Jump to content

Lack of climax due to understanding the truth?


Tamoko

Recommended Posts

I've been with my boyfriend for about 16 months. We've discussed in depth that he's not capable of saying 'I love you' and that he'll probably never want to move in with anyone. This is something I want/need from the man I love in my life, regardless if it is him or not. I've made it clear to him that even if it was him that I wanted this from him it wouldn't be for another 3-5 years when I'm ready to get my feet off the ground and really start my life as an independent career woman.

 

 

The past two times we have had sex I have not enjoyed myself as I have in the past.

 

Usually when we're about to have sex I am very enthused but as of late I have been less than and never initiating. I find myself saying something I've never said.. 'We don't have to, it's ok.'

 

 

Is it possible that these things we have discussed is such an issue to me that it's not allowing me to enjoy myself?

 

 

Has it finally become a truth to me, a fact that this man I care deeply about will never be able to reciprocate the feelings I want from a man in my life that it is effecting my sexuality towards him? Don't get me wrong-I find him very attractive and I enjoy sex and sometimes desire it much more then he does but I just can't climax. I'm not even moaning at this point.

 

 

If this is a possibility should I bring it up to him; with the risk of a break up?

 

Or is it possibly a fluke? He has expressed disappointment that I have not come to climax. I make it very clear to him that It's not him and I had a good time--as I did. But This is a first for us in our sexual relationship.

 

---

 

I should also bring up that I have a lot on my plate at work. Could that also have something to do with it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wouldn't stick around if I were you personally. This type of knowledge does negatively influence sex. I really think you need to reassess why you are in this relationship and what you want out of this because it doesn't seem like there's much of a future with this guy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Stress can affect libido.

 

Reality affects it more. You have just found out that the guy you picture in your life is "meh" about his future, let alone his future with you.

 

So, it is no longer "making love". It is sex. Great exercise, but no intimacy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How old are you both? If he has confirmed he doesn't see a future with you...why do you continue to be with him in the future. If he isn't meeting your future needs, those are still your current needs, otherwise you would not care or wouldn't have discussed. So basically you can either waste time with him, knowing what the end result is, or you can move on and find someone that is looking for the same as you. Do you want to waste your time? You are not married nor living together, sounds like a easy break to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He's going to be 30 this year and I'll be 28 next year.

 

He's a great guy, if anything, for now. Even if I don't have the option of a future with him. I'm not one to try to get a man to change nor wait for him to change to my liking (anymore, at least) and for now, he suits me. But knowing there most likely wont be a future with us when I'm ready to want a future I think is what's damaging what awesome sex we had. I've known he's one not to say I LOVE YOU and not wanting to move in with anyone, but as I said, I'm not ready for anything like that right now so no big deal.. but I think it is, big enough to effect the sex. I think it might be something I should discuss with him if the next couple of times have the same end result. I don't want to abandon ship before trying to work it out. I also don't want to bring it up if it was just a fluke.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...