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how do u get over a break up when u dont want to break up


kathy679

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I no the title sounds confusing, but I'll explain.

 

My boyfriend has done some awful things to me and he really doesn't do me any good when he is unsupportive of me and stressing me out. But there are times we really get on well and have fun.

 

The thing is, I no he has treated me badly and I should break up with him.

 

How do I do that when really, I miss him so much now I haven't seen him for 2 weeks. Does anybody else feel like this and how do u carry on not seeing them when u miss the fun times u had and could continue to have?

 

I think my problem is I can't forgive him for some of the bad things his done to me. Yet I did also have such fun times and I miss them so much

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My boyfriend has done some awful things to me and he really doesn't do me any good when he is unsupportive of me and stressing me out. But there are times we really get on well and have fun.

 

So your OK with people treating you bad, as long as they are nice to you later?

 

Of course you miss him. But like any type of loss, the will go away. Him treating you bad wont.

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Also consider, the "fun" and "good" times seem so much better because they're a contrast to the bad days.

 

It makes a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs that can be a hard cycle to break - and can be addictive.

 

Like most addictions - it doesn't mean it's healthy or good for you. And it's how a lot of people end up staying in abusive relationships - after the abuse, the "make up" behavior is a "high" and powerful, and better than typical day to day good behavior you'd expect.

 

An apology - whether in actions or words, doesn't justify treating you like dirt, then building you up to smack you down again. Doesn't matter if it's physical or mental/emotional, it's wrong, and the good days will get increasingly smaller in number.

 

Abusers don't magically get better. They promise and break their promises over and over.

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What the others said. In addition, have in mind that when the relationship hits rock bottom and he breaks up with you, you will feel 10 times worse/victimized/mistreated/demoralised/loss of control than if you had done what you know is the right thing for yourself. You are destroying your self-esteem by staying on and no relationship is worth that.

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Yeah I've been dumped by my abusive ex and it is preeeeetttttyyyy horrible. Trust me. I don't even know if he will appear again one day as he is very unpredictable and left me once before to want me back shortly after. Admittently he has stayed away longer this time but I don't know if it's all some sordid continuation of the mind games he did throughout the relationship....so I live in hope he might contact me for some dumb reason. YOU DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE ME. Reaaallly. Go with your mind in some sort of shape that you can survive alone and knowing you don't need him. It's all games.

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