Bipolar Co-Worker

[ChellyV]

I am having a hard time through a work day working with a bi-polar. I do not mean to disrespect people who have such, but I really need some advise on how to handle this. We only have each other on the floor when on duty. One time he is nice and loving and very thoughtful, another cold and cruel. Other days I do not care, but there are times it just stings.

[mhowe]

Why is your "co-worker" loving and thoughtful?

Were you once in a relationship?

 

Coworkers need only be respectful and civil.

[ChellyV]

Oh, I meant loving and thoughtful to his family as they can come here and visit him whenever they are in the area. As for me, we keep it respectful and civil. Never more than that. For me he is a good friend who just has some mysterious down days. It is quite hard.

[SooSad33]

You can inquire as to whether he is on his med's regularly? That is HIGHLY suggested- especially re: work.

Can also mention these concerns to manager/boss. You have to be there & work too.

 

No offence taken.. I deal with depression. I know how low I can go..

[mhowe]

You don't know what is going on in his life -- and a down day is much milder than cold and cruel.

 

On his "down days", just keep your distance and focus on work.

[Seraphim]

How do you know he bipolar? People do not usually broadcast that to their co workers.

[ChellyV]

He told me early on.

 

One time he just made me cry with utmost cruel remarks that were unnecessary over commissions and other monetary incentives we get. The next day, he apologized and told me he was. I did do my own readings on how to cope, other than that, he does show drastic ups and downs.

 

In fairness, he is endearing and a "good friend" when he wants to.

[mhowe]

One time? And he apologized the next day.

 

I think you just need to give him more space ---- and if he gets "cruel" again, tell him in no uncertain terms that you will not be talked to that way.

[shellyf62]

My Son is bi-polar, so I understand the nice one day, cruel the next scenario.

When he is cruel just tell him you wont be spoken to like that, and walk away. Don't tolerate that behaviour, and he will learn to try & curb it around you. My Daughter & I use this strategy with my Son, and it works wonders. When they are in a down mood little things can trigger them, so walking away is the best thing to do.

 

I wouldn't try to discuss his meds with him. It is a very private thing. I never discuss this with my Son, I tried once and he got very defensive, so I haven't broached the subject again.

 

You need to understand that you haven't done anything wrong if he is in a mood. It is something he cant control, and trust me, he doesn't like having them, but he cant help it. If he is moody, leave him alone to sort it out, and when he is feeling better he will let you know.

[pippy longstocking]

Firstly in his defense I have respect for him working where human contact is needed ( tongue in cheek of course )

 

That was a huge sign for me , I was losing control at work ...I would go from telling anyone who would listen all my business to all but ignoring them to then wanting to take on the world and woe betide anyone who crossed me that day type of thing .....it is awful , and I usually had a list of apologies to make afterwards ...

 

he sounds like he rapid cycles ...this is why his moods change so very quickly , it is truly exhausting and that is why I am just trying to give his side .

 

but of course you don't have to stand there and take it ...you protect yourself as you see fit ...if he is irritable and unkind to you , then speak up ..

 

" I'm sorry but I refuse to talk to you until you can treat me better"

 

and walk away .

[pippy longstocking]

I wouldn't try to discuss his meds with him. It is a very private thing. I never discuss this with my Son, I tried once and he got very defensive, so I haven't broached the subject again.

 

 

hahaha thats the truth shelly ...if someone asked me about my meds while I was " on one" I would knock them out ...it is a very private matter

 

unless of course your cycling through the "tell the world your business" mode ..

[shellyf62]

hahaha thats the truth shelly ...if someone asked me about my meds while I was " on one" I would knock them out ...it is a very private matter

 

unless of course your cycling through the "tell the world your business" mode ..

 

 

Im glad you agree with me. I don't know any other bi-polar people personally, so everything I have learnt has been from googling.

 

My Sons GF & I will have a little private discussion sometimes if he doesn't seem ok, and I will notice something she hasn't & vice a versa. He was a little "off" on Sunday & we both noticed it, but she told me she saw him take his meds, so it must have just been the full moon

[ChellyV]

Really? Did you ever witness the drastic "I need you" today to "You are worthless" change all in a day?

Well, he being just a co-worker didn't affect my day per se, it is just hard to get through work and everything that goes with it in his moments. I fear one of these days he might get fired, due to being combative and chronically unhappy. Boss is unhappy about it.

 

Thank you all for your insight.

[Seraphim]

My father is bipolar. When he's miserable and cruel I just refuse to talk to him. I make it that simple,

[shellyf62]

Really? Did you ever witness the drastic "I need you" today to "You are worthless" change all in a day?

Well, he being just a co-worker didn't affect my day per se, it is just hard to get through work and everything that goes with it in his moments. I fear one of these days he might get fired, due to being combative and chronically unhappy. Boss is unhappy about it.

 

Thank you all for your insight.

 

My Son can have 5 different emotions in 10 mins.

 

We can be having a conversation and a joke, and if someone says something he takes the wrong way it can set him off, and he can be so cruel & nasty. It isn't his fault, he doesn't want to be like this, but it is the way it is.

[pippy longstocking]

My Son can have 5 different emotions in 10 mins.

 

We can be having a conversation and a joke, and if someone says something he takes the wrong way it can set him off, and he can be so cruel & nasty. It isn't his fault, he doesn't want to be like this, but it is the way it is.

 

 

so your boy deffo rapid cycles as well shelly .....I empthasise and sympathise with you and him .

[shellyf62]

Thanks Star. He is in a very weird phase at the moment, he is very quick to snap and seems really tired all the time.

 

He also goes through stages with his friends, deleting them all off Facebook, not liking any of them, then the next week he adds them all back again, and makes plans to see them. We just go with whatever mood he is in at the time.

[pippy longstocking]

Thanks Star. He is in a very weird phase at the moment, he is very quick to snap and seems really tired all the time.

 

He also goes through stages with his friends, deleting them all off Facebook, not liking any of them, then the next week he adds them all back again, and makes plans to see them. We just go with whatever mood he is in at the time.

 

thankyou shelly ....this is making me feel normal ..so I hope that makes it feel more normal for you dealing with it ...

 

I told all of my friends to kiss my ass ...I deleted myself off face book weeks ago , I don't pick up the phone , I don't answer texts and I even struggle to keep up private messaging with people .. next thing you know I am best friends with everyone ...hahah sound familiar.

 

 

op I hope also you are getting something from this , as we do seem to havetaken your thread , I hope your still reading because you're hearing it from a bipolar person and the mum of .