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How to Deal With a Known Expiry Date on the Relationship?


Soprano

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I met a girl in May (2013), and began dating her in July (this is 2.5 years after my last relationship ended).

We're both in our last year of university, so we will graduate (insha'allah!) in May (2014).

After graduation, I will be moving back home. She does not know where she is going, but the chances of it being where I am is extremely unlikely.

The subject of what would happen in May came up recently.

I went into the relationship with the idea that we'd end things in May, and move on.

I had done long distance before and had a miserable time.

We talked about it briefly, and she also feels the same way, so we're in total agreement.

In light of that though, I have a question.

 

How should I prevent the known expiry date from affecting our relationship until then?

Right now, our time together has been very smooth, with very little arguing.

I've communicated much better than ever before, and have felt far less jealous etc.

I've also not really experienced the desire for other women that I have in previous relationships. I'm more comfortable being in a relationship as opposed to before.

So, how do I prevent the looming end date from changing this?

 

Of course, you may say I should just break up with her now, but I see no reason to do so.

I'm enjoying my time with her more than I think I would being single right now.

And since my lifestyle has changed (going out far less, less partying, more studying) having a partner also suits my new lifestyle.

 

As of now, I'm not having any real problems with the expiry date, but if anyone has been in a similar position, I figured some advice would be great.

 

Thank you in advance!

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I met a guy when we both were finishing school and leaving the country in 6 months.

Well, since the beginning we knew that the end was coming.

we had an incredible time together I still think about him, but I knew this was coming to an end. As long as you are honest with her, and none of you have high hopes, it should be fine.

Enjoy your time together and have fun. If, when you move away, you feel she is the one, than you can make another decision and take things further. But for now don't promise her anything.

Be honest. And be careful not to break her heart.

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You are sure she is okay with it? You stated you both knew you were going to move back home. You talked about long distance not being an option.

 

I only ask as you stated the topic came up of what would happen in May. My best advice is just make you you two express your feelings on the relationship, each other, and the probably end in May.

 

Someone can understand a situation logically, but their feelings may differ. Continue to stay open about talking about it and it should be fine.

 

Do you plan to have your own place when you move? Or are you going to move in with family/friend? Why is it unlikely for her to move to where you go?

 

Do you both have jobs lined up?

 

While you may enjoy having a relationship now since you are studying and not going out never much, that can change after graduation. When you have a steady paying job, then you will have more free time then you may know what to do with. So I suggest thinking about that. What you do plan life after graduation to be?

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