Does Facebook actually help or hurt you?

[JA0371]

I have a FB page...and I have a very low number of friends by choice. I also have a private page and rarely accept friend requests. I'm just naturally a very private person and always have been.

 

I'm not on FB all the time. A few times a week, but I have noticed that any significant amount of time spent on the site always leaves me feeling somewhat depressed. It's not anything specific....nothing crazy happens, I just sometimes notice a change in my mood. Since then I have been staying off it even more.

 

Is there any correlation to FB or other sites that cause this? Does anyone else get like this or am I just a weirdo? Lol

[alli]

Who knows. I've been on Facebook for nearly 8 years and I barely remember what life was like before it! When I first had Facebook I could spend hours sitting at my computer doing nothing. Well, I can still do that, but at the time it was all on Facebook. I feel kind of crappy after sitting and browsing the internet all day. So it could be that. Especially staring at a bright little computer into the evening. It reduces the body's ability to produce melatonin, in turn throwing off your ability to sleep.

 

It could also be the content. People use Facebook for "image crafting". "Oh look at my duckface!" "Oh here is my duckface from the other angle!" "My boyfriend is so amazing!" "Look at all these great material things I own which I don't explicitly say is an attempt to brag about my wealth!"

[Seraphim]

Everything in moderation.

 

However I'm not too fond of social media.

[mia74]

My personal opinion only is.. I really dont see the point of facebook. If I want to keep up with someone they have my number. As for anyone else, part of my past that is probably there for a reason.

[alli]

My personal opinion only is.. I really dont see the point of facebook. If I want to keep up with someone they have my number. As for anyone else, part of my past that is probably there for a reason.

 

I like it because I can see what's going on with my family! Pictures, etc. I also like the interesting articles people post and occasionally recipes though I'm not much of a cook.

[JA0371]

Who knows. I've been on Facebook for nearly 8 years and I barely remember what life was like before it! When I first had Facebook I could spend hours sitting at my computer doing nothing. Well, I can still do that, but at the time it was all on Facebook. I feel kind of crappy after sitting and browsing the internet all day. So it could be that. Especially staring at a bright little computer into the evening. It reduces the body's ability to produce melatonin, in turn throwing off your ability to sleep.

 

It could also be the content. People use Facebook for "image crafting". "Oh look at my duckface!" "Oh here is my duckface from the other angle!" "My boyfriend is so amazing!" "Look at all these great material things I own which I don't explicitly say is an attempt to brag about my wealth!"

 

Lol...this could be it. I don't typically compare my life to other people but yes, it gets ridiculous. And the other extreme is reading about someone's crappy life or how they hate someone. Lol. It's all brain garbage. I miss the old school days of no Internet ....but I love this site .

[annie24]

I have a FB page...and I have a very low number of friends by choice. I also have a private page and rarely accept friend requests. I'm just naturally a very private person and always have been.

 

I'm not on FB all the time. A few times a week, but I have noticed that any significant amount of time spent on the site always leaves me feeling somewhat depressed. It's not anything specific....nothing crazy happens, I just sometimes notice a change in my mood. Since then I have been staying off it even more.

 

Is there any correlation to FB or other sites that cause this? Does anyone else get like this or am I just a weirdo? Lol

 

i read some studies on that. if you're comparing yourself to other people, then yes, you can get depressed. everyone's posting photos of themselves at parties, at their weddings, having a great time. but you have to remember that they're posting the good times. nobody posts photos when they are on the couch, in mismatched pjs and ordering pizza.

[browneyedgirl36]

i read some studies on that. if you're comparing yourself to other people, then yes, you can get depressed. everyone's posting photos of themselves at parties, at their weddings, having a great time. but you have to remember that they're posting the good times. nobody posts photos when they are on the couch, in mismatched pjs and ordering pizza.

 

Yep, and no one ever posts about how crappy their relationship ACTUALLY is, or how they are depressed and on medications, or having money problems, what have you. Well, some people do, but I think more people post about all the "good times" and their accomplishments (and a lot of that is hyperbole anyway).

 

I admit I get a little depressed, mainly when I see people bragging about being in relationships and being "SO in love"; today, in fact, I got a little depressed when a colleague of mine who really, really annoys me was posting pics of her and her new boyfriend. I started thinking, "WOW! SHE has someone, and I don't?!?!?" I realized I was being silly, and a little mean (though this colleague rubs me the wrong way, both in real life AND on FB), and I realized also that, while I'm not on FB nearly as much as most people I know, I DO take some things too seriously.

 

Take ALL of it with a grain of salt. Many people use Facebook foe bragging or attention-seeking purposes. Some used it to gather up a pity party, to fish for compliments, etc. Some really DO want to connect with others, share photos, etc., but it just can't be taken to seriously in general.

[LC8328]

In my opinion, FB is only garbage if you have insecure/immature friends, because they're the type of people who would typically post such things (bragging rights, duckfaces, etc). There really are people who use it for perfectly normal things. Hey, if some of your friends post annoying stuff, you could choose to remove their posts from your timeline so you don't have to see their updates. I've had to do that, and I'm much happier now.

[Stay_home]

Everything isn't for everybody.

 

I like to use facebook to keep up with folks every so often. There are times when I get tired of it too and I deactivate my page for a couple months.

[MyNinja]

I am seldom on Facebook as well. As browneyegirl36 mentioned I do notice a lot of bragging and attention-seeking individuals. I also notice people are very selective in who's post they "like" or respond to. I post something and get three likes and another friend will get like 100 likes and 20 comments and we have the same friends!! Sometimes the other friend will post something plain like, "crashed on the couch with a bowl of fruit loops" and will get dozens of likes/comments. I will post something similar and will get lucky to get one like.

 

Like you OP I feel better staying off. I used to get questioned on why I changed my name to something different and funny (just to switch it up and be fun/creative) or why I posted a particular picture of myself. Like seriously questioned as if I did something wrong or if there was some sort of subtext behind doing it.

[John John]

I have a FB page...and I have a very low number of friends by choice. I also have a private page and rarely accept friend requests. I'm just naturally a very private person and always have been.

 

I'm not on FB all the time. A few times a week, but I have noticed that any significant amount of time spent on the site always leaves me feeling somewhat depressed. It's not anything specific....nothing crazy happens, I just sometimes notice a change in my mood. Since then I have been staying off it even more.

 

Is there any correlation to FB or other sites that cause this? Does anyone else get like this or am I just a weirdo? Lol

 

 

I've experienced this too. I think it's a combination of missing your friends (the ones you actually want to see) after not seeing them in a while, and/or maybe from comparing ourselves to the apparently "perfect" lives of others. I often refer to it as "Bragbook" since everyone mostly brags on it (pictures of their vacations, wedding, parties, amazing meals they've made, etc.). At least, these are the reasons why I think I sometimes feel down after being on FB too much.

 

I deleted it last year for a few months and didn't miss it one bit. I'm only on it now to keep up with birthdays and events.

[JA0371]

I've experienced this too. I think it's a combination of missing your friends (the ones you actually want to see) after not seeing them in a while, and/or maybe from comparing ourselves to the apparently "perfect" lives of others. I often refer to it as "Bragbook" since everyone mostly brags on it (pictures of their vacations, wedding, parties, amazing meals they've made, etc.). At least, these are the reasons why I think I sometimes feel down after being on FB too much.

 

I deleted it last year for a few months and didn't miss it one bit. I'm only on it now to keep up with birthdays and events.

 

That's what Im thinking its about too. I don't even really 'talk' to anyone on it...so it's not even about that. I'm starting a heavy training regimine soon...As,in working out. So that's going to consume much of my time ANd put me in a better mind set!

[Silverbirch]

I just love FB and it has been great for me! I have NEVER posted very personal information on it or anything about my relationships. My family all live interstate, and it enables us to be in very regular contact, sharing photos. I also have a special interest and am friends with others who share that interest so we share pics and information. I have never felt depressed by FB except I do have a friend, a terrific person, but sometimes she posts regularly with photos and stories of animal cruelty so I usually just skim past those. She's a good friend, and the friendship is worth doing that for.

[Batya33]

I like FB for the same reasons as Silverbirch but do tire of the bragging or "who cares what you ate" posts.

[flower888]

I think it depends how much you like the other person. If I like that person, I feel happy for them when they post trip pictures, I also like to see food pictures. If I don't like that person, then I think they are bragging. Same for the reverse, people who don't like me won't "like" my trip pictures, but my real friends like. Is all inside our heads. This is human. Know this and enjoy Facebook with your true friends and family.

[Batya33]

I think it depends how much you like the other person. If I like that person, I feel happy for them when they post trip pictures, I also like to see food pictures. If I don't like that person, then I think they are bragging. Same for the reverse, people who don't like me won't "like" my trip pictures, but my real friends like. Is all inside our heads. This is human. Know this and enjoy Facebook with your true friends and family.

 

I don't agree. I don't think I see it as bragging because we're not otherwise close -I see it that way because it's on Facebook. If the person sent it to me in a private message -or just to a few close friends or family, then I wouldn't see it that way as much. When it's done selectively it's far more clear that it's not done to brag. Same thing with daily life stuff - it's because it's posted on Facebook that it becomes an issue. Of course if the person only has FB friends who are very close friends and family then that is different. I'm referring to people with over 100 friends/acquaintances, like that.

[flower888]

I see. When we post something, everyone in our friendlist will see right? Can we select who could see?

 

I used to feel irritated to see my friends posting their kids' pictures, I still do a little bit but not as much. But I feel the real problem is with me not liking kids. At least for myself, if I don't dislike that person, I don't feel irritated even if he is bragging. Of course, I am a hypocrite too, since I don't like that someone, why is she in my friend list? I know one big reason is because we didn't fight at all.

[flower888]

I have a FB page...and I have a very low number of friends by choice. I also have a private page and rarely accept friend requests. I'm just naturally a very private person and always have been.

 

I'm not on FB all the time. A few times a week, but I have noticed that any significant amount of time spent on the site always leaves me feeling somewhat depressed. It's not anything specific....nothing crazy happens, I just sometimes notice a change in my mood. Since then I have been staying off it even more.

 

Is there any correlation to FB or other sites that cause this? Does anyone else get like this or am I just a weirdo? Lol

 

I just read this post again. I was like you before, reading fb used to make me unhappy. Nowadays it doesn't anymore, reason is because I am in a better place now than before ( unhappy marriage, now ended ). So FOR ME, i realise my reaction will depend on whether I am happy with my own life.

[Batya33]

I see. When we post something, everyone in our friendlist will see right? Can we select who could see?

 

I used to feel irritated to see my friends posting their kids' pictures, I still do a little bit but not as much. But I feel the real problem is with me not liking kids. At least for myself, if I don't dislike that person, I don't feel irritated even if he is bragging. Of course, I am a hypocrite too, since I don't like that someone, why is she in my friend list? I know one big reason is because we didn't fight at all.

 

Yes I believe on FB you can select who sees your posts. I see your point too. I can like a person very much but not like it when he/she brags. I also think that people post things that would be funny if shared face to face or on the phone, or with a few select people but when it's posted on a wall to hundreds the humor is mostly lost.

[flower888]

I think I haven't seen anyone of my friends brag for real. I personally don't consider trip pictures and food pictures as bragging. Oh, I am in the mature age group, so my group of people don't brag about how many guys/girls they hang out with.

[Batya33]

I think I haven't seen anyone of my friends brag for real. I personally don't consider trip pictures and food pictures as bragging. Oh, I am in the mature age group, so my group of people don't brag about how many guys/girls they hang out with.

 

I am in my 40s too. That's good that your facebook friends don't brag. I don't consider food or trip pictures to be bragging either -unless the descriptions are designed to give that impression. I have facebook friends from ages 17-80.

[browneyedgirl36]

I don't consider food or travel pics bragging either, though I do find excessive food-related pics annoying. I mean, do I really want to see a picture of EVERY meal you consume at a restaurant? I have a friend who posts pics of her food just about every time she goes out. It just seems...odd.

 

The "bragging" posts mainly come from a few friends -- one of whom is a colleague of mine -- who post incessantly about their accomplishments. It seems evident to me that they are seeking attention/praise. Some of the posts are VERY lengthy and detailed. The others are attention-seeking in sort of the opposite way: pity-party, "woe is me" type posts designed to get sympathy, garner compliments, "Oh, so-and-so, WHY would someone treat you that way??? You're SUCH a GOOD person!" I have one friend who regularly posts her woes -- her posts have a tone of victimhood to them -- and she has the same group of people always posting to her how awesome and wonderful she is. She has also threatened to "leave" Facebook on several occasions because of all the "haters" (yep -- a woman my age, early 40's, is using the term "haters). And, predictably, her little cadre of boosters pops up to tell her how she HAS to stay on Facebook and that the "haters" can all go to hell, etc. A lot of drama for people my age!

 

This isn't the vast majority of my friends, by any means; just a select few. They're people I know in real life (I actually know all of my FB friends in real life -- I don't have any that I've never actually met), and they're pretty much the same in person as they are on FB.

 

I read a quote once that summed up Facebook perfectly for me: "Facebook has really made me like some people I've never met, and it's make me dislike people I know very well. "

[JA0371]

Lol.....thanks for posting this. It sums up basically what I was trying to explain.

Especially the last quote hahahaha!!!! Soooo true!!

[happpybear]

I hate facebook. Yep, I said it. I had a profile back in 2007 or 2008 (can't remember) and then got rid of it 5-6 months later. It was awesome initially because I got back in touch with old friends that I had genuinely lost touch with, but other than that I found it mostly annoying. It annoyed me that my friends relied on facebook for everything social, when i got rid of it, I suddenly stopped getting invited to stuff, so had to remind people to actually call me for events. There was also weird facebook drama with my group of friends, it was odd. There was definitely pressure to portray yourself in a specific way, which I found annoying. I think if you let it get to you, if you are insecure and have a tendency to compare yourself to others, then facebook will likely become your undoing.

 

I will be moving soon and my friends in my current town are all pressuring me to get on facebook to keep in touch. They think I'm a weirdo for not being on any social media.