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What to do here? I want to leave my past in my past


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My best friend introduced me to a group of friends and that's where I saw my boyfriend and fell for him. It was three years ago and we became friends and I was a part of their group. My boyfriend and I started to get to know each but it ended in a disaster. Before I met him I was talking to someone, it was no where near serious so I didn't bother telling him about it. Unfortunately he found out, he didn't confront me about it, he just moved on. I was shocked when I found out he was talking to someone else and when I confronted him about it, he told me he knew i was talking to someone else so he decided to move on.


I was hurt because I really liked him. He had a close friend in their cliq, whom I called to help me talk to him. I was 16 at the time and had just lost my virginity. His friend was nice, he gave me advice and suggested that we hang out to get my mind off of things. I was naive and I went over his house to hang out in the hopes of just a mere friendship and we were watching movies and he suddenly came onto me and started kissing me. I was vulnerable at the time so I caved in and we hook up after that. I didn't like his friend like that. We became friends with benefits which ended horribly wrong because he was also sleeping with one of the girls in the cliq. We both didn't know about it because she and I never really had good communications. Since I was the newbie in the group he denied ever having sexual encounters with me. It was a big fallout and we haven't spoken since.


Anyways I regretted ever going that far with him and ruining my relationships with people I cared about. It was three years ago and I've forgiven myself and moved on. I even wrote a apology note to the girl that he also slept with, apparently they had a history together.

Me and my boyfriend always communicated even though he was in a relationship and I was a mess but we had this chemistry and he always cared about me no matter how deep my sin was. He is a free spirited person that believes in second chances and leaving the past in the past.


In short, three years later he forgave me and decided that we should start over and take things one step at a time. He is such a loving person and he tells me how he is happy that I'm finally his and how he has so much in store for me. I feel the same about him, if i had to rank my boyfriends; he will be the first and that's even before we really got to know each other. I love him so much at this point that it would crush me if we be separated for any reason.


He stills hang out with his friends (my ex friends) which I don't have a problem with, just recently he told me that he is planning a weekend getaway including his friends and me. His close friend(the one i slept with) is the center of the group and he is also in a relationship with the same girl from three years ago. She hates me, he hates me and once they hate me; they are going to convinced the rest of their friends to hate me. I know this because we've all been friends before.


Should I go on this trip even though I know it will be super awkward?

My boyfriend wants me to go and he even jokingly said that it's going to be funny when i met my old friends. He added that he didn't care about the awkwardness and that it's up to me.

I really want to go and have fun with my boyfriend but I'm scared that being in my past is going to bring up my past and I'm going to lose my boyfriend in the process.


What should i do?


Please no judgement, that's all I've been getting lately from my friends and family. I had no one to turn to but the internet. I really love my boyfriend and I want to keep him.

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