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Ended it over e-mail -- Out of NO where -- DEVASTATED.


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We met online and everything went incredibly, immediately. We were both convinced that we had found our counterpart for life, even though we had just met. I continued to feel this way -- and apparently his love for me slowly dimmed without me having ANY clue. Last weekend we lounged around, he made me breakfast in bed, I left him a cute note on the mirror that he loved, we cooked dinner together -- It was great.

 

One problem that had surfaced in the last few months is that I am one who loves to communicate. I enjoy a, "How is your day going so far?" at noon or a, "My turkey sandwich was delightful today at lunch." ... Anything, anytime. But it is hard for me to go 12-24 hours with NOTHING. Not a call, not a text, nothing. I mentioned it a few times and asked him if he minded communicating a little more. I am the type of person who would go to the moon and back to compromise and work together to improve upon a relationship... so I didn't think it was a lot to ask.

 

He was supposed to come over this morning after work and I receive a text instead. "Read your e-mail before you call me." ... He ended it. His e-mail said he needed to focus on work, and wanted to continue on with school, and didn't want to devote time to those things AND me.

 

I had a year long relationship that failed, a three year relationship that failed, a two year relationship that failed, and now this one. I am 27 years old and I feel that my ultimate dream of having a husband to spoil and dote on -- a house to make our home, and children to call me mommy... is never going to happen. I know, I know.. I am young and love will find me when I least expect it. Take it day by day, I deserve better yata yata... But why should I buy into that when time and time again since middle school relationships don't work out, and I end up hurt, crying and thinking the same thing -- I will likely never have my dream. I will never have my family.

 

I am absolutely crushed, and devastated. I want to know what I am supposed to do. Am I too needy?

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Im 27 too. And my ex dumped me a week ago. Its so hard. We were already talking about me moving in with him, about marriage and stuff. It hurts so much. All my friends are married! Next year im gonna be 28. Im losing hope too.

 

He was the best for me, i wanted to marry him! He has a great job, own house and car. And he really really loved me too.

 

Im sorry, i should have given you an advice, instead i hijacked your post.

Right now im trying to turn my life around. Im looking for a job now(he told me to resign before), talking with other guys who clearly are interested in me. But i really dont like them. Talking to them makes me realize how much my ex is better than them.

 

So i guess, we should take it one day at a time. And think positive.

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I'm sorry that you're hurting. I know it sucks. One thing you could do is to figure out what all of these men and all of the failed relationships have in common, because there might be a pattern here that you could learn from.

 

Oh, and also, I don't think it was too needy of you at all to ask for more communication. With the right person, that would have been no big deal and they would have met you halfway. This just wasn't the right person.

 

Get your head right, see what you can learn from all of it. That's all I got. I hope you heal soon. Spoil yourself this week, be extra nice to yourself.

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I'm 33 and all I ever wanted was the simple life as well.

 

In my opinion you are not too needy.

But I am the type of person who likes to message back and forth at anytime.

 

If you were too needy he should have said.

If he wanted this to work he would have told you he found the communication a bit much.

 

I am disgusted at your ex cowardly way of bailing on you.

Unfortunately it happens to a lot of us.

 

Could indeed be work and school.

Could have had his options open all this time and chose to pursue someone else.

 

You are now supposed to be single, heal and get back into dating when you feel ready.

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Firstly I wouldn't worry about being alone at 27. You have a lot of young years to go yet before you can even consider being "left on the shelf" as they say.

 

You've had a few relationships fail over the years, but in the 27 years of your life they don't add up to a lifetime of failures. You can still find someone for you. For the record I'm a 34 year old male and my 9 year relationship has literally just ended a few weeks ago. We were engaged. Before that I had a 2.5 year relationship which ended.

 

I'm not planning on giving up hope. I just want to cherish the simple life with someone who wants to build a home and a life together. You don't sound clingy, you sound nice. Spending time together, leaving notes and sending texts through the day show you care for and love that person.

 

You must look at the things that go wrong and learn from it. It's hard and it hurts, but I know where things have went wrong for me and it works both ways. One person isn't all to blame in a failed relationship. You shouldn't need to bend over backwards to please someone either they should love you for YOU.

 

Take care, you will grow and come out stronger.

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You sound very much like my own girlfriend, who is the sweetest girl I've ever known.

 

I am almost 20 years older than her, came out of a 23 year toxic marriage where there was almost no affection, communication, or trust. When I got together with her, she would text me all through the day. Sweet things like "I love you, how's you're day going....and I love you to the moon and back." (couldn't help seeing your reference to that particular choice of words) After being in a desert for so long, this was like a glass of cold fresh water. I adore this girl, and all that affection, (doting as you call it) and after going though what I did for so long, I treasure her, and that affection. Your stupid ex boyfriend had no idea what he threw away. Be very glad you didn't waste a bunch of years in a relationship like I did, giving that sweet affection to someone who doesn't or can't appreciate it. Don't take his behavior personal, count it a blessing, and change NOTHING about yourself. You will find a man, like myself, who will take what you are offering, appreciate it for it's value, and return that affection back.

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Sorry it didn't work out and I hope and believe that with time you will slowly feel better.

 

This grabbed my attention

 

I feel that my ultimate dream of having a husband to spoil and dote on

 

would you care to elaborate on that? Why do you want to do that? I am all for doing sweet little nothings and romance with our partners but why spoil and dote on? Are you generally the giver or is it equal?

 

I had a year long relationship that failed, a three year relationship that failed, a two year relationship that failed, and now this one. time again since middle school relationships don't work out, and I end up hurt, crying and thinking the same thing

 

I had 6 relationships that failed, 10 one night stands that failed, a couple of friendships and 5 jobs that didn't work out. That is life, it's not 'failing'. It's how it works, how we learn, how we hurt and how we find joy.

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I agree that what you're experiencing is the average experience rather than an excess

of failures. And you're way too young to get yourself down thinking it'll never happen.

This guy broke up with you by EMAIL!? Soon you will be thinking "what a loser! I can't believe I was imagining a life with such a classless coward!"

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I agree with quirky, it's not failure it's life. I have had many relationships fail.... I get hurt, I brush myself off, I move on. There isn't a time table but really, 27 is so young. Don't waste it! I know this hurts. As a recently dumped person, I can relate. Just ride the emotions out. Accept you had a good thing but it wasn't perfect for you. Concentrate on what you do want and making yourself happy.

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No- you don't sound too needy. I can understand your hurts. Sadly, this one didn't turn out either.

But, yes, at least you ARE still young.

You will find somone who IS looking for a future with you. One who doesn't have issues/complications.

This guy, is obviously turning to other things in his life, also VERY important to him...so, things with him didn't turn out. Good thing is he's at least admitted this and now, things are in the clear. He's not the one for YOU. (Instead of getting nasty, neglectful, or lied to..he spoke up).

 

Now, time to work on 'accepting & healing'. Take a bit of time off, for YOU. Take care of you now.

Someone WILL come along for you again. You WILL get another interest. NEVER rush into it though. Go with a clear head and open heart.

 

We have NO control over these things. All we've got is time...time to take care of ourselves as one day, we'll meet someone else and start again.. happily.

 

One day at a time. Let this guy go, and you NEVER know- there'll be another one around the corner.

HE may be the one, who sweeps your heart away in so many ways.

Always take care of you, though. Your heart and mind. You have much to live for. You're a smart, good hearted woman, aren't you? -Yes-.

 

All the best... work now on dealing with this and moving on, again. You've got much time yet.

Don't worry. You WILL be okay

( I'm almost mid 40's and again.. lost a love of 5 yrs.) Is sucks! We just never know. BUT 'm still here.

 

tc

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We met online and everything went incredibly, immediately. We were both convinced that we had found our counterpart for life

 

This is a red flag for me. Over committing to a relationship before you actually know the person is a mistake. I don't know how long you actually dated but it seems that you both were not convinced once you actually got to know the other person and the newness wore off.

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