Batya33 Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 But, Batya, I didn't take up his time. HE asked me to talk..like he did every day after our date. And for him to ask me to talk every single day and then turn around and say 'YOU are interested but...'.....it doesn't make any sense. To me it does. He asked you to talk because he is interested in dating you. You are not. So it might have been considerate of you to tell him straight up "I am enjoying this chat but I'm not interested in pursuing anything date-wise/romantic with you" -after that, sure it's his time to spend as he sees fit. I think he said what he said to save face because he realized you weren't interested. Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 He asked you to talk because he is interested in dating you. You are not. So it might have been considerate of you to tell him straight up "I am enjoying this chat but I'm not interested in pursuing anything date-wise/romantic with you" -after that, sure it's his time to spend as he sees fit. I think he said what he said to save face because he realized you weren't interested. I really don't think so. He never gave any indication that he wanted to date me or even see me again. Why would I tell someone 'I'm not interested in pursuing anything romantic' when he has not expressed any interest? I've only said that to men who asked what I thought of the date and if I want to see them again...like Don, for example. Greg, as I said before, made a point, during our date, to tell me that we go out to get to know each other and that to him it doesn't have to be about romance, he's made friends from that site, etc...he never paid me a compliment (I mean, apart from the fact that I'm a pleasant girl with a good sense of humour), never flirted, never made me think 'hmmm, this guy is into me'....even when he asked me to call him etc, he did it in a friendly way like 'hey, if you have nothing better to do, call me'...and we talked about my dates, his dates, women he's currently talking to on the site, men I'm talking to, etc......so, telling him 'you know what, I'm not interested' would just sound presumptuous and irrelevant. Just like his text to me sounded. Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 Jim was supposed to contact me today to confirm plans for our date tomorrow.When he hadn't called or texted until 6pm I sent him a text asking if we're still on for tomorrow and got no reply several hours later. I guess that means I'm free tomorrow. Greg hasn't contacted me at all since our afternoon conversation and I don't expect him to. I'm not sure if I should delete him from my list..all this today was very sudden and unexpected and I wish I could keep him as a friend I deleted Patrick and, I imagine, he won't be surprised..lol Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Yes I agree with you. I do wonder why you would choose to spend all this time chatting with a near stranger you're only interested in friendship with when you could spend that time cultivating potential romantic relationships. I love making new friends too but maybe this isn't the best use of your time? I thought he had messaged you on the dating site expressing interest in seeing you again. Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 Yes I agree with you. I do wonder why you would choose to spend all this time chatting with a near stranger you're only interested in friendship with when you could spend that time cultivating potential romantic relationships. I love making new friends too but maybe this isn't the best use of your time? I thought he had messaged you on the dating site expressing interest in seeing you again. Well, the thing is, we are extremely compatible. Imagine I don't even talk on the phone so much, I don't like it! But, with Greg, from the first time we talked (long before we went on that date), we just clicked. And, after the date, our chats were even more comfortable and pleasant...I would call it 'personality chemistry', the way you click with a very good friend. I felt like I'd known him for years. However, after what happened, I won't do it again unless I make sure the other person is on the same page. Anyway....new guy. Matt, 44, single, no kids, works with computers, tall, handsome (great blue eyes) AND a Gemini (I love that star sign). We had our first chat today and we also talked on the phone. His last relationship ended 7 months ago and it was a girl he had lived with for 3 years. He talks a lot but so do I...lol. He asked me to meet and we agreed on Sunday. He's going to call Sunday morning to confirm. Link to comment
NorthDallas40 Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Geez - just take GREG to the gym to work on his abs and make him your boyfriend already! And I have to say that judging by the Greg topic alone, MissM - you are quite argumentative, at least on this board. Not a bad thing though... Batya clearly loves debates too, if the last couple of pages are any evidence (love both of you though!) Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Geez - just take GREG to the gym to work on his abs and make him your boyfriend already! And I have to say that judging by the Greg topic alone, MissM - you are quite argumentative, at least on this board. Not a bad thing though... Batya clearly loves debates too, if the last couple of pages are any evidence (love both of you though!) Yes I love a good debate. I tried to avoid it about any personal topics especially when I was getting to know someone - "better to be close than to be right". Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 10, 2014 Author Share Posted January 10, 2014 UPDATE 1. This morning I found a text by Jim...he had sent it at 12.35 am! (my text had been 'are we still on for tomorrow?') I had a dog issue. I guess so. To which I replied Some other time. You didn't call yesterday so I made other plans. Hope the dog is ok. I haven't heard back from him yet. 2. I just logged on the site and a guy started talking to me..for the first time...and his first words were 'I'm not 52 (what his profile said), I'm 56 but I look younger'. I blocked him immediately. 3. I haven't heard anything from Greg and I haven't contacted him either but we're still on each other's list. A friend says he was fishing to see if I'm interested and I 'shot him down' with my reaction...but I don't care. If he wanted to know if I'm interested, he should have found a better way. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I'm impressed you get all these men contacting you! My friend did link removed for 6 months and didn't get a single date. She's 30, cute but slightly chubby. She had better luck on some other sites. I didn't have any luck with men the last time I tried match. I'm just impressed with your daily assortment of men! Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I had a dog issue. Lol. What does that even mean? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I would not meet Jim -that's so rude - it could only go downhill from there. Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 10, 2014 Author Share Posted January 10, 2014 Well, Jim left me 2 messages and he also called a few times during the afternoon but I had it turned off, I always do when I take my nap I'm still at the vet's. Call me if you want. And then he had called himself 4 times, 10 minutes before I turned the cell on, so, I called him but he didn't pick up. I sent him a message I called but couldn't reach you...what's wrong with the dog? and he just called me and I heard his voice for the first time. He sounds like a nice guy with a sweet voice. Apparently, his dog ate something poisonous last night and he's been given injections etc but the vet can't say for sure if he'll live or not. He apologised about not calling me sooner, he said we'll definitely reschedule and I asked him to send me a message when he finds out about the dog. I'll give him one more chance...if my cat had been poisoned, I know I'd have gone crazy and he sounded genuinely apologetic. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Oh no!!!! Yeah that's an emergency. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Yes -an emergency -he definitely gets a free pass for that one. Hope his dog is ok. Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 Patrick just called me. Surprisingly as I had deleted him and he knew it. Anyway, we talked for a while about this and that. Funny detail: when I saw his name on my screen, I couldn't remember who he was and when he said hi, it's Patrick, I said Patrick who...lol It didn't bother him though. Poor guy, I feel sorry for him. Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 New guy. Alex, 48, an architect, divorced for 8 years, 11yo daughter living with mum, lives 20 mins away, 6ft, good body, black hair, brown eyes, interesting face...and a Gemini (yes, another one!...when it rains Geminis, it pours..lol). Open, talkative and seems to be serious about what he wants. The only thing I'm not sure about is that he broke up with his last gf a month ago and they had been together for 3 years. He said it's definitely over but I'm a bit sceptical. We talked online for a while, we exchanged phone numbers and he's going to call me in a few and we'll see how it goes. Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 Alex called me and we talked for 40 minutes. He has a sexy voice and that was the only thing I liked. First of all, no sense of humour but that wasn't the worst. About 15 minutes into the phonecall he goes 'I like everything on your profile except one thing'. 'What?' I said. 'That you're a smoker', he said...and he starts a lecture about smoking and how much he hates it and that his ex wife was a smoker and he couldn't even kiss her blah blah. So, I said, since you hate smokers so much, why did you message me? He said he liked my pics and everything I had written. Then he asked how many a day do I smoke and if I smoke inside the house. I was getting very annoyed but before I could tell him that it's obvious we're not a match, his daughter arrrived (she's staying with him for the weekend) and we had to end the convo. If he calls me again or asks to meet, I'm going to tell him that it's pointless. Patrick called me again and asked my plans about tonight. I told him I'm going out with a friend of mine (the one I had told him about) and he said he'd like to get to know her after all...child and all. I called her and told her about him and she agreed to meet him...so, he's going to meet us at a bar downtown. I'm going to be with 2 of the most pessimistic people I know..yay me...and who knows what can happen...she also doesn't like animals and never had a pet, cleaning the house is her favourite pasttime..and she's terrified of bacteria..should be a match made in heaven! Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Well, I have to agree with him, it's very bad for you, smells terrible, and is terribly unhealthy. Have you thought about quitting? Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 Yes, many times. It's not that I disagree with him..it's that, when something is a dealbreaker for you, why even start a convo with the other person? What would I tell him? I'm a smoker but if I meet you and we fall in love, I'll quit? Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 I dunno - maybe he called and wanted to find out if you were a "social smoker" (only when out with friends getting drinks) or a 2 pack a day, inside the house smoker? Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 Maybe, annie, I don't know. But still, even if I only smoked when I went out (which isn't the case), he still would mind. The guy told me that even when his wife took a bath and brushed her teeth, he still could smell the smoke! I've dated non smokers before but they compromised and so did I. This one doesn't sound like he wants to compromise at all. He was very negative. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Well, he doesn't have to compromise, right? Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 UPDATE The meeting between Patrick and my friend (and my poor self) was awkward at first. It turned out that they had talked on the phone a few years ago and had fought with each other...their mothers were highschool friends and they had tried to set them up but it hadn't gone beyond that phonecall. What were the odds??? Anyway, after about half an hour, things calmed down and the rest of the evening was ok-ish. He told me he's glad he got to know me better and hopes he can see me again (I doubt that) and he paid for our drinks, too..nice guy but full of insecurities. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 lol, i'm not surprised! at least you tried! i can see how two awkward personalities may clash. by the way, i think you need to tell both of your friends that bacteria, viruses, and archaea outnumber the human cells in their body 10:1. we're all walking microbial incubators! Link to comment
missmarple Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 i think you need to tell both of your friends that bacteria, viruses, and archaea outnumber the human cells in their body 10:1. we're all walking microbial incubators! Are you kidding? I don't know how Patrick would react but my friend would have a heart attack or something Link to comment
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