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Please read and reply someone please help me out


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Once again I sit here confused and very emotional,Well mabe this is truly the end my ex does not want to talk to me anymore and has finally told me he does not want to talk to me because he wants to get over his feelings for me,This hurts the breakup hurt the process of dealing with it hurt,But now after he has told me this it killed me it stabbed me 10 times more harder in my heart and has made me feel like so stressed and depressed.I am really unsure of what to do at this point even though there is nothing I can do I wish there was something I could do.

 

I wish everyone could understand how much I love and care for him and I am not over him I wish there was a way for him to see this but I dont think he really cares about that anymore because he wants nothing to do with me because of things that have happened in the past,Now my question is what now what can I do it has been 7 months I am not over him I love him to death and now he does not even want to talk to me at all?

 

I am just so lost and so confused it really sucks and I cant take much more of feeling like this,Sometimes I wish that there was a way we could work things out and be better but this is just so messed up.He told me love is nothing but a word that love does not mean anything yet he told me he loved and wanted to marry me for 2 years,This all is starting to really take me back down in a depression again when all I want to really do is be happy!

 

I find myself thinking about not ever talking to him again and I cant even imagine it because I am still in love with him and we have been through this a million times the no talking not seeing eachother but this time he told me he wants to get over me!I really seen him in my future and this is so hard on me,Yes I realize I am 21 years old I have alot of growing up to do and more things to learn but I do know for a fact that he is something I just can give up on and pretend everything is ok when in fact it's not has not been and I really cant see it being ok in time because alot of time has passed.

 

If you can understand where I am coming from or have opinions or advice please can someone help me out here I am at the end of the road on figuring out what I can do?He told me once we stop talking I will meet someone and he has been through this before and it will work and I told him we will see because I am not looking and def dont want anyone else but him.Sometimes I wonder if he ever really cared or the things he told me were the truth or if it was just something to say.

 

I really really dont know what to do all I want is someway to making everything better and us trying to work it out or atleast mabe even talk here and there I dont know what is wrong with me,As you can see I am crying and my heart is to and I am just sick of it everyone tells me time will heal your wounds but it has been 7 months and still no difference in the way I feel about him it's like my mind is set why is that when he wants nothing to do with me right now?!

 

Someone please explain to me why I go through this?Why I think about him all the time and even though he treats me like dirt sometimes why I still care so much about him and love him more then anything?Why is it that when he says to me very blunt I dont want to talk to you anymore I want to get over my feelings for you that I cant just except that and move on?NO it just dont happen for me I am stuck and hurt and really confused!Instead I still try to call him I still want to see him and I take the yells that he gives me when we do talk,Or I still try to find ways to make him happy and make things better?WHY?please help

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Hi angel,

 

I can understand what you are going through. When a couple break up, it is always (mostly anyway) instigated by one party. The other person, whom is still in love...etc with that person will feel betrayed, sad,depressed and so on.

 

I think that the best thing that you can do is to stop contact with your ex. By keeping in contact you are always remainded of him, whereas no contact is not easy, you will start to get over your feelings towards him. I know that this is not what you want, but sometimes you cannot make another person love you.

 

Although you cannot change your ex, you can change yourself. Stopping contact and setting goals is a good way to start.

 

Remember that a LOT of other people go through what you have gone through. Maybe getting a proper support network will also help in the way of family and friends.

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I too was 21 and went through this. I couldn't imagine being with anyone but him etc. We had a child together and that made it worse. Then he sepereated from both of us and never wanted to see us again. I hashed it up and constantly tried to fix it, but he went further and further away.

The truth is that some times loving someone means letting them go. If their heart isn't where yours is they can lie and decieve you as long as they want too. It hurts something awful, the pain is unbearable and I too went through the bouts of anger and depression. the sooner you can just let go, the sooner you will begin to see there is a world of possibility in front of you. Letting go means, remembering some good, taking some bad and learning a lesson so that the next time it doesn't feel that way.

 

21 is a confusing age as is, as you get older although I am not much older than you, you will start to see things more clearly. And guys take much longer to mature than females do. they also have different motives. Good luck.

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Angel, I am where you are, though it has been just a couple of months. I thought she was going to be my everything, and I think she has unofficially started the no contact thing with me. No contact is hard when you have spent so much time and energy and love on someone. How do you just stop talking or emailing them, right? Like I said, I am there now. It takes everything I have, but I have cut back to one non-work-related email a day, and eventually, that too will get cut the less and less she responds back to me. My heart breaks at the very thought of that.

 

I know your heart is breaking, Angel. One thing to know is that sometimes people say things to hurt because they know it will hurt. If you read any of my other posts, I'm starting to sound like a broken record (um, skipping cd for the younger ones!) here, but when you think of him, and you start to think of all the great things that were, try to pick at least one negative thing for every good thing. It is not easy. Trust me, I know. I can think of 9 billion good things, but I try to match every one of them with a bad thing.

 

No contact is the best. No, it won't be easy. Have you tried sending an email to yourself? Create a new message and type away! Put in everything you want to say and what you feel and in the TO: field, put in your own address.... And ONLY your address... Then send it. It will comoe back to you, so don't delete it. Just hang on to it for a day or two, then read it again. You'll see things in a different light. Then, delete it. And, if you have to, do that again.

 

If you don't like that idea, you could try just writing on paper. Write a letter to him (DO NOT SEND IT), then burn it or tear it up...

 

Keep us posted, okay?

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Thankyou so much for taking the time to read my post and replying enotalone,It is just so hard for me I have been going through these feelings for a very long time and really it does nothing but stress me out and makes me feel that I am worth nothing,I know that people are going through the same thing as me out there and I hope thing's get better for you all as well because it's not a good thing to go through or even feel,I am hoping that things will get better soon because as I said before I have seriously had enough of feeling the way I feel,I did feel he was my everything and still do and by now after everything we have been through I cannot believe I am still trying so hard to make things work,I try so hard to get through to him but trying is only making it worse because he does tell me he loves me then it could be the very next day and he can be so rude and mean to me.I am hoping that oneday we can atleast talk again somewhere down the line because he was a very very special part of my life and so was his family.I dont know what I am going to do from here on out I guess just try to make it through this as I have been doing and hopefully things will get better soon,I wish everyone that is going through this the best of luck and hope that things will get better for you to,Anyone with a broken heart out there gets big hugs

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