boobs dilemma.

[mediacrat]

Hey guys, so me and my boyfriend have been together for three years, we're both in our early twenties.. anyway i have very small boobs, not past an a cup.. and my boyfriend knows how insecure i feel about them and he always says he loves them, theyre a perfect size, he wouldnt change them etc.. however, he is always looking at photos of women with very big boobs, he has some saved on his computer, his celebrity crush has biiig ones too and if we re watching a movie, sometimes he makes comments about the lead actress .. it gets annoying cause its something i CANT give to him so it always makes me feel inferior to those girls he probably desires more than me.. our sex is great but this whole thing is confusing me.. i talked to him about it, calmly and he said he geniunley finds them sexy and he really does love them, but if he does why would he be constantly looking at women with bigger boobs than me? Is it because he finds them more attractive or because hes not getting them from me so hes seeking them from somewhere else? Thanks in advance to whoever answers this.

[Edmund Exley]

Guys like women in all shapes and sizes. If he wasn't attracted to you he wouldn't be with you. I think your putting some of your own insecurity on him and using what evidence you can find as proof to feel like you do.

[mediacrat]

Honestly not really, i only started to notice this recently, never really cared before, but i keep finding folders of cleavage photos, and generally around eighty photos of women with unrealistic big breasts, when i told him about that he said, i dont even know why i have them, ill delete them.. the whole movies thing he always mentions whenever we see a half naked scene, and now he even has photos on his phone, and no i wasnt snooping either, but they werent there before, so i started to wonder, if he kept those images secret it wouldnt bug me, like i know he watches porn and it doesnt bother me what he looks at because its not infront of me all the time, this is

[Lorem Ipsum]

Don't get a boob job for him. If it truly bothers *you* and only you (clothes don't fit right off the shelf, can't wear the clothes you would like to due to lack of boobage), then look into it. Cosmetic surgery ain't cheap. You don't want to entrust your life and health to some quack operating out of their garage. Although you've been together for three years, you may not be together forever, so don't do it for him or because you think it will keep him or stop him from looking at photos. Personally, I don't think it will stop him from looking, I think he'll always have that fascination with boobies, big ones, small ones, gigantic ones. Unless someone here has had breast enlargement surgery and can tell their story what it was like/is like having implants, find a forum that deals with cosmetic surgery and ask there. Implants can leak and rupture, they can shift. Some people who got silicone ones say leaks have destroyed their health/given them weird health conditions. If you're going to make this decision, you need to be informed about it, both good and bad.

 

Does he know that you know how much time he spends looking at big knockers? Does he know that it makes you feel insecure/that you're being compared to these other women? One of my male friends is a big boob man. But he just married his long-term girlfriend who is not a 38GGG. I doubt your boyfriend is doing it to hurt you, if having a girlfriend with big boobs was a priority for him, he wouldn't still be with you. Is this truly about him and his actions or is this a recurring theme in your life/you've always been teased for not having big boobs?

[metrogirl]

I will look at some big boobs myself, doesn't mean I want them. If he really wanted a big boobs, I'm sure there are no shortage of girls he could be with right? Cut him some slack, he's with you.

[mediacrat]

Im not looking to get surgery so i really dont know where you got that from, my question was, whether i should look into it or whether its a normal boyfriend thing to look at naked girls when you have a girlfriend. I will never go under a knife for any reason, for myself or not, this is my first boyfriend ever and it is about him and his actions hence why this never bothered me before because i didnt care, and no i was never teased for having small boobs, and even if i did it wouldnt much matter to me because i only value the opinions of people i love, thats why i dont want my boyfriend to think im not sexy and prefer other women instead just because of their . Its hurtful and i spoke to him, but he insists he likes my body but its hard to believe because if he did he wouldnt need to look at others

[Edmund Exley]

I think his collection is a little unusual. Not sure why he feels the need to store that stuff.

[tattoobunnie]

I look at a lot of things. My hubby looks at tame, but different things. We both have zerooooo desire to do what we watch.

 

My hubby best explained it - sometimes you look at things based on a concept of it - may have absolutely nothing to do with your sexual needs in reality.

 

I wouldn't worry at all. I got a boob job (no where near when I got with my hubby), and I LOVE THEM! But, my hubby is a total boob man, but knew me before the boob job, and loved my barely A cup boobs back then. So all in all - I would not worry - dudes sometimes harvest the most dumbest things on their hard drives.

[Kristenelaine]

You found his *alone time* folder, that's all.

 

I have been there and found photos like that in previous relationships...men are very visual beings. If he says he loves your body, he does.

 

I compare myself to other women all the time too. It's a curse isnt it?

 

Like an above poster said, if he wasnt attracted to you he wouldnt be with you. I would recommend asking him not to make comments about actresses or other womens breasts around you anymore for it does hit on your insecurities. OR, start talking about the lead man in a movies 6pack and big arms...he will feel what you feel and understand pretty quickly.

[Snow Bird]

Yes it's normal for men to look at nude photos of naked women and to watch porn too. It's a guy thing and nothing to do with the woman they are with. It doesn't mean a man thinks the woman he's with is lacking or looks bad. He wouldn't be with her if he didn't love her (for the most part). It's just how guys are because they are geared more towards sex as with us women, we are geared more towards emotions. I wouldn't put too much into it at this point. If he starts contacting women with big boobs or you suspect he might be cheating.. that's when you should start getting concerned.

 

I am big/average breasted (not massive but a full D cup naturally, no boob job) and sometimes it's not a good thing. I don't always know if men are attracted to me or my boobs. I will tell you this though, I have to fight hard to keep them lifted up and firmer. A big plus with having small boobs is that you don't have to worry so much about sagging when you're older. So be thankful you won't have that issue.

[tiredofvampires]

When I was with my last boyfriend, I was in my late thirties, he was in his early forties. Most of the porn he watched was of "barely legal" young girls -- girls 18, 19, 20. Which is the norm in porn, it's not some weird fetish.

 

Does that mean he wanted to BE with or have sex with girls in that age range? He wasn't dating or wanting sex with anyone that young.

 

Human beings are complex. For most, one trait alone isn't enough to make a person sexy, and that very same trait becomes sexy or less sexy depending on the whole package. You can't boil this down to a simple formula, like x is always sexy and y is always less sexy. Or if you could only cut and paste x onto y's body, you'd want to. It may even be that he can see big boobs and cleavage any day so they're an easy abstraction, but in reality the elegance of your smaller size coupled with the body he associates it with is more real to him, and therefore more sexy. Men (and people) can have a dominant fascination if you're just talking about impersonal ideas/images, until they're presented with what is in front of them and loving that for what it is.

 

I'm glad you aren't considering surgery. I watched a program on tv that had a slot about one women who felt she couldn't fit into the pumps she liked, since her feet were too wide -- so she amputated her baby toes. She "couldn't find things to wear" that she liked and wanted to fit them better, so she cut off parts of her body. Why would ANYONE be that much of a slave to inanimate objects? What's important in life?

 

Love the breasts you have. As another poster said, you will never have to worry about sagging like all girls with bigger breasts will some day, and they won't be painful when you run. And as for clothes, you can wear so many things that don't require bras straps -- I always look at the sleek runway models, none of whom has anything bigger than an A cup and I marvel at the irony of women who say they can't find clothes with small breasts when all the top fashions are modelled on beautiful women who are completely flat-chested. I know your post is only about pleasing your bf, but I'm just adding these reasons to celebrate having what you've got, for YOURSELF, so that you create your own opinion about having the size you have apart from his tastes, which like most people, can span a range and leave lots of room for variation in real life.

[Tetsuo_Shima]

Allow me to bring in some perspective. My mother used to be very insecure about her breast size even though she wasn't what I'd call small. Despite my brother and I telling her that her breasts weren't the problem, her self esteem was. She went ahead and got a very expensive and very poorly done breast implant surgery. At first she got a lot of attention from it. But it quickly became apparent people were only looking at her chest and not her. So as a result the problem remained. She still had bad self esteem and still hated herself. The breast came with their own problems. Stretched skin, the extra weight gave her back problems and now she has to see a chiropractor often. After a few years the implants began to leak in to her body and gave her many allergic reactions. she had them replaced and again 2 years later the same problem. After 10 years of none stop hell she had them removed and told me it was the best decision she'd made.

 

As a guy yes we look at girls with bigger assets. But that's not all we're looking at. I like girls with natural looking breasts. It looks weird when they don't look proportionate to the body. You'r bf says he loves you the way you are. Trust him on that. He's still with you and thats all that matters.

[Lorem Ipsum]

anyway i have very small boobs, not past an a cup.. and my boyfriend knows how insecure i feel about them

I got onto the topic of boob jobs because you feel insecure about them. Most people who are insecure about something want to change it. I always said I would get a nose job when I was younger but then someone I knew got one and... nope. Ain't gonna do that. If you have never even considered getting implants, then the only thing you can do is accept your boobs for what they are and embrace them as they are. If you continue to compare them to others, you're never going to be happy with them. At least your boyfriend hasn't pressured you to have surgery and accepts your boobs as they are. If he can, why can't you?

 

So this is your first relationship and you've fallen into a common trap the "I should be everything he ever needs and he'll never need to look at anyone else" trap. Fairy tales always end in "and they lived happily ever after" there's no commentary about how Sleeping Beauty was catching her prince with his naughty illuminated manuscripts in his solar and how she dealt with it. You can't be everything to another person, it just isn't possible and if it was, it would be extremely draining. He likes to look at photos of boobs. So what? If he had a fetish for women with red hair instead, would you beat yourself up this same way or reach for the dye bottle? Probably not. Do you ever see a man on the street and think he's attractive? Your boyfriend is with you, but he hasn't been struck blind. He's going to notice other women, it's whether or not he acts on that that is important. You're going to notice other men, it's whether or not you act on it that's important. Both of you are going to be approached by other people (whether you find those people attractive or not), it's whether or not you act on it that's important.

 

If you can get a handle on the reasons why you're insecure about it, you may one day even be able to tease him about it by pointing out women with really big chests in public and saying things like "Ow, that must really hurt! I bet she's got terrible back problems. I'm sooo glad that's never going to happen to me!" You can either choose to continue to see this as a Big Threat to My Future Happiness or try and see it as something he likes that's harmless fun. Unless he's turning down sex with you or time with you to stare at photos/videos of boobs, then it's not a problem.

[Doofus]

Men crave variety. If you were Jessica Rabbit, his folder would probably be filled with pictures of small chested athletic women. Men (and, as far as I can tell, women, too to some extent) are just wired that way. Don't worry, though. I've known plenty of straying men and none of them strayed just so they could be with a woman who had different sized breasts.

 

Your question made me think of Tim Minchin's 'Confessions'. It's on youtube and is probably NSFW (unless you're a longshoreman..). But there's a line in it in which he sings what most men can relate to: Rougly, that we love boobs so much that, by comparison, their shape or size dwindles (no pun intended...) in importance to virtually nothing.

[Mb1212]

This is probably a really frustrating situation and trust me I've been there. My ex boyfriend physically was everything I wanted in a man I truly couldn't have been more attracted to him but I always felt like If he could have changed things about me he would. So as you can see in my picture clearly I'm white and I would always find pictures/porn that he was watching that was all black or Latina girls and this automatically made me feel like I wasn't his ideal mate based on attraction and it drove me nuts. I also don't have very large boobs, I'm a full B cup but compared to his exes with DDs that's nothing. My ex was a butt/thigh man though and this I definitely have. It took a while but when we talked about he would explain that was the porn he was watching because their body types reminded him of me versus really stick thin white girls on porn. But it still bothered me a bit. You just need to try to accept that he loves you and he's attracted to you or he wouldn't be with you. But I do find the endless amounts of pictures of cleavage and woman with big breasts really strange so I would confront him about that.

[regular joe]

Mediacat, so other than the big boob porn on his computer. How is the rest of your relationship? Does he pay attention to you? Is there romance between the two of you? Is everything else good? If the rest of the relationship is good then stop worrying about it. If it's not then you need to find out if something more than big boob porn that is the problem.

[Mavh25]

If there's anything I've learnt it's never to compare yourself to a porn star...

It probably feels like he's thinking "wish my gf had boobs like those" but that's probably not the case atall. Don't let yourself think like that, the sex is great, he's obviously attracted to you, you have to remind yourself you're hot.

[DepthOfField]

The best looking boobs are the ones on the girl I love.

[regular joe]

The best looking boobs are the ones on the girl I love.

 

Very well said DepthOfField.

[chamachama]

Meh.... I'm an a$$ man myself

[pepsi71ocean]

ive dated girls with different sizes, the first girl i dated went from D to DD while we dated on her own (HS), then the next one was a C, the then I dated one with an A, and another with a B, now the current girlfriend i have has C cup.

 

To me i'll still look at porn with girls who have a variety of sizes for boobs, but to me its just entertainment, because i'll never leave my g/f to go date someone who had larger or smaller boobs, because to me there is more to a girl then her bra size.

[poetryandlyrics]

That's true with what one said about smaller breasts size would look good in older age in comparison to larger ones. Yours will look amazingly perky at the age of 65 while we lot would probably sag (and the amount of sagging varies). Be glad that your beauty in the breasts would be fine in old age, and that's a rare thing. Lol. I'm kind of jealous and always wanted size A or B myself. It seems more elegant to me, the ballerinas and other various of sports or dances usually are by small breasted women, giving the image of privilege. Well, to me.

 

I'm a size C myself, naturally, weight gain or loss, it stays the same. Funny though, my boyfriend is a boob man but with me, he gushes over my bottom instead. Guys are just visual though. We're cognitive. It's normal for guys to look at pictures, don't worry about it. If he wasn't attracted to you, he wouldn't have went out with you. Attractiveness is more (maybe not one of the top pirorities) of a pirority than us women. If you think about it, this is why eroticas are geared for us. Romance, emotions, the sweet talk, the rush, and all leading to the fantasy of sex. Guys? Porn for them are visual. Movies with different genres based on what they want to see for the visualness of sex. But as for you saying he does remark about an attractiveness of some girl in some movie... I doubt it isn't that elaborate such as gushing die hard on that Vito's breasts. But maybe you can just tell him you would prefer him to dial it down a bit for that, around you.

[Me82]

I think you are focusing on what you dislike. Im basically flat. , and this was NEVER a problem in my relationships. The same way you look at some handsome guy in the movie, he looks at half naked girl in the movie. She us nit an option for him. Out of his league. Was his choice to be with you. And I bet he doesn't look like a Calvin Klein model either, so start appreciating the positive things. If you keep annoyed about your small boobs I bet he'll leave you anytime soon. Guys like confident girls. Love yourself first. Accept the body you have, focus on the parts you like, and everything will be fine. I've learned. Even top models have small boobs. If you see look at paparazzi pics you'll notice, but if you look editorial magazines they photoshop.

[BigKK]

I like girls of a variety of shapes and sizes. I don't really have a type, and even when I thought I did, I would occasionally surprise myself that I would be attracted to a female that is the opposite of my "type."

 

When I am with a girl with large breasts, I will look at both large and small breasts. Skin color...all colors. Height...short,tall,medium, whatever.

 

I think that part of us are still animals and we can appreciate the many different shapes and sizes we come in.

 

 

Just because I am in a committed relationship doesn't mean I cannot appreciate another women's beauty even though what makes her beautiful can be the opposite of the person I am with. This also (for me) doesn't signify I am ready to leave the relationship and cheat.

 

 

 

I've been with girls with smaller breasts and absolutely loved them, what made me appreciate them even more is the fact that girl knows she looked good. We all have some insecurities, but if you make them a road block in a relationship or a big issue then I think it becomes a very unattractive trait.

[roger8roger]

boob size makes no difference to me. if anything I prefer small boobs. my wife is an a cup and I LOVE them. I still look at big boobs when I see them. Men are drawn to them. I also look at them when I masturbate sometimes, but other times I look at small boobs or butts or whatever. just because I look at and notice big boobs, does not mean I prefer them. your man is probably the same way.