Cognitive_Canine Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 I think my ex-FWB found out through the grape vine that I'm seeing someone I was really excited about. He probably found out through mutual friends. He's just been really grumpy towards me lately. At least through all of this I've finally stopped obsessing about him. I wish it didn't take a new flame to do that though. I wonder if that's healthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 I've been playing online games for about a year now with a guy I met a long time ago in high school. We didn't really talk in college and sort of reconnected. However, his girlfriend hates me. She used to be a part of my group of friends but we all had a falling out with her. She had a bad habit of trying to steal other friend's boyfriends, getting competitive about crushes (she told me one time that she felt like she "won" when she got her first boyfriend before me), and dated ex's (and did it secretly. Wasn't at least mature and talked about it with the friend). We and the rest of my girl friends stopped talking to her just after the freshman year of college. She is really mad that her boyfriend and I are online friends. We don't have each other's phone numbers, we've never attempted or expressed interest in meeting up in real life. We literally only talk about video games together and we play ONE game together. One day a few weeks ago, she got on his steam account pretending to be him. And told me that my flirting with him made "him" feel uncomfortable. Told me that I needed to cut it out because it was making him angry. I was flabbergasted. I have never in my life said anything that could even remotely be considered flirting with him. About two hours later he gets online and tells me that he's sorry and how awkward that was. He told me that I'm fine and he can't think of a time where I said anything inappropriate. He told me to refrain from messaging him because she reads his messages from me. 0.0 But, now things are weird. Whenever he starts talking to me, I have a fear in the back of my mind that it's actually her. So, I've been avoiding him because I'm extremely paranoid that I'm going to get yelled at again. What the heck... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 Omg could you imagine being that insecure? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 Omg could you imagine being that insecure? This was pretty much my face when I found out it was actually her pretending to be him. It was...violating... link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quirky Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 How are you gonna manage hanging out with adorable boy and not catch feelings?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 2, 2013 Author Share Posted August 2, 2013 How are you gonna manage hanging out with adorable boy and not catch feelings?? I'm already catching the feels. But I think he has feelings for me too. So yay. He might drive over to my place and spend the night. I just really feel like dressing up and looking nice for him. This is the first time I've thought that a guy just might be too hot for me. I kind of let myself go with my ex because I knew either way we weren't having sex. So, it depressed me a little less when I wasn't all dressed up and getting denied. I might go to the mall and pick up some new outfits. I've been eating a lot better and working out more since becoming single. I need a gym though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 4, 2013 Author Share Posted August 4, 2013 He told me that he liked me because I'm not a project. He said that just about every relationship he's gotten in has been because he felt pressured into it because the person needed him. He said I'm my own person and not exhausting to be around. I'm moving about 30 minutes further away from him. He told me right before we went to sleep that he would like to continue seeing me even though I was moving. He said that he felt like he was getting close to wanting something more serious. But then the next day, right before he left, he kind of put his foot in his mouth and wanted to talk about something that was stressing him: his other girlfriend (who has been pressuring him to be exclusive and been fighting with him). I felt kind of offput by this and told him that I didn't want to hear about other girls. I didn't care if he dated other girls but I wanted him to be with me mentally when he was with me physically. So, we kind of ended on a weird note. He texted me later and apologized. He said that he forgot his anti-anxiety meds at home when he came to visit and when he skips days, he gets weird and tends to just say whatever is on his mind (he mentioned worrying about leaving this at home earlier in the day and he did seem really stressed, so I think this was a valid excuse). So, meh. We made plans to go on a weekend trip. But, this incident has caused me to pull away from him just a little bit. I wasn't hurt that he wanted to talk about another girl, I was more insulted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetryandlyrics Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 Maybe he, in a weird logic, wanted to know your thoughts because he respected you (because as he said, you're your own person) and due to anxiety, just needed help and forgot about the lines. I'll give the benefit of the doubt in this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 4, 2013 Author Share Posted August 4, 2013 Maybe he, in a weird logic, wanted to know your thoughts because he respected you (because as he said, you're your own person) and due to anxiety, just needed help and forgot about the lines. I'll give the benefit of the doubt in this. I worried that I over reacted. It just hit me weird and I kind of got really cold towards him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 I think in a really weird way, he wanted to let you know he likes you best out if all the girls he is seeing. But I get it, when you are lying in bed, that's the last thing you want to hear about is his relationship with another woman. Sheesh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 5, 2013 Author Share Posted August 5, 2013 I need a new and inexpensive hobby. I have too much free time right now and it's driving me batty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted August 5, 2013 Share Posted August 5, 2013 I volunteer at an animal shelter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petite Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 Pottery class, crochet class (although yarn addiction can be bad lol), soup kitchen, animal shelter, bumming around the Internet, making YouTube videos, photography, drawing, painting, sewing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 13, 2013 Author Share Posted August 13, 2013 Well, I think I've gotten over my boy crazy stage. It was fun but I'm glad it's passed. =P Last weekend I stayed for the entire weekend. I was initially at a friend's party on Friday but he ended up coming. My friends really like him which is important to me. I think his musical taste impressed them which is rather difficult to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 13, 2013 Author Share Posted August 13, 2013 him: "ah, this is actually good" me: "why do you always sound surprised when I show you music?" him: "I've just never dated a girl with good taste" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 16, 2013 Author Share Posted August 16, 2013 I've dropped a jean size and a half since my ex moved out last May. I finally gave in and went clothes shopping since nothing fit anymore. Yay new stuff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 18, 2013 Author Share Posted August 18, 2013 So I went back through old text messages to find out when my first date was with him. I realized two things. 1) I put him on the backburner for nearly 45 days before giving him a second date. 2) I was in general just blowing him off and not responding like I should have been. Now I feel really bad. I really like him and I did this to him for so long =/. I have to apologize. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 who are you talking about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 18, 2013 Author Share Posted August 18, 2013 who are you talking about? The guy I've been really crazy about. I guess I should refer to him as something other than "he" as it'll get really confusing. I'll call him "B". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 ah! cool! i hope that goes well. call him and see if he wants to hang out this week? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 18, 2013 Author Share Posted August 18, 2013 ah! cool! i hope that goes well. call him and see if he wants to hang out this week? He came over on Friday and we spent Saturday together. Things have been going really well. Just looking back, I'm surprised he put up with my lack of availability for as long as he did. Just feeling guilty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 meh, don't feel guilty. if things are on track now, then good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted September 13, 2013 Author Share Posted September 13, 2013 One of my best and oldest friends tried to commit suicide by ingesting potassium cyanide. We don't know if he'll make it. Potassium cyanide is an extremely painful and terrifying way to die. I don't know what to do. I've just been sitting here sobbing into my computer. If he dies, he will be the third friend I have lost to suicide. I don't know if I should cancel my date tonight. I don't want to be alone but I don't want to have B have to deal with me like this. It's still early on in our relationship. I probably shouldn't charge him with taking care of me just yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted September 13, 2013 Author Share Posted September 13, 2013 Also, earlier this week I found out my sister cuts herself and is also suicidal. She's THIRTEEN. I had a LOOOOOOONG talk with her and I hope to god it helped. I know why she is suicidal, it's the same reason I was depressed/suicidal for so long - our mother is bipolar and abusive. I told her it's not her and that mom is just ing crazy. I wrote down my phone number so she could call me using the home phone or school phone if something terrible happened. This week has been terrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted September 13, 2013 Author Share Posted September 13, 2013 My ex is at the hospital. They aren't letting him inside but he is talking to family. Brain damage is inevitable if my friend lives. He has severe hemorrhaging in the back of his brain. Is it bad that my immediate thought is "maybe if he's altered a little bit, he won't try to kill himself again?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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