rich_1517 checking in

[rich_1517]

Hi Gang

its been three months since my last confession.

 

ok so the girl and i got back together. if you are trying to win someone back, you can only do a couple of things and those may be very hard to do.

 

this was my experience. i was devastated when she left. obsession, compulsion you name it. i couldnt think straight. seven months of hell. and i am still paying the bill.

 

i had decided that though i knew we had problems she was the one i wanted. i cant explain that except to say, that in the end i believe that our love was something worth saving.

 

and in the end so did she.

 

she dragged me through a lot. waffled, said we are just gfriends, no sex, traveled together, family gatherings, and still just friends. it took a two week trip away with her son which was fantastic and her saying one more time "i just see you as a friend" for me to say "thats it, let me go, i love you but this is getting cruel, i will call you when i am ready to be just your friend".

 

upon our return she said, "ok you convinced me, lets get back together"

 

romantic huh? im the prblem now, while she is still somewhat removed at times, she is being as supportive as she can. she pays attention to me and is trying to reassure me.

 

fact is i have been struggling so long to get grounded financially and carreer that i am insecure and lost much of my confidence. it scares me that i am so low sometimes. i try so hard to keep it together and find a way through this but i am scared she will walk away again unless i start making "real" momey and consistently.

 

but its really about me and accepting what i have lost and begin again. its just so hard, and i fear that pressure it puts on the relationship.

 

i know it should sound more cheery, the fact that i got the girl back, but it doesnt feel totally real yet, even though we have been together again for over two months.

 

suggestions>?

[trishcollins]

Hey Rich.

 

First, I am glad you are back with your ex. I know it's what most of us "think" we want, but few of us will ever get to experience.

 

I can certainly understand how you feel. It seems as if she is holding all the cards, and you sound like you are afraid to rock the boat. That is NO basis for a relationship. You need to talk about things with her and clear the air. Now is your chance. If you are not asking the questions because you are afraid of the answers, then you are starting off with a big problem. Make sure you are clear the air and let her know how you feel. If she really loves you, she will understand where you are coming from. Be strong and let her know it's important to you that she understands how you feel. I am sure things will work out fine.

 

As for not making enough money, I know that often finances are a big part of relationship downfalls, so I won't downplay the significance. You can't eat "love". Be truthful, make a plan and suggest how you can both work together to build a better financial picture. Just remember, that as long as you show her you are making an effort, that she can't fault you. If she does, then perhaps you need to rethink the relationship.

 

Once again, congrats.

[rich_1517]

wow trish, that was very concise and very very clear to address an emotional problem.

 

its funny how this board works for me, and im sure many others. stating the fears and problems bring them into the light and makes them less "overwhelming"