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Online Dating for the 2nd Time - A Journal


NorthDallas40

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Whoa - just called MISSY and she said she had to work on her resume and would call me back in an hour. So I called CINDY who immediately invited me over to see her new office... then said she just heard a gunshot and had to call 911!!

 

What the heck ladies!! Am I that horrible to talk to!?!?

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Wait...did Cindy say she heard the gunshot while she was on the phone with you inviting you over to her office?? Did she hang up on you? Very suspicious if you ask me. I hear "gunshots" all the time and never think to immediately call 911. 9 times out of 10 it's a car that backfired or something, lol.

 

What people will do to avoid the awkward conversation of saying they just aren't interested. Maybe she did hear a gunshot, who knows! I doubt it though...

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O ye of little faith!

 

CINDY called back* and we had a really fun 45-minute talk that concluded with me asking her out for this week. She said her schedule was really busy but she'd love to meet, so we're going to work details out on FB.

 

and

 

MISSY called back and we had a really fun 55-minute talk that concluded with me asking her out for this week. She said she was moving this week but that she'd be available to meet after this weekend, so we're going to work details out over email.

 

CINDY's definitely the more enthusiastic of the two (I think she was *hoping* I'd ask her out), but MISSY is super sweet as well... so yeah, I'm pretty stoked right now!

 

 

 

And I just disabled my OKC account for the moment. I have a feeling that CINDY will work out, and MISSY may too... so taking a break from OKC is probably a good idea for now.

 

*it was M-80s outside, not gunshots

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And I just disabled my OKC account for the moment. I have a feeling that CINDY will work out, and MISSY may too... so taking a break from OKC is probably a good idea for now.

 

I guess it's a catch-22, but wouldn't it be wiser to just leave the account up for now, lest you possibly scare away the new girl you like a lot (she may think you pulled it down because you're "too" into her already, she may think you found someone else, etc...)

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I guess it's a catch-22, but wouldn't it be wiser to just leave the account up for now, lest you possibly scare away the new girl you like a lot (she may think you pulled it down because you're "too" into her already, she may think you found someone else, etc...)

 

Ordinarily I'd agree 100%, but MISSY took down her OKC account weeks ago, so no harm there. And CINDY doesn't have an OKC account; I "met" her on FB years ago, only meeting her IRL this past weekend. I'd hate for her to see my OKC profile via a friend or something like that!

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ND40 - I just wanted to say thank you for the descriptions you give of WHY you like the women you like and what went well about the dates and phone calls with them. It's interesting to see what makes for a good date from the other side of the table so to speak. I think most guys don't even think about what made it good or don't care to think about it so thank you for that.

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Feeling confident after our convo last night, I messaged CANDY around 10:40am today asking her when she was free this week. Two hours later she replied:

 

"Hi - just want you to know I received this message and I'll follow-up with you again shortly!!! xo!!!"

I briefly acknowledged her reply (which I'm pretty sure is her standard cut-and-paste message for when she's busy), then six hours later I got:

 

"Hi! I'm headed to (concert). I don't know if I can do dinner this week but I'll know more by tomorrow. Sorry my schedule. Hope you're having a good day/night"

 

That was a disappointing reply after waiting so long, so part of me thinks she's blowing me off. But the other part of me realizes she does have a busy schedule, she's going out of town this weekend, and my invite was fairly last-minute. I didn't respond to that last message, but I'll do a casual follow up tomorrow morning.

 

But surprisingly at 7pm I got a text from MISSY, which I wasn't expecting at all.

 

"Guess who has an interview Friday..."

As I said previously, she delayed our phone call last night so she could work on her resume, which she later told me was for a job she really wanted. So I gotta say it was nice that she thought of me when she got the good news. I replied an hour later:

 

"Pardon my language but F**K YEAH! Congrats and lemme know how it goes. You are now forgiven for putting me on hold for an hour "

 

10 minutes later she replied:

 

"Haha! I'm a little nervous. I didn't expect a response so quickly. I'll keep you posted."

 

I didn't think we'd chat at all until next week, so the fact that she contacted me first was encouraging.

 

Then on my way in tonight while lugging a bunch of groceries, neighbor MICHELLE had her windows & door open and said hello as I got home. Dunno if I consider her any kind of prospect now, but she certainly is a nice welcome after work!

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ND40 - I just wanted to say thank you for the descriptions you give of WHY you like the women you like and what went well about the dates and phone calls with them. It's interesting to see what makes for a good date from the other side of the table so to speak. I think most guys don't even think about what made it good or don't care to think about it so thank you for that.

 

Aw, glad you found it helpful. Thanks!

 

I'll be honest and admit that physical attraction is VERY important to me, so that's kind of the first step. I find CINDY *very* attractive, probably moreso than any of the girls I've dated thus far; she and KATE are neck and neck as far as I'm concerned.

 

And not only does she have a natural beauty, but she's great at accentuating it with (subtle) makeup, accessories, and tasteful dress sense - that's a winning combination, especially when most of the other girls just showed up in jeans, flats and a basic shirt. Yawn.

 

But Cindy also has the right amount of conversational skills, common interests, confidence, enthusiasm, gentle flirtatiousness, and genuine interest in the conversation that most of the other girls lacked. Even WYNN seemed to have a bit of a wall up on our first couple of dates; I had no idea she was attracted. And girls like TESS, CARMEN & KAY were waaaaay too self-absorbed for me to consider them seriously no matter how attractive and/or smart they were.

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Oh, of course phyiscal attraction is important. It's step one for me as well. Obviously there is a bit of a buffer there or a range but I have to at least think the guy is somewhat attractive so I would never hold that against you or any guy really.

 

I think I might have a little bit of the "wall" problem you mentioned. I've had at least one guy tell me he wasn't sure I was interested at all....I guess my acting skills are better than I thought. I of course do not want to seem too eager but I guess I'm holding back a little too much. Geesh dating is hard work!

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Today I kept things in a holding pattern with some light contact:

 

- Rather than directly address our date, I messaged CINDY about hiking shoes (she hikes A LOT) and we had a good back & forth online. Still, I concluded things by saying I hadn't forgotten about giving her some restaurant options for Wednesday, and she responded very positively. I'm pretty sure we're good for that night.

 

Coincidentally, I jammed with a musician friend last night who knew her, so I asked his impressions. He hadn't dated her himself, but said she was really nice & enthusiastic, but always "hustling" for her job so he was kind of surprised she had any time to date at all.

 

On the negative side, yesterday her FB page had a pic of her ex visiting her office, which she captioned "Hooray! Our dearest friend/family member/work-buddy ____ visited our new space." I'm not really worried about it - nor is it any of my business - but still, it's a bummer. Go away, exes!

 

- I texted MISSY a joke about her job interview today... completely forgetting it wasn't until Friday, which she reminded me with a smiley. I made a joke back, saying I'll come up with another witticism tomorrow.

 

- Lastly, I asked KAY if she wanted to go on a "friendzone hike" this Saturday, and she said she might be able to do it as long as we wrap up by 2pm. She also added this bit of humor, which gives you an idea why I like her... but also why I don't want to more than friends!

 

"i'm kind of offended that you are doing such a good job of keeping me in the friendzone btw. I'm a f***ing temptress. don't you forget it nd40. even when describing flatulence and my period, the men can't stop running towards me fast enough."

:scramble:

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Did you plan your date with Cindy yet?

 

Yes! And CINDY was very excited about my plan. We also message a bit every day, so that's a good sign too. But until our Wednesday date, I won't be able to gauge whether she's "really into me" or just overly enthusiastic & friendly as her default behavior. It's fun to think we feel the same way about each other... but maddening not knowing for sure and preparing to be completely let down haha!

 

So are you just pursuing Cindy and Missy now and putting all online dating on hold for awhile?

 

Yes for now, but MISSY hasn't replied in a couple of days which is a bummer. Though to be fair, she moved this weekend and today was Father's day so being out of contact isn't surprising.

 

In more platonic news, I spent this past Friday with KAY at a play, a dinner, and her rehearsal & performance of a sketch at a comedy club. All was great til the end when her scooter wouldn't work! But after a call to AAA and a visit to a gas station she got going again but I didn't get home til 2:30am!

 

Then yesterday I went hiking with IRINA, who already likes CINDY for me but has the same doubts I do. BTW, IRINA's about to close her OKC account again because she's so frustrated with the lack of results!

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MISSY finally texted me today with a simple "Thurs?"

 

Unfortunately just an hour before, I had made plans for that night! So I suggested tomorrow or Friday.

 

She replied that she has out-of-town training (she didn't take the job she interviewed for on Friday - it was a $15K paycut!), so we should get together when she gets back... in two weeks!

 

I texted that I was really looking forward to meeting her this week, but no worries, she can just get in touch with me when she's back.

 

Of course I'll give her a call around that time just to prompt things, but I'm not holding my breath.

 

-------

 

So that leaves my date in two nights with CINDY that I'm really looking forward to.

 

But as (bad) luck would have it, my car key didn't work in my ignition tonight! It's been worn down for awhile and I don't have a spare... though I had a dupe made years ago, but it didn't work in the locks.

 

Luckily, I got a factory blank from my mechanic 6 months ago to do it right the next time, and they recommended a locksmith right near me.

 

So I'm crossing my fingers that he's open tomorrow and with the official factory blank, he'll be able to make a key that actually works.

 

Otherwise I'll be stuck having a coworker drive me to CINDY's place on Wednesday and have her drive us to the date. Assuming a coworker can even get me to her place on time!

 

Whatta way that would be to make a 2nd impression, huh?

 

So pray for me, ya'll! [-o

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Otherwise I'll be stuck having a coworker drive me to CINDY's place on Wednesday and have her drive us to the date. Assuming a coworker can even get me to her place on time!

 

Whatta way that would be to make a 2nd impression, huh?

 

No to all of the above.

 

Don't you have a valid credit card? Just rent a car if your key's not done in time. I'm sure there are car rentals in such a big city/area.

 

Hell, maybe even put some of that Missy date money into renting a better model car and go all out for the one you really want to hit it off with.

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Don't you have a valid credit card?

 

Well, as a sidenote for anyone who was following my post-breakup story - yeah, I have 4 valid credit cards... and when KATE broke up with me, they were all maxed out. Pathetic.

 

But in the 7 months since she dumped me, I've been smarter with my money and paid off over $6K of debt, paying off one card entirely! Pretty stoked about that

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What the heck were you buying for Kate?!

 

Nothing for her, just past debt I let go on too long and more unnecessary stuff I bought for myself, which was the problem.

 

If anything good came out of that breakup, it was that I FINALLY had a girl tell me to get my finances in order. My ex-wife never did, and neither did my other 2 gf's before Kate; they couldn't care less.

 

So I'm making damn sure that the NEXT girl won't have to tell me twice to shape up!

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Thank god for coworkers - mine picked me up this morning then drove me to a dealership so I could get a new key made. However, the key didn't work(!) so I had the car towed to my mechanic to get the ignition replaced. Luckily my coworker is also going to pick me up tomorrow so I can get my rental car in the morning (thanks for the tip nightdriver!)

 

And thank god for AAA - I got massive discounts on the tow and the rental!

 

So with this bad luck, I've been prepared all day for CINDY to flake on tomorrow night. To prompt her, I texted to see if I should pick her up at her home or office... and she responded within 10 minutes: "Come by the office so you can see it! See you tomorrrrrrrrowwwwww!!"

 

I'm taking that as a confirmation

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