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...really just want to spend more time with them.

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Hello, i'm Ben...just thought id say before i started. I know this girl and she is pretty much the light of my life. We have known each other for quite a long time now and are friends. I dont have much in life, there is no real point to my life, i have just left school and feel that i am stuck in a rut. Sometimes her presense in my life is the only thing that keeps me going.


Unfortuanately, we do have a sort of checkered past involving a clash of feelings and emotions. Basically, i told her how i really felt about her but she was only interested in being my friend at the time. I was too strong with the words i chose in telling her and it scared her and she backed off from me. We had no contact at all for ages. Eventually though we became friends again, she contacted me. Its not that i never tried to contact her she just wasnt ready to get over what had happened. But now its been a while since we made up and we are friends again, i say friends, and we are, we talk loads on MSN and stuff but the trouble is i hardly ever see her in person. And although an online chat does count as friendship it really just isnt the same as being with a friend in person. I do see her very occasionaly like around town and we share some mutual friends and sometimes come together due to that. But its nowhere near like it used to be when i could see her every day at school and we could talk properly then (she is still at school now).


To be honest i just miss her loads, i miss being around her because she makes me truly happy. I think about her all the time and just count the hours until i can maybe talk to her online. In case you havnt realised...i still have very strong feelings for her. I am however too scared and apprehensive to ask her to like do something together, even if it is with a group of people, not just us alone. I dont know how she would react. Bascially im scared she would say no. I would like to be able to phone her up and say "hey, do you want to do something this weekend" and if she were to say NO just brush it off as some people can do. But im just not like that, she means so much to me.


I dont know what she thinks of me now, like after our past whether she would be comfortable doing stuff with me. I would never 'come on' to her if she did not want me to, i never want to upset her again. And to be honest dont even know how to flirt with someone, ive never done it before. What i would really like is just to spend some quality time together as friends. If anyone understands what ive been going on about here, i was just wondering:


Is this normal? Do you think she would be prepared to restablish the active friendship that we lost? How do you go about asking someone to like hang out with you...it seems hard i've never done it before in this way. Thanks for reading.


Ben xx

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  • 1 month later...

hey well thats a pickle your in right now....all i have to say to you is that i think you should try to hang out with her and whenever your not with her chatting and such dont make it obvious that you like her....keep that on the DL (down low) then maybe she will become more comfortable with you again as friends. Once you build that up again try to flirt a little at a time with her and see her reaction to that.


Ive had boys who were my best friends all of a sudden tell me that they like me like you kinda did with her.....its really supprising! and then you really dont know how to act around them because you want to be their friend and they want something more......its hard to explain.


But really just try to be her friend for now then maybe she will want to hang out with you more and you will be able to see her again.....worship her from afar....if you know what i mean.


i hope this works out for you. 8)

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