Im more comfortable around him than my brother...

[Beec]

So he is paying attention to you, but not paying any attention to her.

 

What does that tell you? Make your move, or let him know that he can make a move.

 

But once you let him do something once, don't jsut let him do it all the time. Mkae him work for it once in a while. Hold back something, but that's for later. For now, get it done.

[BandNerd1001]

.

But once you let him do something once, don't jsut let him do it all the time. Mkae him work for it once in a while. Hold back something, but that's for later. For now, get it done.

 

explain, you probably have already though....but make him work for it?

[Beec]

Well, the idea is kind of like I explained here:

 

link removed

 

You want to make those who you want feel good, special, just because you are around. They should see you are being the person with whom they feel great. But you cannot try to amek them feel that all the time. You need to turn it on and off. If it is all the time, then it becomes taken for granted. If it comes and goes, they notice when it is on and love it. When it is off, they chase you to get more of it.

 

So the link talks about abuse, but it works even when you are not an abuser. Make him feel special, then withdraw, and he will seek you out to feel that way again. And you need to withdraw, and make him come looking for it. At first, you withdraw only a bit, then more and more, and make him work just a little at first, then make him work harder.

 

Don't always withdraw in the same way and vary how far you withdraw.

 

Do this well, and you'll keep him.

[BandNerd1001]

yes i understand what you are saying, but make him work harder, and make him work for it. I just can't seem to understand that part. I mean work for what??

[Jimbo10]

this one time...at marching band camp...................................................

[BandNerd1001]

?????

[Beec]

Make him work and make him wait.

 

If you walk up to him smile and pay him a compliment, something like he looks nice or you like his shirt, or he looks good in that shirt, or whatever. Watch what happens to his face? He will either look shocked or happy or something. That little compliment will give him something. It shows you appreciate and pay attention to him.

 

If you do that every single day, he will take it for granted, it will stop to have a lot of meaning, it won't make him happy to hear it, and he won't seek it out.

 

If you do it once and never do it again, then he might think it is a once off.

 

If you do it every Tuesday at the same time, then he will expect it on Tuesdays.

 

A compliment is just one thing or way in which you can give a person emotional fulfillment, make him feel special.

 

But giving someone this kind of feeling should be done in varying intervals, not all the time. You do it today, then three days from now, then the next day, then five days later, etc. But if he never tries to do it for you, then you don't do it back as often. Do it and see if he tries to do something in return. If he does something you like, do soemthing he likes. But don't do it right away. Take in what he did, enjoy it, let him know what you like, then picka time to return it. If he never does something to make you feel special, then don't do things for him very often. Make him work in this way.

[BandNerd1001]

Oh ok ... i got what you saying. Thats much better now. Thanks so much!