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She hardly talks to me!!!!!!


Josh G.

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Ok, Im not sure if this is a good place to post this, but I got a problem with my gf, She never talks to me, If we are alone we can talk, but were are hardly ever alone. If I go up and say Hi to her when shes with her friends, shell talk for a few seconds and then start talking to her friends and I ll just stand there like im invisible, today I went to the cafeteria and sat next to her, she hardly looked at me, barely talked to me unless I started talking to her, and then we she asked me if I could go to a hockey game after school, so I went for her, we went there, then she sat with all of ehr friends and ditched me , so I went and sat by my friend and we talked, he had to leave early so I sat there by myslef for a long time, and she kept walking by to go buy stuff, so she saw me and , Oh i couldnt believe it, she came and sat next to me. Then she said lets go over and sit with them (pointing at her friends) so we go over, and she went back to just talking with her friends again. It doesnt feel liek were really going out, and I dont want to invest anytime or anything into this if she cant even to talk to me, like I mean, her friends told me she has been waiting for me to ask her out for a year, so i dotn think its not that she doesnt like me, but I need some advice on what to do, what to talk to her about, how I should tell her how I feel, and maybe show her that I want to spend time with her, and talk to her, but not always be with "her" friends. Honestly, her friends are nice, but she stays in the middle of them liek they are her bodyguards and I dont really likt to talk to them that much. Oh and this morning, I went and said hi to her, she talked a bit, then went to her friends so i siad i will see in a liitle bit and went and talked to my friend, and all he rfrineds were snickering and laughing at her that i just left so I felt liek a jerk, but can you blame me?

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As you know, I don't have a gf yet. But when something like this happens, u just got to pull her aside and ask what's up. If you are assertive about it (not a pushover or too passive but not too aggressive either), she should tell you what's on her mind. Don't be mean or demanding for it, but get an answer out off her.

 

I know this relationship may be rather new for you, but if she gives you no kind of answer and just hangs with her friends OVER you all the time, you may really want to think about the relationship.

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I know it's difficult to do, but the next time you see her, tell her you have to talk to her about something. Get her away from her friends. Than talk to her! Ask her what her deal is, because she's acting strangely, like you've offended her or something.

 

If she doesn't improve how she acts around you, than I would find someone else to date. Quite frankly, she's behaving in a very silly way, and perhaps she's not mature enough to have a boyfriend yet.

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Actually, I just read your other post, too. It seems you and this girl are both shy because you have given yourselves the boyfriend/girlfriend title, but don't know what to do from that point.

 

You should try to invite her to do some things alone together, because I think you two are both getting embarrassed around your friends. Also, call her and make conversation, really make an effort to ask her about her day, her classes, interests, etc., and again - schedule some dates where it's just the two of you.

 

In short, you really need to get to know each other so you can be more comfortable when you're together.

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well, thanks for the help, I agree with both of you guys, Im going to talk to her about it, and then try to schedule another date thing, so we can get used to eachother, (shes really busy right now, shes not goin to be here this weekend). Me and her friend starting talking on msn, she said, she noticed it too, that things were "weird" with us and she also told her that but she said she didnt say much about it. So tomorrow Im goin to talk to her and see what is going on. OK I really need some advice here, I think this is very important so any feedback would be aweosme, ok, so here is the important thing, I want to take her somewhere as a "get to know eachtoehr better and get eachother used to eachother date" (and if there wasnt such thing, there is now) , but I have no idea what to do, her friend said, take her to another movie, but that would be impossible to get to know eachother becasue you dont really talk, I wanted to take her to a indoor roller blading place where the play music and have lights and stuff, and i thoght we could skate around together and talk, but she isnt into rollerblading at all, I asked her as a date and at first she said yes, but then she said 'can we do something else" (she said she couldnt skate good at all, but she probally just didnt want to go there). So I need a good creative thing we can do together, that wouLd be a special night, and we can do someting tgether and get things going really good? anybody have any ideas for this? thanks in advance, i really appreciate it, Josh G.

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Well, I think you're on the right track of taking her somewhere where you'll laugh together and have fun, because that always breaks the ice. I would suggest an amusement park, but that can be pretty expensive.

 

Some ideas...do you have any cool places to go hiking near where you live? You could always do a day date, and bring along a picnic lunch in your backpack or something. That's kind of unusual, and a good chance to talk while being physically active.

 

Does she like sports? Maybe a sport event, like a college game...

 

Museums are also cool to go to, and you can talk yet focus on the art around you, so you're not constantly searching for something to talk about. And then you can do lunch afterwards. Again, that's a day date.

 

Anyone else have any ideas?

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I agree that you should think of something where you'll be able to have good conversation, but it has to be something you'll both enjoy or it could get awkward at times.

 

I love day dates!

 

Josh, I don't know where you are in Ontario, but there's got to be plenty to do. There's usually all sorts of winter festivals and stuff going on around this time of year, or like Scout said, museums are great too. Hey, pretty soon you'll be able to go toboganing and build a snow man, that's always a good time.

 

Just a few ideas off the top of my head

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Well. I live in the southern part of Ontario, and Ill pretty much do anything for a date with her, I want to find out what she enjoys, I dont care wut the heck it is ill enjoy it with her, as long as we get to settle things between us. I dont really think she would be into the whole spending a date or day outside thing, shes not really into that stuff, and she would complain about it being cold outside (which I really cant blame her) She is kind of athletic, I would enjoy someting liek that, becasue I am athletic, and would consider my self fit, but I would rathe rher, really enjoy it, I was thinkin of maybe an activity we can do? thanks again for the help.

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It can't be that cold, you're in SoCal! Plus, she's athletic, so surely a light hike wouldn't wear her out. It wouldn't hurt to ask her, and if she rebuffs that offer, too, at this point I'd just say, well, i've made a few suggestions, do you have any?

 

Don't make this too difficult on yourself by immediately thinking she's going to reject everything you suggest. Confidence, my friend! You seem like an exceptional guy and any time spent with you - no matter what you're doing - would be a treat for her!

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Well today, she kinda did the same ting was talking to everybody else and just ignoring me, so i leaned over and said "are you mad at me or something" she said "no y?" and looked really confused, so I said "then wut is wrong, you never talk to me, u talk to everybody else, It feels like I have to bug you to talk to me" she looked really confused again and kinda hurt (I have no idea y, I just got that impression and it wasnt one of hose things where they intentally look a certain way) she said, Im sorry, I didnt think there was anthing wrong,

 

so then the teacher yelled at us for nto paying attention, so after class was done we went into the hall to talk, I told her the problem and how it made me feel, and how I felt liek i was invisible and she deosnt care, and that before we were going out we always talked and things were awesome, I then said, I really like you, but if you are uncomfortable, we can just be friends again, she said, no, but she is having some troubles in life right now and is kinda stressed and said she will try and correct it, she asked me if I was unhappy and didnt want to go out with her, I said, I am willing to work on it, and see how it goes. I told her that me and her should go do something and hang out besides school and get some time to talk, she agreed, and we worked things out, I hope everything is clear now and is back to normal, (wow, she really is confusing!)

 

but, I dont understand this, When she doesnt talk to me, I get so mad and I feel noting towards her, and I just want to tell her its over, but when she looks in my eyes, I just have to smile, I go crazy over her again, I noticed it, when I was talking to her about this, I made alot of eye contact and talked very calm, trying to really get her attention, And i could feel myself smiling and she was smiling back at me, and we just stared into eachothers eyes, I jsut wanted to kiss her, SO I really dont want to break up with her, And im willing to do anyting to make this work,

 

also, I dont want to bring her to my house, because I dont want her to meet my parents because I will for get embarrassed by them, but, should I ask her if she would like to come over and we can hangout? I would really prefer not too, but I was just wondering what would a girl think about this?

 

Like I said, we both like eachother but she is not acting like liek she cares, and jsut acts kind of nervous around me or something, also, one of my guy friend knows her very good, hes known her for years, he tells me I should ask her If can kiss her, he said that might get things going better, is this a good idea? thanks alot, Josh.

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