happy_snapper Posted October 4, 2013 Author Share Posted October 4, 2013 Been to see the other counsellor. I think it went well, she reckons we can work together ok. I think I'm going to carry on with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 I'm so happy for you Peter!=D> Good Luck....we are rooting for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Oh LOOK! You have posted 150 post!! I never, ever even noticed the # of posts on a thread before....had to really LOOK for it! ugh...i'm so dumb. So you picked the 'girl'....lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_snapper Posted October 5, 2013 Author Share Posted October 5, 2013 I haven't definitely decided yet, but I've discounted Jason just for basic scheduling reasons. But yeah of course I'm going to pick the girl. I'm a true ladies man after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_snapper Posted October 5, 2013 Author Share Posted October 5, 2013 Does anybody else ever feel like their entire lives are mostly filled with waiting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_snapper Posted October 9, 2013 Author Share Posted October 9, 2013 Not been having a very good couple of days. Nothing in particular, just a couple of slow days at work, far too much time to think. Emailed a couple of friends yesterday just to say hi. I'll let you know if any of them ever respond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_snapper Posted October 11, 2013 Author Share Posted October 11, 2013 Meeting the photography group for the first time in ages tomorrow. Should be good. First full counselling session on Monday, need to work out what I'm going to tell my parents I'm doing. They are convinced that there's nothing wrong with me and they will try to talk me out of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 eh....why do you have to tell them anything? You're a big boy! Plus, if you feel the need to talk to someone...you FEEL the need to TALK to SOMEONE! Do you tell your parents EVERYTHING? I mean, every time you walk out the door? That in itself is not right...lol. I mean, maybe if you were 15. Yay for the photography group. I just got back from kayaking for a couple of days. About 25 miles in 2 days. Tomorrow I'm going with the hiking group and kayaking about 12 miles. I'm the 'host' of this meetup. I hope it goes well.....erg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_snapper Posted October 12, 2013 Author Share Posted October 12, 2013 Tell me something I don't know. Haven't you read any of the journal? I've consistently failed to take any control or responsibility for anything for anything throughout my entire life, I'm a 10 year old in a 27 year old body. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 awww....sorry Peter! Didn't mean to rub salt in your wounds! That would be a good start to talking to your counselor....not having the need to tell your parents your every move.....or even better yet...if you DO tell them...do it with confidence, "THIS IS WHAT I"M DOING, MOM"....going to see someone to talk to them. I'm feeling overwhelmed." etc. etc. Yes, i have read your journal, and you know i am your biggest supporter! (((hugs))) Good luck seeing her, and hope you are a good fit! Keep us posted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weeblie Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 if you DO tell them...do it with confidence, "THIS IS WHAT I"M DOING, MOM"....going to see someone to talk to them. +1 Back when I lived with my parents, my mom was a bit of a control freak over my life. I was pretty miserable because I couldn't do a lot of things and had to ask permission first. I felt very lonely and trapped. This was when I was in my early 20s. I don't remember when this happened, but one day my dad took me aside and said, you don't have to ask permission anymore. If she asks what you're doing, just tell her you're going to be doing whatever and go. So I tried it out and for the most part, she was ok with it. No big battles, just a lot of questions for specifics, like when I'd be back and blah blah blah. It wasn't life changing, but it was the beginning of getting her separated from my life. I mean, she's still involved to a degree, but more like a viewer instead of a decision maker. I wish I had become independent sooner, but then, I don't think I was ready for it then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_snapper Posted October 13, 2013 Author Share Posted October 13, 2013 Yeah my mum is slightly controlling, but I think it's because the rest of the family is very lazy. Over the years she's had to take control in a number of ways and it just happens. She isn't too bad, she lets me do what I want, but she likes to know what's going on and she likes to give advice. I think the biggest problem is that I find it VERY hard to say no to her, or tell her that she's wrong. The thing at the moment is house hunting. I've been looking at houses in a particular section of the city we live in: close to work, not far from home (but far enough to keep them away most of the time), close to a few friends... She thinks I should be looking at places in some of the villages and small towns to the south of the city. They are cheaper and generally nicer, and in a number of ways those places are better than anywhere I could afford in the city. But I want to stay in the city. I don't want a 20 mile drive to work. I don't want to be in the middle of nowhere. It's not like she's forcing me, or telling me. She's being practical and pointing out that there are better properties for the same price further south. If she was buying a house she'd go there. I'm sticking to my guns on this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_snapper Posted October 14, 2013 Author Share Posted October 14, 2013 My god today's disappeared quick, busy busy busy. One of those days where at 12:30 I think "I'll have my lunch in a minute", then the next time I look at the clock it's 14:00 and I'm starving to death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_snapper Posted October 15, 2013 Author Share Posted October 15, 2013 Last night went well. Spoke a bit more in-depth about the way my fears take control and how I panic over tiny things. Talked about my family situation. Talked about work, perfectionism, stress and procrastination. She picked up on a few things in what I said which I hadn't noticed, like how I seem to have a desire for everything to be "correct" and "normal"; and some things I already knew but hadn't directly mentioned, like how I have a hard time saying good things about myself. So yeah, she seems capable of listening to me, being observant and linking things together. Early days, but I think this is going to be useful. She wants me to write a list of all the things I want to talk about. I may need to buy more paper. Got home, told mum about it when she asked. I left out the bit about my depression and social anxiety and implied that the focus was on the stress at work. Like somebody said, she doesn't need to know. She seemed interested, didn't try to talk me out of it. Nothing to worry about, as usual. It's such a hard situation to describe. I wouldn't have stopped if she'd disapproved, but I don't know how I would have dealt with it. Anyway that isn't a problem now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 I'm so happy for you Peter! I'm glad your mom didn't interrogate you, but then that may have been built MORE up in your head, then in reality! Mom's only want the best for you, and as you said, she thinks there is nothing wrong with you! I know, my counselor had me write lists to. Pretty hard while in my DEEP depression. She had me clean up ONE corner of my house, where i could sit and feel HAPPY! I had just been dumped my my bf (living mostly with him...and hated the crappy little house i got in the divorce) So i had a comfy chair by the 'heat' vent, and i would sit and well....mostly i was on HERE! lol Anyway, i'm glad it went well, and you will be going back! One thing you can tell her is: I'm very good at writing...and keep many people entertained with my wry wit,writing style and life as a boring nerd! Hugs. First step is the hardest! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_snapper Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 Thanks guys. It really does make me feel better. Continuing my routine of posting a picture on here each time I go out, here's one I took on Saturday: image removed The estate we visited has a disused water mill. The building isn't particularly pretty, but this little plant growing on the rusted-up water wheel was quite nice. Going out for another night walk with the group tonight. Just walking around town taking pictures. Hopefully the rain will stop before then, otherwise all my photos will be of the inside of a bar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 . Hopefully the rain will stop before then, otherwise all my photos will be of the inside of a bar. hahaha....maybe the inside of a bar.....and a cute girl! I love your pic! let me see if i have one. They aren't as beautiful as yours...lol....point and click. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_snapper Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 That's nice. Lovely reflections. hahaha....maybe the inside of a bar.....and a cute girl! You're obsessed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 I'm obsessed??? with cute girls...naw. Ya just never know when a cute girl might appear outta no where. I've given up on cute guys.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_snapper Posted October 18, 2013 Author Share Posted October 18, 2013 Mum and dad have been making plans. They're getting stuff together to redecorate all of the upstairs rooms in the next few weeks. Overheard them discussing what they're going to be able to store in my bedroom when I move out. They're like vultures when it comes to storage space. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_snapper Posted October 18, 2013 Author Share Posted October 18, 2013 Looking around zoopla, there's loads of properties around the area I'm currently living in. There was one on a street just around the corner, going for 110K. I know that street. The words "10-foot pole" come to mind. If somebody offered to pay me £110K to live there, I miiiiight think about it. It's when the estate agent hands you a stab vest before you start the viewing that you know you're in for a treat... I feel sorry for any poor fools who end up there (it will probably be bought by a developer and tuned into a couple of flats). Went to look at a place accross town yesterday, it seemed ok, but very small. I knew it was a small place, but the pictures made it look slightly bigger. I'm not looking for a big place, but good god, there wasn't much furniture there and all the space was already taken up. I'd like to be able to take my computer with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 HA! Apparently your parents are looking FORWARD to you moving out! Well....maybe not for you to leave specifically, but the room you occupy! lol What about the option your mom said, about being out of town a bit...places are nicer, and less costly! My folks (and bro, and sister's fam.) live 20 min. outta town. Not that our town is HUGE. It's called the Quad-cities. You can figure that out! And it doesn't bother them at all. The guy I'm friends with, also lives out just past them. Last night i was at his house. I made apple crisp. I wanted icecream. lol.....we had to drive 20 min. just to get icecream. At my house, the grocery store is a mile away and open 24 hrs. YAY! Pros and cons. Especially if gas is expensive. But i think of it this way, those people out in LA California have to drive an HOUR to work, and are in all these damn traffic jams! ugh Driving to work every morning can be relaxing. Give you time to think. Stress relief. Do you work way inside of town? (i guess i should be saying...the city. lol) Are their other job opportunities in other areas where the housing is better...and cheaper? I live in an area where the houses are WAAAY cheaper than other parts, cuz no one wants to live here...lol. BUT i love my home. (long story) And with the housing market crashing a few years ago, i got it for less than $100.000 thousand. Of course i don't know what lira is. We don't have the symbol on our keyboard! lol When i went to England about 7 years ago, i just know the money i brought over, was cut in HALF when i exchanged it to Your money....ugh. So things LOOKED the same. Like lets say eggs were 1.00 lira. I'd think...ok...$1.00 in american. WRONG. it was $2.00. Needless to say, i didn't spend much there! So if you ever came here....your money would be doubled! YAY! Anyway, back to houses. Over here they keep hammering in...Location, Location, Location. Well, if you can't afford it, who wants to be house poor, and can't afford to have any fun! Plus, are you the whole support for your family? Do you pay for your own groceries? Do you help with the house payment where you are now? Do you want to find a place to live...and then look for a new job? Or are you happy with your job now that your boss was so understanding and lightened your work load. Good to have a nice boss. Ugh. I've rambled enough. sorry. Here's a pic of my home. Ex husband was renting it when i met him. We bought it when we were getting married...for SUPER CHEAP in the 80's. Then he had re-financed it so damn much, that when we got divorced 20 years later, ugh we owed 4 TIMES what we had paid for it. Plus in 2007 when the houses market fell he owed more than what it was worth. ( that happened in the whole country....and foreclosures galore!) So my ex let it go into foreclosure, and my dad bought it for me ONE WEEK before he died. The bank lost 60 thousand on that deal! It's a huge victorian. I'll post a pic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_snapper Posted October 18, 2013 Author Share Posted October 18, 2013 I am starting to lean that way a bit now. There's a "large village" (I'm not sure what distinguishes a large village from a small town) about 15 miles away that I hadn't considered before... The timing's pretty good right now, because there's a government scheme just started to get the property market moving a bit. Basically I can apply to get part of my mortgage backed by the government and only have to have a 5% deposit. I can afford the repayments and I don't have any other debt to worry about, so it makes sense for people like me. It would take years for me to save enough for a regular deposit. Housing in the UK is pretty extortionate. It's a simple matter of population density and supply and demand. My budget is around £140,000 (about $260,000), I don't know what that would get you in the states, but over here that's a bit below the national average house price. In the South West where I am, the average is apparently £174,000, so I'm basically looking for a house that's below average. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_snapper Posted October 18, 2013 Author Share Posted October 18, 2013 lol lira... They're called pounds. Oh wait they use the same symbol. Probably something to do with why the unit of weight is abbreviated to lbs. I remember when it was $2 to £1, about the same time I discovered online shopping... happy days... It's about 1.6 now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Yeah, i was quite sad when i found out my $$ went only HALF as far over there....SAD DAYS! I got off the plane, put my money in the machine, and got half back! lol Wow, housing is expensive. I live in a cheap area in the midwest. My dad bought the house in the pic for $80,000 which is way cheap. But we bought it in 1988 for $35.000 from his mom. because it was in an area that was TERRIBLE. Now it is a Historic District. Price (after being worked) on was valued at $150.000 It's over 3,000 square feet. Needs a lot of work still....ugh. awww...I'd love to live in a 'village'......we don't have villages here. Just towns and cities...that i know of! And 15 minutes away is PERFECT! You don't want to be TOO close to fam! Way to go, i'm glad you are still looking at houses! As long as you have the money, it's fun to look! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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