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Is it time for inpatient mental health care?


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Okay I have written to this forum many times and I have met an answered prayer here on this forum but after six months of trying to heal from a two month little fling with a girl I still can't heal. I'm still grieving, I'm still in pain. I saw her on the road a couple of days ago, she smiled and waved, what did I do? Made eye contact for a split second, and then I turned and ignored her. Why? Because two months ago I e-mailed her and she hadn't returned an e-mail. So, that being said, I very stupidly checked the e-mail accounts that I know she knows and there was no e-mail there again this weekend. I mean absolutely nothing to her. Now I can't sleep. I'm crying and I'm hurting bad. I am convinced that this wound will be forever and maybe I'm weak or something for acting this way over something that lasted such a short time. She was unbelievably cruel to me over the summer tearing an already broken heart into a million more pieces by blaming things on me and being very condescending to me "you just can't get over it", sending her friend to bash me on my journal, etc. etc. (I have a Word Doc lining out the whole story, PM for it if you want it) and only calling for a truce after I exposed her lies.

 

Why can't I just snap out of it? What is wrong with me? Is it time for me to check into an inpatient mental health facility as my friend suggested? I don't know. I am really really terrified at the moment. I'm sorry you all have to read this, I'm desperate for help. I have been trying to heal after six months and move ahead, but I don't know why I can't. As I said before, I feel like I'm drowning but I'm miraculously still being held alive. I don't know how to make this pain go away. I'm sorry that all my posts seem repetitious and stuff. I just, I'm messed up I guess. Should I just go into a mental health facility?

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Hey you know what? It's perfectly normal to feel the way you are feeling right now. It doesn't matter that six months or even a year has gone by and you are still hurting because healing takes time. The more you love a person the harder it is going to be to move on.

 

Most ,if not all of us, have felt what you are feeling, so don't worry about what we will think or say--we can relate and that's why we are on here too. You're not the only one suffering and you shouldn't suffer alone, I'm glad you are back on here posting. Maybe you will find answers this time.

 

I don't know if a mental health place is a good idea. You might want to talk this over with your doctor.

 

Healing is going to take time. It's not really one of those things you can rush. Hang in there, it won't be easy but you will make it through.

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  • 2 years later...

Friend there in no doubt that divorce is painful. There is nothing that will quickly take the pain away, it is something that has to be worked through. If you are experiencing divorce, you are dealing with grief, with rejection, with having your heart broken. Taking away the pain would make you miss out on the growing process which is so necessary to bring about real healing. And you might risk getting into a rebound relationship.

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well, it was just a two month relationship right? i mean, i do think it's a bit unusual to be hung up on someone you dated for such a short time so long after, BUT at the same time i don't think it's abnormal.

 

inpateint care sounds a bit extreme, though. have you already tried therapy? i think just working through some of your feelings w/ a trained professional could really help... i think it's possible that this break up is bringing up other emotions related to other things in your life and maybe you're just attributing them all to her when it's really about so much more. obviously, i'm not a professional, that's just a guess, but i think that'd be my first step before doing anything else... they'll know the best treatment for you more than any of us do!

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Firstly, you should ask yourself if you're really in as bad shape now as you were at the time of the breakup; in particular, how did you feel just before you saw her on the street, and (presumably) hadn't had any contact with her for a while? As bad as after it? If not, then you are healing, just painfully slowly.

 

If you want practical options to help deal it, check out the thread in my sig, which has a number of possible suggestions to try before heading for the inpatient clinic.

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Hmmm, I agree somewhat with bear12 - 6 months of excruciating emotional pain over a 2 month relationship is not necessarily normal even if you were madly in love with someone - well, unless you are a character in an Isabelle Allende novel. However, it sounds like after the relationship ended, she tormented you online for awhile which means you were not allowed to start really healing - how long did that go on and how long has it been since you had contact with her (online or otherwise) prior to the car sighting?

 

If you are still freaking out about this every day AND you have not had any contact with her or torment by her and her friends for 60 days or more, then you might want to contact a therapist to talk about why you are unable to let go.

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You can try to talk to a therapist and get some suggestions from them.Sometimes people feel disappointed after see a therapist because they have too much expectation for therapists.The pain from our hearts can't be heal by pills.My therapist suggested me to do some exercise to reduce some pain and force on something esle so that you may forget your suffering.

 

Keep a optimistic attitude to your life and believe you can control your own life.If you have something more important than your ex in your life, try to work hard for it. Then you will force on yourself and overcome the pain.

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  • 1 year later...

It doesn't actually sound as though you are suffering from the kind of mental illness for which inpatient care would be helpful.

 

You may well find that therapy would be helpful, though, as it sounds as though your pain goes way, way deeper than just grieving from a short relationship. People who are grieving DO get admitted to mental health hospitals if they're suicidal, but, to be honest, it's not the best place for people in this predicament. It gives a bit of 'time out', but in many ways can be more disturbing than just carrying on with your life.

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"Normal" is such a relative, general, vague..useless word.

 

There are "ranges" of what is considered acceptable behavior in society..when you're well within that "bell curve" so to speak, then you're probably normal, as you get close to the extremes and even exceed them, you're "abnormal".

 

In your case...the heavy amount of grief you are currently experiencing over a relationship that lasted only 2 months is not normal.

 

You've got some issues. They have nothing to do with the girl in question.

 

Get someone to talk to about some of this stuff, find out what it is, why it's there, and how to deal. And do it soon.

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  • 5 months later...
  • 11 months later...

You will let go when you are ready-

Remember you are in control of your emotions.

I think outpatient therapy will be good- it will allow you to challenge your thoughts, explain to a neutral person what happened and how you feel. and he or she will be able to give you a guid to get you through this.

No one can say, what is normal, and what is not normal, everyone is different,everyone handles pain differently.

 

Hang in there, check out the therapy and come here, read other threads, it helps a lot.

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