really need advice

[funlovingguy]

So, I'll try to give the short story of part of my life. My mom left my dad when I was about 13, and it was really strange the way we left. We packed up in the middle of the night, without getting to say goodbye. We ended up going to my Mom's mom's house about two states away, so I did get to talk to my Dad after we got there. She left because my dad had alcohol/drug problems and she figured if she left, maybe he could clean up. well, he tried for the life of him for about 5 years going in and out of rehab. Then one day, while I was in college, I got the worst phone call of my life. My Dad had passed away during the night. I still don't know the exact reason why it happened. It has been a long road, and I am still healing, but now I find that my problem is sometimes I find myself trying to be normal, and sometimes I can't believe all the stuff I've gone through, and most if not all of my friends have no idea about my past. Well, getting to the ex-factor of this posting, I dated this girl for about a year, and we broke up about 6 months ago. I don't think I ever told her that she was the best thing to ever happen in my life. Her life was nothing like mine, and sometimes I really envied it. Both her parents didn't smoke or drink, they did stuff together as a family, and for me to be included in that made me feel like I've never felt before. Sometimes I felt really embarrassed about my family, or what was left; me, my mom, and my sister. We are really close, but it's amazing how much not having a Dad around changes the dynamic of a family atmosphere.

 

I am having such a hard time even after six months trying to get over this girl. In every way that I have examined, she was the one, or at least had all the qualities I could ever ask for in a girl I would want to be with forever. Thing is, I met this girl through a couple other mutual girlfriends that I was pretty close with, and now it seems that those friendships have been damaged by our breakup. I share many of the same friends as she does, and I feel there is a major road block because it doesn't feel the same when we are all in the same company. My other friends are put in a predictament when they want to hang out, if they want to hang out with me, or her...Sometimes it can't be both, and most of the time it's her. I feel so leftout sometimes. I know what you might say......go try to find new friends, well that seems like such a pile of BS. I don't know why I should have to go establish new friends, and my ex doesn't have to. I like the friends I have established up to this point, and I want those friendships to grow, however, I feel that they are diminishing. I don't know if this is something I should talk about with my ex or not. I have thought about it many times.

 

Also, the fact that my ex has established a new relationship is soooo hard. This new guy has stepped in, and become friends with all my friends, and sometimes I feel like my friends like him better than me. I hate feeling like I'm in competiton with this guy. Sometimes I evaluate the qualities I have seen in him, and I can't help but think that he is better than me, and it hurts soooo much, cuz my ex is so much better off now, and I am left to be miserable. All my friends go to hang out with my ex and her new BF, and I am left at home because it would obviously be awkward to go hang out with my ex and her new BF. I want so bad for things to be the way they used to be....not necessarily being back with my ex, but just to still have the friendships I had while I dated her. Well, this post is getting quite long, and I just needed to get some things off my chest. if you made it though reading all this, thanks.

[ktog143]

Hey there,

First off I just want to say that I am soooooo sorry for all that you've been through and if you ever need to talk, I'm here. Sure we don't know each other but with all that you've been through you definitely need someone there for you, and I am. Please keep being as strong as you have been, things will eventually look up for you I promise.

Secondly, I'm not exactly sure why the two of you broke up but did you ever try talking to her about it after? Or do the two of you not talk at all now? I don't know the details but all I can say is that she probably needs to know how you feel. I'm sorry I'm not helping much...I don't know the whole story as to what happened between the two of you, but hang in there and stay strong. Take care