camus154 Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Ok, fair enough. Although I would argue as long as you really want her to come back, you'll be waiting for her to do so, at least at some subconscious level. Anyway, have a good weekend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leftme Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 While she is with this other man you just disappear. It will not reduce your chances of getting her back. If she feels the need to talk to you, her new life - including the new man - clearly isn’t all she dreamed of when she left – there is still a small void. You probably should have made it clear that she chose to leave and therefore chose to cut all ties between you (not hinting friendship may be on the cards in the future). Only then would reality sink in that you are gone. Gone and not planning on being any part of her life anymore. I love my ex, but if she contacts me – while she’s with this other guy – I’ll make it clear that she cut the connection we had and as we’re no longer in a relationship I’m moving on. If she really feels she wants me (or in your case you) back, she won’t just let you go. She’ll chase. If she doesn’t chase... what have you lost? apart from a damaging sense of hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lambert Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 All this confusion is direct result of breaking NC. When you are not communicating, it's very clear: you are living your life and your ex is living their life. There is no need for contact. Unless the dumper has a revelation and decides they want to try to get you back. As the dumpee, you can't decide you want them back. They already know this from when they dumped you. Telling them again is not a reason to break NC. The dumper will only have the revelation that they want the dumpee back if they are given time and space to figure that out for themselves. Little contacts here and there or constant re-assurance that the dumpee is not moving on (whether it is in words or actions) will not convince the dumper that they are missing out on anything. Unfortunately, it's stupid but dumpers need to come to the decision all on their own and there's nothing you can do. It takes two to tango. And for the love of Pete, if your ex has someone new in their life, you should avoid them like the plague-- NO EXCEPTIONS-- dying family member, devastating fire and pestilence, natural disaster, a MIETOR could be headed for their house... it doesn't matter. You are the ex and anything you do looks desperate. When you are heart broken, we all think our "ex" was different, we were so special, it was forever, the truth is... we are all the same. Dumped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
needygf Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 When you are heart broken, we all think our "ex" was different, we were so special, it was forever, the truth is... we are all the same. Dumped. Ouch, the ugly truth. Sadly I can't disagree with that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuDe Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 Ok, fair enough. Although I would argue as long as you really want her to come back, you'll be waiting for her to do so, at least at some subconscious level. Anyway, have a good weekend! Nah man, in fact I'm moving on up in life. I just started a really awesome job, paying off my student loans, new car. Of course, it'd be that much greater if she was here though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuDe Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 I did tell her that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuDe Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 I see it a little differently. Ignoring your ex if they try to talk to you sends much more of a message of not moving on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robot20 Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 I see it a little differently. Ignoring your ex if they try to talk to you sends much more of a message of not moving on Silence speaks in volumes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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