Deejmonster Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 Thread followed from here: I started something a while ago and never continued it. However I frequently stroll through the journals section because I love reading about the journey's through peoples lives like characters in a book. It intrigues me to see what happens to people in their journey through life and I figured I would share some of my own life. As of now, its 5:10... I am contemplating all the work that I have to do around my apartment but I casually disregard it and I will probably put everything off for one more day. I finally found the courage to break it off with a girl I have been kinda seeing for the last month or so and as crappy as it seems I am kinda happy to be back to where I usually am. Her and I had a history and I took her back after months of not hearing from her only to have her play games with me again. I started my application for grad school this morning. I am very stressed because i want to take charge in my life but kinda goofed off through college and didn't exactly wind up with an amazing GPA... and now I am losing hope that I will get into a program that I really would like to do. My birthday is in a little over a week. I am going home to see my family next weekend and I have plans to go out with my one and only friend on the 9th. Its better than last year thats for sure. I was doing really well with getting back into shape and I really kinda lost the momentum and I would really like to get back up on the horse and see how far I can go.. however I am still in a pit right now and I think its going to take a while for me to bounce back. Link to comment
Deejmonster Posted October 1, 2012 Author Share Posted October 1, 2012 Another day another dollar. I am freezing right now listening to a coworker banter on the phone while listening to Howard Stern... I really dislike this man's show. There is nothing funny or entertaining about it. Not to mention that I am freezing. I would do anything to drink a pot of coffee right now and sit and read an amazing book instead of working. Such is life I guess. Link to comment
Deejmonster Posted October 1, 2012 Author Share Posted October 1, 2012 I love salami. I have ever since I was a kid. Its so wonderful. Work went by rather easily today. Went to get a hair cut and the lady was really rough with the clippers. I hate that I can be so picky about the way people cut my hair. I have a date Wednesday night with another girl I have been seeing. I am really excited but I know she isn't really looking to move into a relationship fast. I really can see myself liking her though. Link to comment
Deejmonster Posted October 2, 2012 Author Share Posted October 2, 2012 Its rainy today but luckily work is easy again today. I didn't get picked for a 3 week contract in Connecticut. As much as it would have really been cool to see another part of the US and do some adventuring, I am kinda glad it wasn't me. I don't know why but I am slightly relieved. I am very excited for tomorrow night, I really need it to go well. I am also talking to a second girl off of link removed who seems like a nice fit. I am going to take it slow and see where it goes. Link to comment
Deejmonster Posted October 4, 2012 Author Share Posted October 4, 2012 Well after last night I am not sure where I stand with a lot of things. The date went well... very well I thought, but today brings some uncertainty. I am slowly learning a lesson of what I will tolerate and what I will not. Lesson #2 is that when dating, date more than one person if you can. Always have a back up plan for when things fail. Its amazing how emotions can change in the blink of an instant, being so high one moment and in the matter of minutes being burried so deep that you can't see your way out of things. Sometimes I ask myself if there is going to be a moment when I am finally allowed to shine and not be crapped all over from other people. Today is one of those days. Link to comment
Deejmonster Posted October 4, 2012 Author Share Posted October 4, 2012 Im leaving to see my family tomorrow after I get off work. I spoke to my mom this evening about all the feelings I have had inside of me.. she seems to think that I am just fine and that my life is actually going in the right direction. She told me that I want too much to happen too soon and that its never going to work like that. She also told me that there is no real way to stop being impatient, its something that I always have been... and the only way to help myself is to find something to take my mind off of it. Thanks mom. She is such a strong woman. I really wonder sometimes if she was ever in my shoes and how she overcame such obstacles. On a side note, I got the information I needed in order to start seeing a therapist. I am actually proud of myself for moving forward and doing it. I am kind of excited to let myself do this. I have done it once before and I remember that it really changed my outlook on things... sometimes we just get derailed and need help getting back on course. I talked to E for a moment today. I wanted to tell her so much about how I feel towards her but I doubt it would matter. I have more important issues in my life that I need to figure out right now. I can never be happy with her until I am happy with myself. My mood is going to change about 50 more times tonight and I am prepared, but I have to put an end to this constant worrying. My birthday is in 5 days. J and I are getting together to do something. He is a cool friend. I made a date with B for Monday, I feel bad for putting her on the back burner.. and I think that I should give her an honest chance instead of waiting around for E. Time to practice what I preach. Link to comment
Deejmonster Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 Life is good today. At home with the family is always a nice change of pace. Everyday life seems to get a little easier. Still pretty hurt over being played with but I am resliant. 3 days until my birthday. I got 150 dollars from my parents. I am actually quite excited. I am not sure what to do with it. Link to comment
Deejmonster Posted January 15, 2017 Author Share Posted January 15, 2017 So I am back and I don't know how long I will be staying this time... I read through a lot of my old threads and cringed at how I used to act in the dating world. Experience will do you wonders. I broke up with M this week. I'm thinking about her a lot but I know it was for the best; we were just emotionally incompatible and I saw a lot of issues in her that would wreck us. I have the new urge to get back into the gym, partially because of M's existence but I also feel that it is important for my mental health. I don't see it being a struggle anymore so this time the weight should stay off. I noticed that I posted about my kitten a while back... she's gone. I have since adopted a goldendoodle puppy named Georgie who is testing my patience lately. I no longer work for the same company and that was a massive boost in the mental health department. My anxiety disorder that I thought was depression is also not doing so bad. I went on AD's last year and it helped but the side effects were too damaging. I now do cognitive behavioral therapy with myself when I have a flare up but mostly it's just reminding myself that things are not as bad as I think they are. It's working for the most part. As for dating, I think that I am done for a little while. The breakup with M wasn't too damaging. I'm hurt and frustrated but it wasn't going to work. I'm just not ready to try again just yet. Stay tuned! Link to comment
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