Ex BF Texts Out of the Blue...

[cindy58]

Would like some ENAers ideas on this experience.

 

My ex boyfriend of 4 years and I had a horrible relationship. We fought often, broke up often, and there was no trust. After a mutual breaking up, a few months later I discovered he was dating someone I had worked with and thought I had a somewhat friendship with and someone I trusted with information about our relationship at the time. This did hurt my feelings initially, but I had moved on so I eventually forgot about it. Looking back, I get the feeling he knew he was going to go after or try to pursue her while we were together as I had seen him liking and commenting on her pics on facebook only 2 weeks after we broke up and they had met and saw each other weekly for work about 2 months before we broke up. Plus, I don't think he would have had the balls to let the relationship go and probably would have fought harder to stay together if he didn't think he had someone else to turn to. Anyway, they apparently didn't last long about 6 months and she cut him out so I'm not sure what he did to make her so angry.

 

Then about 2 weeks later I heard he started seeing a new girl who was 9 years younger than him and just out of high school. Perhaps sometime around the time before he officially made her his girlfriend or perhaps it was already after that point, he contacted me and we had a conversation for the first time since the day we broke up (this had to be about 10 months post BU), and he texted me basically reminiscing about a holiday (because it was the day of this holiday). We had a tradition of going to an event every year we were together to celebrate it. I was very short with him and the texting didn't last long and I never said anything back about missing our time at this event together or anything about our relationship. In the texts, he said that it would be weird not going to the event again on that day now that the holiday was here and he told me how he enjoyed when we went and thanked me for it. I basically ended the convo saying thanks for thinking of me so he didn't say much after that and left it alone.

 

So, then I heard from mutual friends that he was still dating that young girl and they were very lovey-dovey all the time and public about their relationship. She seemed great for him as she was very naive and they seemed happy. Anyway, while they were dating, he texted me happy birthday when it came around and so I returned the sentiment when his birthday came around not long after mine, but nothing else was said both times. It shocked me that he texted me happy birthday because the birthday I had after our break up, he ignored and did not contact me at all so I didn't acknowledge his birthday either when it came around last year.

 

Anyway, recently he texted me again out of the blue. It's close to two years since we broke up. It was a small paragraph telling me about this singer that he must have remember me liking (not really my favorite or anyone that I would go bonkers over) was performing somewhere near our hometown. I thanked him for the info and then he asked me how I've been. That started a short conversation where he let me know what he was up to career-wise and asked me if I was still pursuing my chosen career path. He told me to continue to pursue it and told me that I'm great. I had mentioned that I took a trip this past summer and he became very interested in that and so I made sure to let him know that it was to my current bf's hometown to meet his family. He acted like that was awesome and so I asked him if he went anywhere fun this summer. He told me some places and I acted interested, but then he seemed to have nothing else to say and so I told him I had to head out and it was good talking to him and glad to hear he was doing good. And his response was simple and short- he just said you too!

 

One of the trips he told me about, I THINK but am not entirely positive since I am basing off a picture a friend showed me, was with this new girlfriend, but when he said he went to this place for a wedding, he didn't mention going with her. Well, he didn't mention her period. And he could have found an opportunity to do so if he wanted to just like I made sure to do.

 

Then the other day, I found out from mutual friends that he broke up with the young girlfriend and told her he was in love with his best friend (this other girl that he became very close with in the last year) and now he is in a relationship with this girl. They may have gotten together about 2 months ago maybe even 3. So, I'm not sure what to think of this random contact now that I know he is in a relationship with this new girl. Friends say they seem in love. Also, I'd like to add that I actually know the new girlfriend. I met her through my boyfriend back in the day while we were all working together. I had heard from friends while he was still dating the youngster, that she had become good friends with my ex but she would talk behind his back saying he has no life and doesn't do anything.

 

I'm confused? Was him texting me purely to let me know about the singer? I am having trouble believing it was.

 

Input? Ideas? Please let me know ENAers if you've got a clue!

[RedDress]

So... can I ask you a question? Do you want to get back with him? Would you, if he asked? I just ask because you are spending a lot of time thinking and analyzing his behaviour...

[cindy58]

I'd like some ENAers input please. I haven't had responses on what people think. Thank you

[cindy58]

Would still like input. Anyone?

[DanDee]

Hard to say what he's thinking to be honest. Maybe he just wanted to see if you'd reply, see if he still had your interest (which seems to be the case). Or maybe he felt bad about the way he acted when he was with you and he wanted to come accross as a good guy to you in order to make himself feel better for his past mistakes. In all honesty though, I'm not sure why you care so much considering the relationship was a bad one and that you have a new boyfriend.

[markie6]

Best guess .... He was reminded of you , the bad things that you used to remind him off have dissipated and he is left with fond memories. He could be having a John Cusack moment ( Hi fidelity ) and analyzing old relationships... and bamm... he's on the phone like the ending never happened.

 

I have had loads of these over the years ( even once pondered doing 1 myself when FB arrived) but have always let sleeping dogs lie ( no pun intended )

 

So feeler message , maybe finding out what happened ? Guilt trip ... checking if he damaged you , being happy that you replied nicely and he can now put his mind to rest , booty call .. hell I don't know... but always a possibility if you were single..etc

 

they are all guesses based on what has happened to me...