Should I leave him already?

[vix8]

Long story short. My boyfriend left me, called me back in a an hour and said he made a mistake. Then we went on a break. Ever since, things haven't been the same. Currently, he says we are together, but he won't label us as official. He wants to be committed to me and wants me to stay committed to him. I never see him anymore... barely talk to him either because everyday after school he is with his friends getting high. It's like that became more important than me. All I get is a text saying good morning (I had to fight for that), and then I get a text saying I'm home, a phone call if I ask, and a goodnight I love you text. And we hang out like once a week and have a blast together. I know for a fact he isn't seeing another girl, it's not his nature, and trust me he would rather get high. I feel like he needs more time or space to be away from me.. but on my end it's so hard because I want to see him more. So we end up fighting. I cry literally everyday about this. I run to him and call him and ask him why he isn't texting me or calling me or asking to hang out. And he just says, because I'm with my friends. The other night I don't think I've cried so hard in front of him before. He came to see me for a few hours and I didn't feel like his girlfriend, it felt awkward. He was freaking out over how I was feeling. And I told him I think it's too late, I've asked you a million times to pay more attention to me and that I feel like you taking me for granted, and now I just don't feel the same. I cut off sex, I cut off I love you's.. because at least if he's still staying with me without that, he obviously still loves me. And I know he loves me... but whatever he is going through is confusing me because I sit and wait for him to make me feel special again, and he just doesn't. I gave him one more chance that night I cried to him, I threatened him that I'm going to start keeping my options open. It's been three days, and he's been doing everything I asked and wanted him to do.. but I still feel empty. I get my good mornings and stuff.. but there is 0 conversation because he's so preoccupied with whatever he is doing. I think I should leave... but I love him too much... and at the same time, I know it sounds weird, but I don't want him to be hurt, because if I leave him, I know he's going to think of himself as the biggest failure and smoke more weed then he already does. I feel stuck. How do I leave someone that I care so deeply for, knowing that our break-up will cause great grief in his life? I know my life should be more important, but I can't help but think of him as well.

[ToF]

Yes, of course you should leave him.

[dasilver]

You asked.............How do I leave someone that I care so deeply for, knowing that our break-up will cause great grief in his life?

 

My answer...........If the break up would cause such great grief in his life then why is he doing everything in his power to make sure that it happens?

 

He's not spending time with you......he doesn't even want to. He would rather be with his friends (he even told you that).

 

You've been pleading with him to give you more of his time...even crying in front of him....and yet still he doesn't want to.

 

It seems the break-up would cause more of a great grief in your life than his....He...my dear only wants you around when HE wants you around.

 

Life is too short....go and find someone who wants to be with you.

 

Someone that you don't have to cry your eyes out to get him to spend time with you.

 

I understand from your post that you care deeply about him....but you need to care more deeply about yourself.

[Sayuri7]

You should leave.

 

This relationship is headed nowhere good. If you have had to `fight` for so much as a `good morning` text, then his level of interest in you is rock-bottom low.

 

Add to that the addiction he`s gotten himself into, and this is just headed to the pits. Save yourself the trouble and find a healthy boyfriend who`s actually excited to communicate with you every day.

[vix8]

Thanks guys. My therapist yesterday even told me to leave him. I was told to write down what triggered my depression every time.. turns out it's all to do with him. I guess time will heal after the break up. I'm leaving him tonight after school.. if he even comes to see me that is.

[PaintWithLight]

The fact that you indicate that you are guilt tripping that he will only blame you and smoke more weed shows how unhealthy things are between you. Those are his bad decisions not yours!! You deserve better!