It's going to be a horrible weekend. :(

[wai]

Hi ENA,

 

The guy I'm dating, I posted about it before. We broke up for a while then we got back together. We've been dating for about 2 months now. We see each other every weekend.

 

We're both 27. He's still in college because he couldn't afford to go to college before. He works 40 hours a week. He recently got laid off from his work because the guy has to close his shop. It's been a week he doesn't have a job and he told me not to be worried because part time jobs are easy to find.

 

He's also seeing a lawyer for his green card process. He needs to get it done in 2 weeks or whatever. He's been seeing the lawyer every other day after 5:00pm. Lately he's been saying he's busy. He always say he'll call me around this time and then he call me an hour later. As punishment, I text him and say I'm off to bed while he's in the subway when he cannot receive my text. When he calls, I wouldn't pick up his call cuz I'm upset.

 

We see each other every weekend. Now this weekend, I thought he would come on Friday evening that's what we normally do. Then he said he might have to see the lawyer, so he'll come on Saturday morning. So I told him, I can't see him this weekend cuz I need to prepare for my job interview on Monday and I need to do house chore too. I told him that I will see him next weekend. He seems upset but didn't make a mess out of it.

 

But the thing is, I won't be busy this weekend and it's gonna be a really boring one becuase I just moved here and I have no friends to hang out with. What should I do? I been drinking after work these days alone cuz I feel so lonely and I can't sleep. I dont' wanna get addicted. Please someone give me advice.

[camus154]

Stop playing games with him. He's going to college, he just got laid off, and he's struggling with legal issues to boot. Your response to this? Passive-aggressive moves because you're upset he doesn't have more time.

 

You're the one who broke off the weekend plans together out of more games--now you want advice because you'll be bored?

[wai]

Stop playing games with him. He's going to college, he just got laid off, and he's struggling with legal issues to boot. Your response to this? Passive-aggressive moves because you're upset he doesn't have more time.

 

You're the one who broke off the weekend plans together out of more games--now you want advice because you'll be bored?

 

well I forgot to metioned, he said the lawyer lady is hot blah blah blah... Then I went I know right I think my landlord is hot too. Then he said I'm just making you jealous and he was mad because he didn't like my response. smh. Who knows if he's really planning to go see the lawyer. He's been acting weird lately.

[camus154]

Has it crossed your mind that maybe this guy isn't worth the effort? Isn't this the same guy who was in love with an ex? Who broke up with you?

[wai]

Has it crossed your mind that maybe this guy isn't worth the effort? Isn't this the same guy who was in love with an ex? Who broke up with you?

 

I broke up with him. He didn't break up with me. Plus, in the back of my mind, I believe that he loves me. He cook for me, get up like 5 in the morning make breakfast for me cuz I'm hungry. He bought me a scarf that I have been planning to buy for a long time and suprised me. He does all kinds of sweet stuff to impress me.

[camus154]

Well, you obviously decided to take him back.

 

It's been 2 months now and you're playing passive-aggressive games with him, while he's telling you how hot his lawyer is. I don't know about you, but for me that would be a sign that, despite giving it another try, things aren't going as expected.

[wai]

Well, you obviously decided to take him back.

 

It's been 2 months now and you're playing passive-aggressive games with him, while he's telling you how hot his lawyer is. I don't know about you, but for me that would be a sign that, despite giving it another try, things aren't going as expected.

 

 

This is how I see the situation. He tells me how hot the lawyer is because he doesn't really like her that way. Otherwise, why would he tell me that? His purpose is to make me jealous that he'll get reassurance that I care. Every relationship has their ups and downs. I can't expect everything to go smoothly. We're still getting to know each other, so we both play games a little.

[camus154]

This is how I see the situation. He tells me how hot the lawyer is because he doesn't really like her that way. Otherwise, why would he tell me that? His purpose is to make me jealous that he'll get reassurance that I care. Every relationship has their ups and downs. I can't expect everything to go smoothly. We're still getting to know each other, so we both play games a little.

 

Ok. So what's the problem again?

[wai]

Ok. So what's the problem again?

 

I'm explaining how I see the situation. You don't have to be an ass about it.

[camus154]

I'm explaining how I see the situation. You don't have to be an ass about it.

 

Lol, I'm not being an ass about it. I'm trying to get you to think.

 

Look, this happens all the time. People are unhappy in a relationship, they break up. Then they get lonely, they get back together. Then problems start surfacing all over again, but when you point that out, they start defending the relationship. So you're back at square one.

 

This post is about how horrible your weekend is going to be, because you basically lied to your boyfriend about being busy and now you're unhappy about being stuck with nothing to do. Think about it.

[wai]

Lol, I'm not being an ass about it. I'm trying to get you to think.

 

Look, this happens all the time. People are unhappy in a relationship, they break up. Then they get lonely, they get back together. Then problems start surfacing all over again, but when you point that out, they start defending the relationship. So you're back at square one.

 

This post is about how horrible your weekend is going to be, because you basically lied to your boyfriend about being busy and now you're unhappy about being stuck with nothing to do. Think about it.

 

 

I cant think straight really. That's why I'm here asking for everyone's opinion. Plus I don't wanna break this relationship because I'm needy. I know I'm needy. And I wanna know if everyone thinks the same.

[camus154]

Then perhaps that's what you can do this weekend. NYC isn't too far from you, right? Maybe go out to the park with a cup of coffee, a blanket, and a pad of paper. Jot down your thoughts. Take advantage of your alone time to seek some answers.

[Furbys]

You both need to stop playing mind games, that is not what a relationship is about. You both purposely try make the other think, make them jealous and lie. That is not a relationship that is being childish.

 

It may seem harsh but it is stupid. If you want to see him then dont lie to him by saying you are busy when you are not then complain about being bored. You brought that on yourself. If you two are just going to play mind games all the time then just break up, you are suppose to be adults not children.

[wai]

You both need to stop playing mind games, that is not what a relationship is about. You both purposely try make the other think, make them jealous and lie. That is not a relationship that is being childish.

 

It may seem harsh but it is stupid. If you want to see him then dont lie to him by saying you are busy when you are not then complain about being bored. You brought that on yourself. If you two are just going to play mind games all the time then just break up, you are suppose to be adults not children.

 

 

Thank you. I will sit down and talk to him about it.

[Angler]

We're both 27.

 

Really?

 

 

I text him and say I'm off to bed while he's in the subway when he cannot receive my text. When he calls, I wouldn't pick up his call cuz I'm upset.

 

I told him, I can't see him this weekend cuz I need to prepare for my job interview on Monday and I need to do house chore too.

 

But the thing is, I won't be busy this weekend and it's gonna be a really boring one becuase I just moved here and I have no friends to hang out with.

 

Are you sure you're 27?

 

What should I do?

 

Start acting your age.