College has made me see my girlfriend differently

[OneGalGuy]

Background info: My girlfriend of 10 months and I just moved into college a couple days ago. To be completely honest, the transition for her hasnt been too easy for her. Her Christian beliefs clash with the whole atmosphere of college (partying, alcohol, sex etc). Out of respect for her beliefs, I dont party or do any of that either because I know she absolutely hates it. Because of this, Im often left in my dorm room alone because all of my friends went to frat parties. If I wasnt with her would I party? Yes.

 

Since my girlfriend doest believe in anything beyond kissing before marriage (even thats very rare), its also makes me a little jealous when my suitemate/best friend brings girls into room. Initially, my girlfriend told me we shouldnt see each other that much because we should make other friends, but Ive seen her everyday so far because she hasnt been able to find common ground with a lot of the students. She did go to a Christian Fellowship (Club) and met some people she can bond with. It does concern me a little that, snce she can bond deeper with people of the same religion, that shell find a guy that can better satisfy her emotionally and leave me for him. I dont mean to sound like selfish, conceited *******, but sometimes I feel like shes preventing me from doing some things that I would normally do. I really do love her and dont want to break up with her over these things, but I dont know if its normal to be feeling like this or if its a sign.

 

I dont know how to interpret these emotions...

[abitbroken]

Do you want to marry this girl someday? If you don't see her as your future wife, you might decide to let her go. But why have a "me too" attitude? Just because your friends are frat boys and want to drink til they vommit doesn't mean you have to - there are plenty of ways to volunteer, try out for things, etc, without drinking yourself silly. There are plenty of other people to be friends with who don't party themselves sick. I didn't myself.

 

btw, you are talking that you see her everyday like she doesn't meet new people = how can anyone expect to make new friends when you have moved to college just a few days ago? It takes time. And it is exciting maybe at first to see people partying, but after classes really settle in, you may realize it was a dumb idea.

 

I really would wait until you got your bearings at college before making any major decisions. You could find she is the grounding force you need or find out you have less in common.

[Moontiger]

honestly? It sounds like you two are not compatible. College is about trying new things. I was never a big party-er but I understand wanting to go out and experience it. Overall, I agree with abitbroken.

 

I think both you and her need to join some clubs and meet new people. Don't look back on your college experience with regret.

[Ms Darcy]

I can't imagine how you two are compatible long-term.

[Klokwurk]

Get out now.

[agent1607307371]

You're changing into different people. It's sad, but it happens.

 

 

And yes, at the stage in life you're at, it's very common. You're not a jerk for feeling it.

[Minx2012]

I agree with Klokwurk : GET OUT NOW.

 

You definitely do not want to look back at your college with regret. I truly enjoyed my university years and it made me into the person I am today. It opened up the whole world for me ( new experience, beliefs, opinions, ideas, energy etc ). I think that you are missing out. I'm sorry to say this....but SERIOUSLY missing out.

[Slimpee]

From someone who went through a very similar experience my first year of college, but stayed with the girl, i cannot be more clear when I say GET OUT NOW!

 

Your doubts will not subside but will only grow greater and you may start to resent her because you're holding back for her, not for you.

 

And if you really care abt her, you should let her go in order to allow her the space to find someone more compatible w/ her.

[figur]

I have to agree with everyone else. You're allowed to feel this way, and your concerns are absolutely what people should end relationships for. Compatibility in life styles and desires and goals...these are important things. I do think your thoughts at this point are a sign that you want to end it. Plus, at your point in life it is very important to experience a decent break up. It is good learning experience. Be kind, but firm.

[Day_Walker]

I think that you have to acknowledge the incompatibility. Essentially you are letter her beliefs dictate your behavior. You have to ask yourself if you are okay with that no but also in the future. My advice would be to move on and experience what you want to and find a girl that you have more in common with.

[blueidealist24]

I agree that you are incompatible. I also find it weird that she suggested not seeing each other that much because she wants to meet new people. It's almost like she's starting to think the same thing you are about the incompatibility, or has been thinking it even before you got there..