Falling in love... but discovered he's a Vegan?

[lilylilylily]

I met this new guy two weeks ago in our circle of friends. We got on really well, everytime I enter the room he would make an excuse to get up and greet me / spend time with me.

 

However I just discovered he's a Vegan.

 

This doesn't bother me, but it's making me confused. Does he even LIKE me or is he just being very friendly? I say this because....

1) He is very friendly.

2) I wear leather boots / leather bag (probably fake but still...)

3) I love meat/vegetables

 

 

Honestly, flirting anymore with him has become a complete turn off because I can't stop thinking 'well what if he thinks I'm a bad person for wearing (fake) leather boots, and only sees me as a friend and not a potential mate?'

 

Sucks because he's super cute/adorable confused.

[Snny]

I dated a vegan... didn't work out at all. If someone is going to judge you for the way you dress then he isn't the right person to be with in the first place.

[lilylilylily]

Well thats the thing. He hasn't said anything AT ALL about veganism... I just heard it in passing...

[pl3asehelp]

Jeez, he could be a vegan for personal health reasons - I wouldn't be so quick to assume it's a moral ethical thing and that he looks down on other people who don't eat like he does. If that is in fact true about him, f him then and go have a steak. Your #3 comment strikes me as add though because you say you love meat/vegetables - vegans eat vegetables.

[Your Prince]

vegans by definition have a hard time getting the vitamins & complete proteins they need. My only concerns are if he judges you & you should watch his health to make sure he isn't deficient in anything like high quality protein or b-12

[RedDress]

I agree.

 

- Just because he's vegan doesn't necessarily mean that he's against leather, etc. It's more probable, sure... but I doubt he's judging you.

- I'd bet that his mom is not vegan. (lol!) I mean... it's possible... but it's kind of a "new" thing. So... if he's judging you, he's likely judging his mom. (lol!)

- Maybe he knows your leather is fake

- Vegans are in the minority. They usually know this. Maybe he's ok dating a non-vegan or maybe he thinks he can change you.

- I know couples where one is veggie and one is carnivore. (although - this is less common with vegans). You don't have to believe the same things. You just have to respect each other's beliefs

 

I really wouldn't think twice about it. Just don't offer him food. (lol! funny but true... anything you have is likely to at least be made of milk, eggs or some kind of meat/meat byproduct or broth). Let HIM feed YOU.

[lilylilylily]

@pleasehelp

I added 'vegetables' because I don't only love meat... somehow saying 'I love meat' made it sound like I'm some sort of bloodthirsty-human. I do adore vegetables. But I suppose it might be wise to try and figure out why he's vegan first instead of jumping to conclusions.

 

@Reddress

Funny about offering food, thats how I discovered he was vegan! (luckily the candy I was offering him was vegan-suitable). I actually got quite excited by the idea of getting to cook / feed for a vegan but then it makes me wonder if I'm 'changing' myself just to suit him... thus lowering any respect I have....

 

Now my dilemma is, do I wear my leather boots next time I see him or not? This could be a matter of life and death...

 

Okay not really lol, but we get on SO well... it could be kismet... I even dreamed about him last night...

[Klokwurk]

Ew, veganism.

 

Anyway, if he hasnt made it clear he finds your tastes despicable, then you need to get over it and see him for what he is: a guy who eats boring, bland food, and someone you find interesting. Time will tell if he is one of those closet meat haters.

[GirlontheLam]

One of my vegan friends is engaged to a meat eater. They eat vegan at home. And he partakes in meat when he goes out.

[Silverbirch]

I'm vegetarian - wouldn't rule out eventually becoming vegan but it is a PERSONAL choice. It's not like I go around wanting to know who is a veggie and who isn't. I do it because it is right for ME. Some of my friends happen to be vegetarian - and we have swapped some recipes but we all like different things. I think you might be blowing this up in your head more than you need to. I also have meat-eating friends who have tried various foods I have cooked and liked them. The fact I don't eat meat hasn't been a big deal. Even when I have gone out to places which mostly serve meat, I always manage to get something I can eat - if I'm with people, I'm with them because I like their company, not because of the food which is being served.

[HeartGoesOn]

 

 

Is this the same guy?

[Keyman]

So you are judging him based on the presumption that he's judgemental? Because he is a vegan? It's like saying 'I don't think it'll work out because he doesn't like japanese cars and I have a Mazda.'

 

Leave him alone and let him find someone that is accepting of his life choices.

[lilylilylily]

No, it is not.

 

In regards to that thread, we talked over the past week and it turns out he has also been worried we don't make each other completely happy (and thus we are in the process of simmering down to just becoming friends instead of dating now.)

 

edit:

@Keyman

Wow. I do accept his life choices, the point is whether he accepts mine.

[camus154]

Wow. I do accept his life choices, the point is whether he accepts mine.

 

Perhaps you should focus on whether he likes you romantically at all before you worry over whether he'll accept your lifestyle choices.

[SapphireNoir10]

My ex was a vegetarian but he didn't judge me for eating meat.

 

One of my best friends is a vegan and doesn't judge me for any of my lifestyle choices.

 

For a lot of people it's there own personal choice but they don't look down on others for it.

[Brightest Dark]

I'm vegan and I like a meat eating guy. It would not put me off dating him, although I'd hope that he would try vegan or at least vegetarian food. I would hate to date a meat eater that was stubborn and wouldn't try vegan food. As long as you are open-minded, it could work. I'd probably prefer the person I date to eventually wear clothing that was also not made of leather. I mean, you can get fake leather that looks like real leather. I wouldn't demand it. If I really liked the guy I'd be just happy to be with him - but I'd hope to educate him about the animal cruelty over time and hope he could eventually become compassionate enough to not need to use or eat animal products. There's so much amazing vegan food out there - from vegan bacon, burgers, sausages to fake fur and fake leather, that no-one really needs to eat, wear or use animals at all. It's all just because of how we were brought up and conditioned as kids/people. But yeah, just because he's vegan doesn't mean he wouldn't date and fall in love with a meat eater. I'd love this meat eating guy I like to actually want to date me.

[camus154]

There's so much amazing vegan food out there - from vegan bacon, burgers, sausages to fake fur and fake leather, that no-one really needs to eat, wear or use animals at all. It's all just because of how we were brought up and conditioned as kids/people.

 

Or, you know, because a nice medium rare steak is impossible to beat! Sorry, no vegan food on the planet can compete with that.

[forestcat]

I have been a vegetarian (I am not vegan though) for over half my life, but my previous boyfriends all ate meat. Many veggies would not have a problem dating someone who ate meat but other veggies would.

 

@pleasehelp

 

Now my dilemma is, do I wear my leather boots next time I see him or not? This could be a matter of life and death...

 

 

The thing to remember is don't change yourself for anyone else. So if you want to wear leather, wear it. If you want to eat meat, then eat it. If you want to change, change because YOU want to, and not because of pressure from anyone else. Don't change yourself just so he will like you more. Just be yourself. If he is worth it, he will like you for who you are, and he won't try to change you.

 

 

 

@pleasehelp

 

Funny about offering food, thats how I discovered he was vegan! (luckily the candy I was offering him was vegan-suitable). I actually got quite excited by the idea of getting to cook / feed for a vegan but then it makes me wonder if I'm 'changing' myself just to suit him... thus lowering any respect I have....

 

I don't think this is changing yourself; I just think it would be nice. I have bought meat dishes to my (now ex) boyfriend (didn't cook it but paid for it, and surprised him with a dinner he liked).

[Keyman]

but I'd hope to educate him about the animal cruelty over time and hope he could eventually become compassionate enough to not need to use or eat animal products. There's so much amazing vegan food out there - from vegan bacon, burgers, sausages to fake fur and fake leather, that no-one really needs to eat, wear or use animals at all.

 

What if he had the same ideas from the opposite angle, the want to eventually educate and change your life choices so you ate meat? I'm starting to see what the concern might be for dating a vegan...

[Generation]

Seems like you're making a lot of assumptions about him without really getting to know him first. Be yourself. If you like your leather boots, wear them. Why change yourself for someone just because they live a certain lifestyle that's inconsistent with yours?

 

I remember getting into a heated argument with someone last year cause I made a thread on becoming vegetarian, and she pretty much started making ridiculous assumptions about me and trying to label me for being inconsistent with my endeavor so I just had to shut her down, all because I didn't fit her idea of what a vegetarian should be. She was pretty much giving me fashion advice, it was so ridiculous. My point to this is get to know him first.

[Blue92]

Just because he is vegan does not mean he won't accept your lifestyle. The only way to find that out is to get to know him more, but I don't think veganism should be looked at as an unattractive trait if that is what you are getting at.

[HeartGoesOn]

You've only been dating for two weeks, therefore you barely know each other, nor do you know if there's potential for a relationship.

 

I would take a step back, and see where this goes before making his diet an issue.

[lilylilylily]

We've not been dating. We're only friends who meet up with a bunch of others a few times a week (thus my confusion as to whether he is flirting with me or not).

 

Thanks for all the advice though, I think I was a bit silly being frightened off by the word vegan. Ill get to know him first

[Klokwurk]

We've not been dating. We're only friends who meet up with a bunch of others a few times a week (thus my confusion as to whether he is flirting with me or not).

 

Thanks for all the advice though, I think I was a bit silly being frightened off by the word vegan. Ill get to know him first

 

Lol, cute response.

[mfan]

A lot of people have questions for vegans, and they are used to answering them and probably flattered when people take an interest. Why not ask him in a cute way if he is opposed to you wearing leather? I bet he will find it considerate that you thought to ask him. And you'll find out whether his veganism is a health thing or a judgmental thing.