Divorce and Sex

[Guitargrinder]

So, after 13 years of marriage, my wife asked for divorce. I’ve been out of the house for 2 months (legal separation and lawyers) and see the kids regularly. We are on good terms and joke around about things. Basically, a decent relationship (regardless of a rocky past). Looks like it will be another 10 months before the final divorce.

 

Here’s my crazy question. How can I talk her into having one last fling with me? I’m not looking to rekindle things or hold it against her during the divorce. It would just be nice to enjoy it with her one last time. Am I crazy for thinking about this??

[pl3asehelp]

I'd just ask her and tell her what you said here. I can't imagine her saying yes and if she did, I'd say you guys shouldn't get divorced. Crazy, I don't know, but I know I would not want to sleep with someone who asked me for a divorce. That would be the last person on earth I'd want to sleep with.

[Guitargrinder]

Well, she's always said that she's physically attracted to me, just emotionally not. But, you have a good point. If she wanted the divorce, why would she want a final fling....

[camus154]

This is actually a lot more common than you might think. It's hardly surprising to want one more roll in the hay with someone you're sexually attracted or that you've loved but can't otherwise be with. I'm not saying it's particularly healthy, but it's certainly not crazy or unheard of. And I'd bet money on the fact that she's probably entertained the idea herself.

[Guitargrinder]

Thanks for the light at the end of the tunnel, Camus..... I need to somehow bring it into a discussion and feel her out before I embarrass myself by asking...

[pl3asehelp]

Well, she's always said that she's physically attracted to me, just emotionally not. But, you have a good point. If she wanted the divorce, why would she want a final fling....

 

I couldn't have sex with someone who told me they weren't emotionally attracted to me. That's about the ultimate turn off. I would instantly lose all attraction right there. Time to go out and get some strange man, it's been 13 years - doesn't something different sound more appealing?

[LillyLooWho]

Well as a woman, I don't think I would be offended. If you were the one who asked for the divorce, she might be more upset if you asked.

[Guitargrinder]

Probably, Pl3eashelp. But I think I'm actually falling into one of those "want what I can't have" moments. Never thought I would be that kind of guy.....

 

Female opinion needed, please!!

[Guitargrinder]

Thanks for the advice, Lilly. Just wondering how to approach it and not seem weird about it.

[LillyLooWho]

Say this:

 

How can I talk you into having one last fling with me? I’m not looking to rekindle things or hold it against you during the divorce. It would just be nice to enjoy it with you one last time. Am I crazy for thinking about this??

[FathomFear]

Yeah, to be honest I'm not sure what your motivations are. She wants a divorce. I don't know about you, but I find the whole idea to be sexually unappealing. I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about how the person wants nothing to do with me.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

What exactly is one last fling? Is it a one-time romp in the sack and that's that? How will that solve anything for you...after that one romp you will still be getting divorced, still be single, still not have a regular sex partner, and will still have to cruise the bars looking for the next romp in the sack. One last time will be here and gone in a flash and nothing will have been solved.

[LillyLooWho]

What exactly is one last fling? Is it a one-time romp in the sack and that's that? How will that solve anything for you...after that one romp you will still be getting divorced, still be single, still not have a regular sex partner, and will still have to cruise the bars looking for the next romp in the sack. One last time will be here and gone in a flash and nothing will have been solved.

 

I don't think it is to solve anything. I just think he wants them to have a good memory to end on. Ok, maybe not a good memory that you or many other would appreciate but everyone has their own ideas about things.

[Trinity11]

Hehe said it to one of my ex's who broke up with me. He did it, it was amazing. End of story. Got me through until the next time.

[Capricorn3]

Looking at it from her point of view, with her being the one to ask for a divorce, then I can't for the life of me imagine her wanting to have sex with you. She wants a divorce for a reason and I imagine part of that reason is that she is no longer in to you in that way. I could be way off base here, but that's the way I see it.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Looking at it from her point of view, with her being the one to ask for a divorce, then I can't for the life of me imagine her wanting to have sex with you. She wants a divorce for a reason and I imagine part of that reason is that she is no longer in to you in that way. I could be way off base here, but that's the way I see it.

 

As we know from many posts on this forum and from politicians and celebrities, horny people don't think with their brain...they live in the moment waiting for their sex fix. I knew a woman who hated her ex but they had a child together so they had to make the best of it. However, every so often when she was feeling particularly horny she called up her ex and invited him over for sex. So if the OP's soon to be ex is feeling desperate for her sex fix, she may very well take him up on his offer, despite how she really feels about him.

[Guitargrinder]

Thanks for all the advice...

[Foodie]

Human relationships are complicated. It sounds like you and your wife still care for each other, and personally I dont see anything wrong with wanting to have sex with her one last time as long as you are both unattached. Just make sure that you both understand this as one last expression of affection and celebration of your many years of marriage.

[tinsel]

I actually did a "final fling" with someone who ended our long relationship. I thought it would be a good way to end things, but it back fired and was very upsetting. It broke my heart all over again. I wouldn't recommend it. I am female btw.

[Guitargrinder]

Well, I actually acted on it. I said "Do you ever think about it?" She said "Sure I do, but I just cant right now. It will probably be a long time before I would be emotionally ready". I said "ok". and just left it at that. End of this story. Thanks for the advice!!

[Guitargrinder]

Subscribing