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Break-up because of religion??


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Hi everyone,


I have been through a lot emotionally and after a lot of previous heartache and after being single for almost 2 years, I started dating a man, who to my surprise, I fell for very quickly. I thought our relationship was perfect, we got on extremely well, he was very affectionate and loving and I was on cloud nine..until he called me one night and broke up with me on that basis that he is Jewish and I am not. We both knew this from the moment we met of course, and he reassured me a number of times that this is not a problem for him (it never was a problem for me). He maintained that he is crazy about me, that I am the perfect girl for him but that he just could not abandon a cultural context that is so important to him. Needless to say, I am absolutely devastated. I told him I thought he was making a huge mistake but that I would respect his decision and since then I have not contacted him. I have noticed however that every 10 days or so, he views my linkedin profile (I am not on Facebook or such), but apart from that, we have had no further contact. I am so sad and disappointed and can not quite believe that someone who says he is non-practicing in religious terms would end such a beautiful relationship so suddenly. I am intuitive, old enough and mature enough to see a bad relationship and to smell a break-up from afar, but I did not see this coming. Any soothing words or thoughts would be very welcome. Was his religion just an excuse to break up with me?

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I'm sorry to say but I suspect the religion was just an excuse. The relationship seemed beautiful to you, but was it to him? There are two sides to every story and we tend to see what we want to see.


It is sad though - love lost, seemingly without reason or fairness. My sympathies. I doubt there is anything you could have done different and this is just bad luck only. Sorry.

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While it's likely it's an excuse, another possibility is that he started thinking about marriage and children. To be considered Jewish, your mother must be Jewish - your father's ancestry is unimportant. For many Jews, Judaism is more a tribal identity than a religion. You're a lot more likely to encounter this on the east coast - you run into more people whose families haven't moved since they arrived, and they tend to more clannish.

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