"Taking a break" in a relationship

[Alidan]

i heard that taking a break in a relationship is considered a break up.. is that true...

 

would this be a break up or just "taking a break"

 

wanted to get your life back on track before getting back into the relationship because you dont feel your partner deserves all the stress..

 

is that a break up or "taking a break"

 

What would be some reasons for taking a break in a relationship

[FrenchFries]

Sounds like a breakup to me. People usually start with the take a break line to soften the blow I guess. Sometime during the break they finalize it...usually.

[Me and myself]

wanted to get your life back on track before getting back into the relationship because you dont feel your partner deserves all the stress..

If a couple decided to "take a break" everytime there's some stress...well, it doesn't seem to be a real relationship. But I don't know the details of your situation. Maybe you can post them.

[sidehop]

People make all kinds of excuses but yes, it's understood for the most part break is really a break up.

[Doc Blaze]

its tough..a lot of confusion with breaks...usually the person who doesnt ask for the break is left confused and wondering...

 

I made it through a "break" but the relationship was never the same..then she broke up with me a few months later

[RedDress]

"Taking a break" is not the same thing as a break-up... but it's extremely confusing and opening up the relationship to a lot of possible misunderstanding hurt feelings. Really? I wouldn't accept this situation.

 

What are the ground rules for the break? What if you meet someone else during that time? Are you allowed to flirt with them? Are you allowed to fool around with them? What about sex? What about saying "I love you" to the other person? There are SO many posts on here about someone doing something that the other partner feels is unreasonable during a "break" and someone gets hurt.

 

Since the ground rules are not clear, you have to have the conversation about acceptable boundaries.

- If any amount of seeing other people is allowed - you should just break up (if even just for a while with the intent to get back together). Putting the label of "broken up" on things makes each person's responsibilities very, very clear (there are none).

- If no amount of seeing other people is allowed... well... why aren't you supporting each other like healthy couples do? That's what relationships are about. As someone else pointed out - life is full of stress - are you going to pseudo-breakup everytime that happens? Does your partner deserve the "stress" of wondering if you are going to come back? Isn't that worse?

 

In my opinion, there is no good reason to "take a break". It's living in limbo. Rather - breakups don't have to be forever - they've been known to get reversed and people reconcile - but make the boundaries clear from the get-go. It avoids confusion and misunderstanding.

[Alidan]

It seems like a legit reason, but I still haven't really had the chance to really talk to him, he just left me a message.. When I can I will talk to him about it

[Doc Blaze]

what was the reason?

 

 

and he left you a message saying he needs a break?

[Alidan]

I still have to talk to him... so hopefully ill get things more clear when we talk it out. thanks everyone... i really hope it works out

[eternalsunrise]

Did he tell you this in a voicemail? email?

 

Taking a break is a breakup and that's how you should treat it. If he was concerned for you to realize it still meant you were together, he would have definitely made it clear. I think he meant to go your separate way for a while...whatever will be will be... Point being, he needs a break from thinking about a relationship.

 

If I were you, I wouldn't even bother trying to seek clarification from him. Let it be. If he is concerned about you (especially not hearing from you) he will reach out to you. But don't wait on that. Treat his message as a breakup

[lipstick red]

I don't think ppl in a relationship can take a break from each other. They can go on breaks together but never a break from each other.

 

A break is a short skip from a break-up especially to the person that called for it.