New chick, mixed signals. Out of the game for four years.

[karben]

So broke up, back in it. Question...

 

I work with this chick. Gorgeous. She seems into me. We text back and forth constantly. She TOLD me shes into me. That Im the first person shes really connected with since her breakup 6 months ago. Everytime I try to ask her out to do something, there's always an excuse. Weve spent a few nights talking on the phone until 5-6am. Hours on the phone. Yet I have only seen her outside of work a few times and it was always on her terms. Except for Friday when she came over to my birthday party. But then she only stayed for a little bit. She has a really close guy friend at work. Who shes ALWAYS with. I mean ALWAYS. She told me he asked her out and she said no. She moved to my town about a year ago and doesnt have many close friends except for this dude. She drop dead gorgeous. Very easy to get along with. Everyone asks her if she's with this dude and she always says no. Thats gross hes like a brother to her...

 

I dont get why she can tell me shes into me. But have some excuse every time I ask her to do something. I stopped talking to her for about a week and we recently reconnected. We literally text constantly. Shes brought up how much she likes to cuddle and ive mentioned that we should and its, "That sounds great" responses with emoticons. I dont understand what shes doing. HALP!

[RedDress]

Danger, danger! There are a number of red flags all over this.

 

First - you already know that this other guy isn't a friend. He's a "friend" (aka - someone who wants to sleep with her). And he's not hanging around to do her nails and give her relationship advice. While I do believe in opposite sex friends - this isn't it. If they hang out ALL the time and he's asked her out in the last year (probably less) - it's because he wants to be with her. Badly. And who knows what she's saying to him! Maybe she talks about cuddling with him too.

 

Also - let's think this through. If she does date you - what's going to happen to this "best friend" of hers? Either that will push him away - and that will upset her, so she could back off your relationship - OR - he'll hang around. Do you really want some other dude who wants to sleep with her being the friend she confides in?

 

And if she's easy to get along with - why doesn't she have any girl friends?

 

And she's sending you mixed messages (possibly to keep you hanging on?)

 

I think this is a mess waiting to happen.

[karben]

Thanks for reading between the lines. There's no way id want her hanging w some dude while we aren't together. I can tell you right now that'd wig me out. Cause problems, etc. I gave up for a week and ill probably give up again.

[lilylilylily]

If she seems to 'click' so well with you, she is probably 'clicking' really well with many other guys... Haven't you wondered why you guys seem to get on so well? She's just really good at it/making you feel special.

[Slimpee]

I kinda agree w/ the first two responders. I'd imagine that if she were into you, she'd make the time to spend time w/ you.

 

When you're interested in a girl, you make time to see her, don't you?