ex-boyfriend cheating on current girlfriend with me.

[stuckonyou]

i really need help when it comes to my ex-boyfriend. he was my first love ever since my senior year of high school of 2009. We been on one hell of a roller coaster ride. Within six months of the relationship he went to juvi and he said it was my fault for fighting this guy he really hates. After then i felt like i owed him a lot, to the point where he didn't take me to prom or do any of the high school activities that I wanted to do, but I felt like I deserved it. Then it came to our graduation, we ended up moving two hours away from were we graduated from. Things were okay until I found out that he cheated on me, and I still stuck around him, because I really cared for him, then things got really bad and we ended up breaking up. It was a very bad break up and I felt so numb.

I couldn't move on, and a few months later we tried to figure something out, but then he told me he was going to get a girlfriend.We live in the same city but separately now. He has been going out with the girl since 2011 and he has been cheating on her every moment he got with me. Then her graduation came that year and he ended up bringing her to the current city we moved out to. He took her to her prom and such which really hurt me and did all the stuff i wanted to do. I forgave him for all that, but till this day he's still cheating on her with me.

There's still some type of chemistry there & we can't be together because our families & trust issues, but at the same time I can't seem to move on from him & daily I can't feel anything except hurt, numbness, and just all the sad feelings. I am strong in front of people but inside i'm very vulnerable. We been through a lot of stuff & we are really comfortable with each other and know each other inside and out, but I'm tired of this feeling and he's been with her for such a long time. & I'm still letting him do this. He's the biggest manipulator/jerk/scumbag, but sadly I'm in love with him.

What should I do, besides the obvious..MOVE ON & ignore him & such. (i have blocked him/ignored him, but he seems to know how to contact me. I even dated a guy to try to move on, but it didn't work out & he was there trying to break it up and warning me he's not a good guy.)

 

please help me.

[Trinity11]

Hes not a good guy, and he doesn't do your confidence any good at all. Cut contact, work on yourself and your friends and studies and then when you date others...you will be happier be able to appreciate other guys and will see him for what he is. Confidence is key. He targets those that don't have confidence and those that do, he tries to break it down You are better than that.

Start by doing something nice for yourself. A new treat to start a new life without him. PS i can tell you how to block him, im pretty good with technology.

[stuckonyou]

thanks for your advice. It's just hard, because we have a lot in common, but not when it comes to cheating, but I understand why he did it. We were 18/17 years old when we moved in and we were constantly in each others bubbles. We didn't give each other space and took every single class together too.

& after we broke up, he had to go on cymbalta because of all this depressing things that has happened. but now, he is slowly getting off it and he is realizing how much more had to grow up and all.

I am pretty well with technology as well & so is he. He has been working with cellphones for the past year and a half and so with computers. He's very intelligent, especially because he has family that is really good with all that stuff.

[Keyman]

The more you let him sleep with you, the more he is going to keep trying.

 

You are going to have to find a way to stand up to him and if he continues to track you down, then go and get a restraining order. He is not a nice person, but since you have him so high up on a pedestal, he will just continue with whatever he can get away with. At the moment, he is happily sleeping with two girls and possibly more.

 

Stand up for who you are and tell him to get out of your life. it's not going to stop until you do.

[stuckonyou]

It's true.. I do look up to him a lot & it's super hard knowing he was my first love and all. It's really hard to completely break away from that & sadly to say, i know that I am like a doormat & i'm honestly done with that. So I believe the best way to do it, is telling him how I really feel and how disgusting it is. I have everything in my mind, what exactly what I want him to hear, but I'm scared it won't come out the way I want it to when I'm face to face with him. what should I do to stand my ground?

[littleL_RN]

Do you want to know the most liberating way to stand your ground?

 

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore

 

Use any avenue you can to completely eliminate this guy from your life.

 

I understand that there can be a lasting attachment to a first love, but you're letting him walk all over you. He blamed you for his stupid decision years ago. And it seems you are acutely aware that he is not trustworthy at all.

 

 

Like Keyman said, if he continues to pursue you in the midst of you ignoring him, I would file for a restraining order. Whatever you do, do not communicate with him. If his contact becomes menacing or excessive, it will be helpful to show the police the phone calls, e-mails, or text messages. Sadly, I am familiar with this as I was nearly pushed to the brink of a getting a restraining order years ago.

[stuckonyou]

To everyone,

Thank You for the advice. I'll ignore him, because i'm tired of feeling like this & I really want to move on, but it's harder than I thought. I know it will take time, but it really sucks. For now i'll avoid any type of communication even if he tries to contact me I'll ignore him & if he comes to my place or anything then i'll take legal charges in consideration.