Help, I miss him so much ..

[HiItsMe12]

Hi everyone, im new here and im not sure how to start off so ill just tell you my story. Its going to sound so silly and even I cant believe this has had such a huge impact on my life. Basically, i found this website when i was young (around 11 years old) and i started going on there for years. Its been 5 years now im 16 and i still go on. I've made friends there, and that wouldn't be such a bad thing if it wasn't for the fact that they are the only friends i have anymore. I spend all my day on the computer talking to them. Its becoming a big problem. On this website, I met a guy about 2 years ago. We flirted a lot and we started going out 2 months after knowing each other. We started to spend all day together, literally. We became so close that we started talking about the future, meeting up and even getting married! I really thought this guy was "the one" although I'd never met him before I felt like I'd known him my whole life. So yes, i dated him 2 years by texting, video chatting, and all of that. I was in love and I was SO happy. One day, out of the blue.. he told me he didn't feel the same about me anymore. That's when everything went down hill. I stuck around trying to find out what was wrong etc. After about a week of him saying he didn't feel the same, he told me he didn't love me anymore. We broke up, and I spent 3 months trying to get him back, even begging him to give me another chance saying "if you loved me once you can do it again". He didn't want to continue. I'ts been 3 months since we broke up and I haven't talked to him in 2 days now for the first time. (Going on the no contact rule). It's so hard because I still don't know why/how he could just fall out of love with me..What did I do wrong??

It's even harder because he was literally the only person I could talk to. Now without him I spend all day after school in my room doing nothing. Its pretty bad.

I miss him, but somewhere deep down i guess i always knew it couldn't last because it was over the internet..i was never with him physically.

I've cut contact with most of my online friends too, its not healthy for me to continue going on the website since hes there too.

I really need someone advice, Im breaking down and it feels like there's nothing left for me to do. I just want to die I have no one left, no one at all. It feels like hes the only person in my life that I care about.. what do i do? will this feeling of regret and guilt and loneliness ever go away?

[Keyman]

About 18 years ago - yup, before you were born - I used to hang out on a chat site every night and I met a girl who lived on the other side of the world. We 'cyberdated' for a year and we rather deeply in love during that time even though we had never spoken. Now this is the time before skype or other video chats and even limited voice over internet. It was all email and chat..

 

After a year, I got so depressed that I was never going to meet her that I broke up with her and avoided her. It was a hard decision, as I pretty much spent most of my spare time talking to her.

 

What I decided to do was get off my computer and go and find other thigns to do. pretty much the same if I was breaking up with anyone. Fill my time doing other stuff and evenutally it went away, I met a person I could actually touch and moved on...

[Mistykitty]

...why did you cut off contact with your other online friends? online or not, they're still your friends, and I think they'd really help you right now

[kitkat620]

Wow. I, like most people, love the internet. It's great for research, shopping, advice and yes, meeting people. Unfortunately, and this is my own personal opinion, it has made us lazy in a lot of things. We don't have to physically go out and shop, go to the library, or for that matter, meet people.

When I was your age, the only way to meet people was through school and/or social/sports events, and the like. We literally had to dress up, fix our hair, put on a little makeup and go out to physically socialize with our peers and members of the opposite sex. It was scary, and yes at times, intimidating, but it was what we had to do if we wanted to meet someone and more importantly, to have fun.

Now, you can sit in front of a computer, type in a few search words, play a few games and meet a gaggle of online personalities without actually having to 'meet' anyone in person.

Maybe you were content with that kind of relationship, a lot of people are. but don't you want to go out and meet someone face to face? See a cute boy accross the room that you can sneak looks at and giggle about with your girlfriends? Develop a physical relationship with someone that you can hold hands with at the movies or while strolling through a park, or for that matter, just sitting on the front porch talking and in time, kissing?

Don't get me wrong, I am by no means downing the internet and all it has to offer. I, myself, am a member to a couple of online dating sites which i thoroughly enjoy. But it does not take the place of having someone to sit with and talk to, to cuddle with, and to go out with.

I think the internet is a great source for meeting people, but eventually that should lead to an actual physical meeting.

i think you need to get out there. Join some groups at school or sign up for some kind of sport that you are interested in. Meet people outside of the internet.

5 years have past. Start limiting yourself to the amount of time you spend on the internet. And please, if you are feeling depressed, lonely, or god forbid, suicidal talk to your parents and ask for help. You are way too young to be feeling that way. You have your whole life ahead of you, and I know there are real people out there who would be thrilled to have you as a friend or girlfriend.

Good luck to you, sweetheart and keep us posted.

[Snowtown]

I'm afraid a life on the internet isn't real. Please get a life and meet real people, there is so much out there for you, go for it and don't return to the chat forums.