soconfused001 Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Hello and Question: So recently my now ex-boyfriend took a two week road trip with guy friends en-route to a wedding.. Things with us were fine just days before. During his trip he would text me all day and night, sharing pictures and text of his current location. His trip seemed so much fun and I was missing him like crazy. He kept telling me that he loved me and that he couldn't wait to get back. Then out of the blue, three days out of his trip he started acting distant, not writing or calling as much.. I started to sense that something was off with us, as just a day before he was so loving and telling me that had gifts to bring back from each city.. I found myself calling and texting, only to get short answers. I know that most of the trip was spent touring cities, eating out at Restaurants, and bars and clubs. Bars and clubs I was not a fan of, but anyway, he would even text me while he was out at night. As I said everything seemed great but all of a sudden he became uninterested in speaking to me. He texted me finally on his last day away saying we he would be landing back home. Then he was still distant, he had lost all the lovie dovie attitude in exchange for pure coldness. We never got to speak that night, when I asked what was wrong via text, he just said that he was sad, confused, upset but that it wasnt my fault. Next day we speak and he says he wanted to be single and that this trip made him realize this and that he had such a great time and would enjoy being solo and hanging out with friends.And in his cold words, "I don't know what to tell you, it's a feeling I can't control". Utter coldness and annoyance in his voice. He said that on the last days of the trip he just completely forgot about me and that it was a bad feeling.. And that when it was time to come home the day of he had no sense to rush back to see me. No I'm sorry or anything. This has happened two weeks before our 2nd anniversary. We've had our share of ups and downs. I tried calling him again last night to see if we could talk peacefully and nicely. He proceeded to be really nasty, expressing that he wants to find other girls to date and that he is too young to be with one person and that it's gotten old to him. He now wants to be with friends and "sample more girls" so that he knows exactly what he wants. He said I remind him of things that he hates and that there is a lot that he doesnt like about me. He even admitted that he's given away something that he bought me but is trying to get it back to give it to me anyway as well as other gifts he bought. We've broken up back and fourth but we've always gotten back together the next day. So it was never anything official.. Our anniversary is next week of 2 years, we planned our whole evening for that day all his idea. we also have a planned trip for a wedding in two weeks that he doesnt care about losing money over, we also had something really special planned. So my question is how could someone youve known this long. vacations, weddings, family get together and all just have such hate for me that he never tells me this in person more so over the phone and refuses to be friendly. He said that he hadnt been 100% happy with the relationship and didnt want to prolong things even with everything we have planned this weekend that has become a tradition of ours. He also said that his trip helped him make the decision. Any advice on how to deal with this or make sense of it would be greatly appreciated. Lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelly25 Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 honestly, **** him. he wants to be single? so can you. they only miss you when youre doing better than them, so go out and have lots of fun and make sure he knows youre perfectly fine without him. maybe while having the single life fun, youll meet someone better than the ******* who didnt realize what he had was so special ? (: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soconfused001 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 Thanks, Shelly. I'm starting to think that maybe something happened this trip that I'm not able to wrap my head around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReturnToSender Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 I would hate to say this because I know what you’re going through really hurts but maybe he cheated on you and 1. He feels so guilty about it but can’t admit to it so he breaks up with you or 2. He realized by being with someone else that he doesn't want to be tied down and enjoy the single life sampling more women as he said it. Either way the way he treated you was so wrong and you deserve so much better, if I was you I would distance myself from him I know it’s hard but if you stick around he's just going to keep hurting you over and over. I’m sorry that you have to go through all this I know it hurts but maybe your better off, imagine if you had gotten married and he pulled something like this. He obviously isn't ready to settle down with one person and with the way he's treating you it truly shows his true character and that he doesn't really care about you go NC and rid him out of your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soconfused001 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 Wow. This is extremely difficult to hear. I wish that he could tell me this. I feel any self respecting man should. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReturnToSender Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 I'm not saying that's necessarily the case just a possibility his behavior is really strange he went from loving to extremely cold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 I don't think it would be wise to assume he cheated - it seems to be the first thing people think of when there is a break-up but people can easily come to the sort of realisation he claims to have reached when away for a period of time. What were the previous break-ups about and what were the things he said he didn't like about you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReturnToSender Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Regardless you don’t deserve to be treated this way if he wanted to break up he could of went about it a different way not treating you like complete crap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soconfused001 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 Our breakups were always over arguments or disagreements on things. Like if one yelled at the other. one thing is that we're both stubborn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 were there recent arguments just before the break -up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soconfused001 Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 The Sat before the trip but we made up And were fine . He even had me stay at his apt the night before his trip, he had sex that night. Woke up and he wanted to cuddle and hold me and kiss me all of next morning. Then he drove me to my work but before that we had breakfast at a diner, we hugged a long time in the car he said I was making him sad because I was emotionAl before he dropped me off and kept insisting that the trip would be over before we knew it and that he'll be back soon. We talked about our anniversary and trips as something to look forward too. Even sent his aunt my name as his guess while on his road trip and let me know that she was so excited that I was a guess because she liked me. So sad it's so hard for me right now. We were that obsessed couple talking day and night ever hour that we chatted at our office online and by phone at least 3 x before we saw each other. I'm afraid I'll never get that kind of love I had from him. He even called me 3:30am our time on his way back from a club on this trip. That's how love sick we were. At least I thought Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karben Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Honestly, My ex broke up with me for a similar reason. Get the **** out of there sister. I'm still in contact with my ex.. actually, im one day NC. We've been seperated for 4 months... I've been hurt every day by her for four months. Don't text or call. ****, block him from Facebook, Google+, Skype, anything PLEASE go NC. I wish I had. Last night my ex texts me asking if I've hooked up with anyone yet. I asked her the same and whaddya know? She's dating/hooking up with some new guy now. ****. So much for wanting to be single. Seriously screw this dude. He's not worth it. Go have fun and be single. Theres millions of men out there who would NEVER treat you like this. Telling you he hates things about you? Thats not love. At all. You can't just like some parts about someone. Seriously, get out. At least you found out that he was a flake 2 years in instead of 25 years with 3 children. Go find someone who respects and cares about you, all of you. Not just a piece. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soconfused001 Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 Thank you all for helping as I try to sort through these feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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