I'm confused but it seems I might just as well give in to moving on. So sad.

[sibelius9]

My ex and I try to keep the NC rule to a healthy degree. A week or so and then a friendly checking in through e mail. Suddenly, I respond to her last attempt at emailing me by saying "I really miss you" and she replies by saying "me too...so much so it physically hurts my stomach and all". So we had a good chat, very friendly, and left on a good note. The next day she messages on the chat to bring up a some pending matter we've had about paying something off that we both owe together and to not forget to make the next payment. I said, ok...noted. She was very apologetic for having to remind me about that since it's a materialistic issue and I assured her that there is nothing wrong discussing those things and I thanked her for the reminder.

 

I then proceeded to tell her that I will probably be moving to Norway with an old friend to try something new, since we are both independent now and trying to live our own lives (that's how the "break" we started off on 3 months ago has evolved....not by my choice btw). Suddenly she tells me that news upset her very much and she couldn't chat anymore because she was emotional. I managed to calm her down and convinced her to skype with me and I offered her to stop by Florida to visit her so we can talk about any chance we may ever consider to get back together and she says NO. I cannot go back to you. Don't try anymore, I just want distance, we were miserable (gross over-exageration on her part), etc. etc. You can imagine the rest. She even went on to say that sometimes she utterly hates me.

 

If I'm so hated, why does she miss me? Why does she say "I love you" and then "I don't love you like that anymore", why so upset and shaken up about my move to Norway? She was just as upset when shortly after our break up I came to live in Mexico for a while. For some reason I'm also still her "husband" on facebook and she has not removed a single picture of us as a couple.

 

Any thoughts? I'm pretty sure it's all lost by now I should probably move one. Such a shame...we wanted to get married and I raised her little girl (from a previous relationship) for more than 2 years. I was her daddy. This break was supposed to heal so many wounds and yet it has driven us both mad and everything has been said from "you are my life and a reflection of my soul" to "I hate you...you *******" and everything in between those extremes.

 

Why? Why does loving someone HAVE to hurt so much now?

 

Thanks to anyone who reads this.

[Roxie84]

This girl is extremely confused about what she wants. As much as it hurts you, and as much as you wish you could reconcile one day, NC is definitely the best solution for both of you right now. It is the only way you two will get your thoughts and emotions into perspective.

 

IMO you should work out a payment plan regarding your mutual debt, and agree to break all contact for a while. No need to put a definite time frame on it, but tell her that you think it would be best for the two of you to have some time apart with no communication in order to get your lives in check.