What is her problem!?!? It's been 2.5 years!!

[Heartdead]

Once again, I feel compelled to reach out to me fellow ENA'ers for your insight into an event that has me really scratching my head with utter disbelief. I am thankful to say that I haven't been on here much lately as I have almost fully recovered from being completely destroyed by the actions and behavior of my ex. My story is on here if anyone would like to check my postings, but it is very similar to SC67 and Carus - blindsided and left for someone else.

 

About two weeks ago I get a friend request from that most evil of all applications - Facebook. The request was from none other than my ex. I didn't accept the request, but did send her a message asking whether it was a joke, a sincere attempt at trying to become friends with me, or merely a psychotic episode.

 

Two weeks later I get this response from her: "You had better just f**k off!!! What is your f**king problem!!! You are such a miserable person. It was an accident. Don't ever contact me again!!!!"

 

What!?! I really don't understand this response from her. I have had nothing to do with her and as far as I'm concerned, she no longer exists. I know in hindsight I should have just ignored the request and not responded, but I was curious to see what she wanted.

 

Any thoughts as to where her blow up may have come from?

[25thfloor]

well, she hates you. And it is easy to accidentially request someone to be a friend. She's embarassed she got caught.

[markie6]

Psycho response to you not automatically accepting her request. It would appear it either reminded her of guilt or anger at what happened. People who screw you over can forget the truth about what happened and when they are confronted with it ....emotional outburst ensues. That's my take

[ReturnToSender]

I wouldn't worry about it if I was you just brush it off and forget about it, she could of responded in a nicer way but this just shows you the kind of person she it.

[freadrik]

She had to be on your Facebook page to send a friend request. Your refusal to accept her immediately, as markie6 said, invoked her wrath. I would reply back, "god bless you, and return the favor of no contact. Toodles."

[nattpanter]

You want us to decode "You had better just f**k off!!! What is your f**king problem!!! You are such a miserable person. It was an accident. Don't ever contact me again!!!!"?

 

My immediate gut-feeling is that she doesn`t want you in her life, talking to her or like you as a person.

 

Based on her delivery I would say she is a psychotic cold-hearted b..ch with huge emotional problems, spiced up with lack of self-esteem,class and impulse control!

[playstheblues]

I'd say she was reaching out to you as a friend, and didn't expect Your response. Perhaps she'd ummed and ahhed about adding you and then when you asked her if she was psychotic it caused her to get quite angry. maybe she thought you'd just add her- I don't think it was an accident but it doesn't sound like she really handles things very well.

[TopFive]

You want us to decode "You had better just f**k off!!! What is your f**king problem!!! You are such a miserable person. It was an accident. Don't ever contact me again!!!!"?

 

My immediate gut-feeling is that she doesn`t want you in her life, talking to her or like you as a person.

 

Based on her delivery I would say she is a psychotic cold-hearted b..ch with huge emotional problems, spiced up with lack of self-esteem,class and impulse control!

 

Sounds like my ex. COMPLETELY

[Cheetarah]

It may have certainly been an accident. I've just incorporated my email contacts list before without paying attention to who is who.

 

What you said in response to it sounded kind of...assy. That would have irritated me. Not to the point where it would elicit anything other than a 'delete', but still.

 

Then again, it's entirely plausible that it was a cheap attempt at trying to reoopen the doors of communication, and when it wasn't as well-received as she'd like, in order to do damage control and preserve her ego she had to manipulate the whole thing and make you look like the psycho. Good times!

[Minx2012]

Facebook, in the context of bitter exes, is evil. Just don't bother to respond to that ridiculous, psychotic reply of hers. You are over her....and you can take this example as assurance that you are better off.

[OmgnowayBBQ]

Could have been an accident, Facebook has an option that searches through your email contacts (hotmail etc) and automatically send out emails for friend requests. I have received a few of these myself from random people I've emailed off craigslist etc that I've bought stuff off of at one point.

 

Depending on how you worded your original email and a combination of the accident shes just lashing out that you sent her an email with a hint (or alot) of negativity that she didn't care for, even though she accidentally initiated it.

[Live-N-Learn]

It would have been best to not respond...I doubt there was anything your really needed to say to something as simple as an fb request. All it did was leave you wondering what it meant so it put you in a tough spot to ask the questions that you asked....thus setting her up to go off. If she really wanted to be friend she would have sent a message along with the request saying hi and bla bla bla.

 

All that ended up happening is you get to feel more of the same pain she already delivered in the past. Lesson to all of us to never respond to our ex's unless the send us something of substance.

[Heartdead]

I appreciate all of your responses very much. The odd thing is she has no legitimate reason to be angry with me....especially after this long. She is the one who cheated on me and left to be with him. If anyone has a right to be angry in this situation it's me! I am a smart ass by nature in a comical way and she clearly knows that of me. My response to her was just that...a sarcastic response to her "mistake" of requesting me. There was nothing mean spirited in my reply.

 

I guess my real question is why would she have so much anger after this long? I know you all don't know the entire story of our relationship, but there was never anything wrong until she decided to have an affair and leave. I let her go on her way and ever since then she has been the one who won't leave me alone. She'll reach out in some way or another about every 4 months and explode on me with vile remarks or insults. What's the point in that? It's over, she's happy (she says), and I have my life back. What could she possibly gain from these outbursts?

[Heartdead]

Hey Live....you are absolutely right. Hope you've been doing well!

[Live-N-Learn]

She is not happy...I am sure she has a lot of issues and anger within her. All it takes is a small match to light the huge flame in her heart that shows itself in outbursts like this. Don't take it personally and rise above it. If anything feel sorry for her. She is a lonely sad soul imo.

[Heartdead]

I do feel sorry for her and have ever since the day she left. But, she will never know that and I no longer really care enough about her to help her. It does seem that she has serious demons to deal with and has no idea where to even begin. I have dealt with everything over the two years since she left and have rebuilt myself better than before she met me. Maybe it is catching up with her and I do agree, a happy person doesn't care one iota about the person they dumped....certainly not two and a half years later and still show this type of emotion.

[ZhaoZilong5]

I've had my share of psychotic exes that have cheated on me. They're also unhappy like your ex. They generally do intend to reach out nicely, but if it's not well-received, then a switch flips and they craziness emerges.