just some random thoughts.... might help someone :)

[idkxxx]

These are three quotes I'm trying to remember right now that, at this moment, are making me feel a little more at ease with my break up and the whole NC, ex not caring about me thing. Thought I may share it just in case it may help someones mindset like it has helped mine at the moment!

 

1. If you love something let it go, if it comes back it was always yours.

So it's shortened than the original but still. This is definitely one I've been trying to keep in mind during all this. I keep just trying to think that I do need to let him go, let him make his mistakes and to do what he needs to do, and if he comes back than I guess we were meant to be and if not, there's someone else out there for me. I guess it's easier said than done, and sure as hell there are times when I'm not this calm about that situation but still, in my 'calm' moments, I really agree with this.

 

2. What's meant to be will be.

Kind of links with the first one. If we are meant to be, then we will be. I keep trying to remember that you can't control what happens in the future and you can only just I guess really, focus on the now. If me and him are meant to be together, than we will be. And linking that with the first one, it really helps me feel better about everything because it's almost as though the stress of it kind of goes away because, well, what's meant to be will be.

 

3. Everything happens for a reason.

This is DEFINITELY one I'm trying to remember. As much as some things in life and in the world I cannot understand a reason for it, I guess in things like this there are reasons for this.

 

It's pretty stupid I guess but I'm trying to help myself. Some days I can be okay, then I can break down the next. It's so up and down. When I'm upset and down and negative, I feel as though nothing will get better and I'll never hear from him again. Then when I'm more upbeat and feeling positive I just feel as though I know that regardless of whether we get back together or not in the future, right now he needed to be single and he needed to make mistakes and do all these things for him to ever be able to change his ways. So basically deep down I just feel as though whatever happens in the future, breaking up now was the right thing to do. I also feel like he'll come back to me eventually, but tbh I'm not even sure if I would want him then.

 

It's a mix of emotions and I guess I don't know which will happen. But I thought I'd just share this, maybe it will help someone or maybe someone can relate.

 

Anyway, this board has helped me a lot actually. It helps me to not feel alone and know that people understand how I'm feeling and what I'm going through!

[Limiya]

Thank you for this post.

They are really helpful and i'll keep them in mind when i have my 'moment's of insanity too.

 

Limiya

[Mariana345]

I really like your post. Sometimes just a few quotes can ease our minds. I invite you to learn a little about the Buddhist philosophy (not in the religious context) I think It will help you a lot! I can give you the FOUR NOBLE TRUTHS:

 

1. Life means suffering.

 

2. The origin of suffering is attachment.

 

3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.

 

4. The path to the cessation of suffering.

 

 

 

1. Life means suffering.

 

To live means to suffer, because the human nature is not perfect and neither is the world we live in. During our lifetime, we inevitably have to endure physical suffering such as pain, sickness, injury, tiredness, old age, and eventually death; and we have to endure psychological suffering like sadness, fear, frustration, disappointment, and depression. Although there are different degrees of suffering and there are also positive experiences in life that we perceive as the opposite of suffering, such as ease, comfort and happiness, life in its totality is imperfect and incomplete, because our world is subject to impermanence. This means we are never able to keep permanently what we strive for, and just as happy moments pass by, we ourselves and our loved ones will pass away one day, too.

 

2. The origin of suffering is attachment.

 

The origin of suffering is attachment to transient things and the ignorance thereof. Transient things do not only include the physical objects that surround us, but also ideas, and -in a greater sense- all objects of our perception. Ignorance is the lack of understanding of how our mind is attached to impermanent things. The reasons for suffering are desire, passion, ardour, pursuit of wealth and prestige, striving for fame and popularity, or in short: craving and clinging. Because the objects of our attachment are transient, their loss is inevitable, thus suffering will necessarily follow. Objects of attachment also include the idea of a "self" which is a delusion, because there is no abiding self. What we call "self" is just an imagined entity, and we are merely a part of the ceaseless becoming of the universe.

 

3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.

 

The cessation of suffering can be attained through nirodha. Nirodha means the unmaking of sensual craving and conceptual attachment. The third noble truth expresses the idea that suffering can be ended by attaining dispassion. Nirodha extinguishes all forms of clinging and attachment. This means that suffering can be overcome through human activity, simply by removing the cause of suffering. Attaining and perfecting dispassion is a process of many levels that ultimately results in the state of Nirvana. Nirvana means freedom from all worries, troubles, complexes, fabrications and ideas. Nirvana is not comprehensible for those who have not attained it.

 

4. The path to the cessation of suffering.

 

There is a path to the end of suffering - a gradual path of self-improvement, which is described more detailed in the Eightfold Path. It is the middle way between the two extremes of excessive self-indulgence (hedonism) and excessive self-mortification (asceticism); and it leads to the end of the cycle of rebirth. The latter quality discerns it from other paths which are merely "wandering on the wheel of becoming", because these do not have a final object. The path to the end of suffering can extend over many lifetimes, throughout which every individual rebirth is subject to karmic conditioning. Craving, ignorance, delusions, and its effects will disappear gradually, as progress is made on the path.

 

 

Hope this will help you as has helped me

[idkxxx]

I guess I should re read this when I'm having my down moments like earlier today! Glad to have helped you too xo