what do you do when you feel alone ?

[Doc Blaze]

Ive been finding myself feeling lonely lately. Ive been working a lot of hours since the break up probably about 60 hours a week plus i go to school 2 nights a week.But lately ive been dreading going home to my apartment and the weekends... I try to go over and hang out with my mom and dad some nights and watch like the Voice and college football or NFL with my dad but it kinda gets boring after while and they go to bed pretty early now...

 

Idk ive never felt like this before. I feel like i lost everyone in a short amount of time and i dont know really how to make friends anymore.

 

my close friends always want to go to these expensive clubs and drink and i quit drinking a lot and just dont want to spend money like i used to anymore..my 2 best friends both moved away to other states and even though i talk to them daily its still not the same as them being here with me..

 

Im used to having friends around....having roommates and now i go home to an empty apartment every night and it sucks so bad....

 

 

how can i get out of this funk..i try to go out when i can but i really dont look forward to anything anymore really. Feeling really depressed

[MasterPo]

Feeling alone eh? I exercise alot. Not because I like it or that it even feels good, it's just something that kills time and makes me feel better. At least for a day or so. If I get too lonely then I go for a drive and do something I normally wouldn't do. Some of my stunts are fairly goofy but it kept me busy and pining away for something I couldn't have. Some would find company in hot women but why throw gas on the fire, I'll wait until I'm ready. I wish you well and who knows, your next love might be a football fanatic and you may have to switch teams. lol

[Doc Blaze]

lmao never switch football teams..and i used to go for rides in my car...it was my stress reliever....i destroyed 3rd gear in my tranny and have not been able to work on it since being promoted at work and working longer hours...just talking with someone..going to grab a bite to eat..anythinggggg..i feel like i lost people who i can just call up and be like i just need to vent or just need someone to be around to talk to...

[Your Prince]

I lost those people too. I know how it feels to be isolated, stuck in an empty room with nothing but your emotional demons. Just set daily & if you can, weekly goals for yourself. Strive to make yourself more physically fit, pursue a hobby, keep working on your career (just dont overwork yourself). You'll always come out a stronger person on the other side.

[Doc Blaze]

Im trying to get back into the gym..but with working a lot of hours i kinda lost that drive i used to have to hit the gym hard..now its kinda like meh i dont know if i want to go..but i keep on looking back at pics like 2 years ago when i took the state trooper test and im like wow...i look amazing..thats another thing i dont really feel good about myself right now..i kinda let my self go these past few months.

[Your Prince]

Just workout 3-4 days a week. Running/cardio if you want to lose alot of weight & weight lifting if you want to gain muscle. It only takes a year to get yourself back into great shape, as long as you stick to it. On the other hand, alot of people use food as a comfort when they're emotionally hurting. if that's your crutch, it's okay to keep it for a little while, as long as it doesn't get out of hand or stick around indefinitely.

[Doc Blaze]

yeah i know..my dad still lifts daily and is in great shape..he offers to train with me but like i said before i just gotta get out of this funk and get back in there

[MasterPo]

It happens. I'm fairly buff but nothing compared to my days in the Corps. At least I think so. lol

 

Small goals, I agree with that it gives the sense of accomplishment. Probably a guy thing but it works. What's interesting is just when you think you got a grip, she'll either call or text. Ugh.

[Your Prince]

^^^ ^^ +1 to that

 

I'm hitting a road bump in my life right now too. I can't wait to see how I grow from my hardships though. escaping a rut is not the easiest thing, but you're never too far from your happiness.

[Doc Blaze]

^^^ ^^ +1 to that

 

I'm hitting a road bump in my life right now too. I can't wait to see how I grow from my hardships though. escaping a rut is not the easiest thing, but you're never too far from your happiness.

me to man i def agree

 

It happens. I'm fairly buff but nothing compared to my days in the Corps. At least I think so. lol

 

Small goals, I agree with that it gives the sense of accomplishment. Probably a guy thing but it works. What's interesting is just when you think you got a grip, she'll either call or text. Ugh.

 

 

Yeah def understand. I have to start somewhere and at some point i have no choice. and your right about the text and callthe other week she called out of no where saying she wanted to return my apartment key like i wanted and she had something to give me...thought it was weird but since it was my b day and we kinda of didnt end on that bad of a note, i thought it was a small b day present...so she kept on saying if you want your present you will be there..i contacted her best friend who i am close with and her friend said the guy she was talking to and getting close with didnt work out because she didnt end up liking him as much as she though so she was going to try to hook up with me that night and see if i take her back. the same girl who stated we both needed to move on and this and that..but i went out that night because i had plans..dont have time for games anymore

[itsallgrand]

There is a memo to myself on my cell phone from a time when I felt exactly like this. It says "I need something to look forward to and be hopeful for".

 

It helped me start to move in that direction. I started looking for those things, thinking about it, dreaming about it....it started to crowd out more and more other thoughts. And now, it still serves as a good reminder. Because life, it's hard sometimes, for the typical person. We work a lot. We are isolated a lot, by the very nature of society right now. It takes effort to have a life with connections, with meaning.

 

I've no doubt you'll find your way back to where you want to be, and you won't have so many moments of feeling like this.

 

In the meantime? Please know you aren't alone, even if you feel lonely sometimes. I really think...from my experience...that when you open yourself and become available for *whatever it is you need and want here*...it has a way of coming to you, and fast. I'm not a new agey person, but it's surprised me more than once, enough times for me to think there is something to this....once you want it and are willing to open to it fully, it comes.

 

It's totally possible that right now, you like these sort of walls (in a way, that's what a life like this can be indicative of). When it gets too uncomfortable, you'll find a way out.

 

It's the obvious - but feelings of real loneliness - the best remedy is forcing yourself out doing things with people, even when you don't feel like it. It's honestly surprising sometimes...but there are so many people out there just craving interaction too.

[gtnovru]

Okay I feel like I'm having to rebuild... after my recent BU, I've realized I'm practically friendless and didn't have a life outside of my boyfriend...

 

But if you don't have an established social circle... How do you get one?? I've made attempts recently but everything's been a bust/disappointment... Any advice??

[SoLost12]

I love volunteering & find that I meet alot of cool people, from all walks of life. Many volunteer on a regular basis, so we get to know each other after a little while. Sometimes we coordinate projects... and afterwards go have coffee or dinner. It sounds like you need to build a new friend base, which is exciting! Sometimes we forget that we've changed, grown and that while our old friends are fantastic in their own right- attracting new people can be a positive reflection of positive changes (cutting our drinking, excessive spending)... It can also surprise you as to how much you may click/be at ease with people you never thought you would have!

 

ANYWAY! The volunteering or joining a group def builds new relationships, and before you know it you'll have some of those call up & vent type people back in your life

 

Check your city's volunteer website for something non-commital if it's your first time & see how you like it!

 

Either way it's a winning experience and helping other always helps with feelings of depression & loneliness

(I say this because I'm going through similar feelings of depression on & off, recent breakup+++, I've also quit drinking recently too...)

[lipstick red]

Work out, volunteer, check out cafes and art galleries, go for a drive, walk on the beach...once your activity book is filled up you don't even have time to feel lonely anymore.

 

In fact you might be screaming for some solitude instead!