Am I too young?

[Thestral]

My fiancé and I just got engaged after 6 years of being together I am so excited about starting our life together! We also bought a house earlier this year which is very exciting, too.

 

I am 24 and my fiancé is turning 24 in a week. We will be 25 and 26 when we get married about a year from now.

 

My question is, in this day and age, does this seem too young to get engaged and then married?

 

While our closest family and friends are absolutely over the moon for us, other people who we don't know as well have made kinda depressing comments when we announced our engagement, e.g. "You're engaged?! Wow you're so young!" or "But you're just a baby!" I am one of the first of my circle of friends to get engaged, and am the youngest family member to get engaged (most of my relatives are 27-32 and haven't married yet, despite being in relationships).

 

Personally, we decided together that this was the perfect time to get engaged. We've both finished university over 2 years ago, both have full-time jobs in stable careers, have bought a house but still have enough back-up savings, have travelled the world extensively, we have both lived away from home (alone, or with roommates) and have had SO many experiences and are both so happy! Plus, who says your life has to stop when you get married anyway?!

 

Also - we don't plan on having kids straight away! Definitely plan on waiting a fair few years before that occurs... TRUST me!

 

What do you think? Would you consider this age too young? 'Cause honestly, living in a city of Australia everyone sees the "norm" for marriage being about 28-30, everyone just seems to consider us way too young!

 

Also please note - I am not trying to validate my decision, I'm just curious as to what others think

 

Thanks in advance!

[Capricorn3]

Age 25 and 26 is not so bad to get married. It could be a lot worse. If you said you were just turning 20 and 21 I would have said that is way too young and to wait a few more years. If you're together for 6 years already, then I don't see it as shocking.

[abitbroken]

You are not too young.

 

I would consider getting married prior to the one year wait if you already have a house together. You sort of put the cart before the horse, no? There is really no point in waiting that long if you are already living together and share property. I would forego the huge wedding since you really should have 6 months of living expenses/income put away just in case something happens. Even if you have stable jobs, that can change in an instant and you need enough saved so that you can live with a little less stress while one or both looks for work. (and live very frugally, but not have the added stress of going hungry)

 

I think its good that you have lived alone and with roommates and didn't jump from your parents house to with eachother.

 

I would also have honest discussions about money, etc, since that sometimes strains relationships.

 

I don't really see any reason why you should be worried about your ages considering what you have said.

[elcie]

It's not about how young you both are, but how mature and ready you are for this next stage in your life together.

 

And you both seem very ready to me.

 

So if the only concern you have is other people's opinions then all I can say is to trust yourself and do what YOU think is right.

 

Best wishes to you both!

[RedDress]

In my personal and very unscientific opinion, I usually think that people should not marry before the age of 25. Why? Because, as you know, before that there are still a lot of life changes that are going to happen. I'm thinking of stuff like finishing school, starting a career, wanting to travel or be free a little before you "settle down".

 

I think you are at the right life stage. You've gone through those steps and you are naturally more "settled" now.

 

In my opinion, you are not too young to get married.

[Thestral]

I would consider getting married prior to the one year wait if you already have a house together. You sort of put the cart before the horse, no? There is really no point in waiting that long if you are already living together and share property. I would forego the huge wedding since you really should have 6 months of living expenses/income put away just in case something happens. Even if you have stable jobs, that can change in an instant and you need enough saved so that you can live with a little less stress while one or both looks for work. (and live very frugally, but not have the added stress of going hungry)

 

Thanks for your reply, abitbroken!

 

We are planning on having a very low-key wedding, but we want to wait 12 months as we have a LOT of important family members overseas who will be back in 12 months time. I'm talking a 23 hour flight away - yes they could fly here and back again but that would be VERY costly and inconvenient so we thought we'd do it in 12 months time when they are all back.

 

We are very lucky that our parents are insisting that they pay for our wedding (not going to be a big wedding, very low key) and we have quite a bit of savings for emergencies - we are fine financially so this is not an issue! So to answer your statement, yes we are forgoing a huge wedding, but we really want to wait 12 months so that we or our families don't have to pay a huge amount in airfares to get them here. We thought this makes the most sense financially

 

Thanks everyone for all of your replies so far!

[goblinshark]

Sounds like you two have a good foundation (stable careers, education completed) for everything. What are you scared of? Age is a number at this point, it's not like dating for a few more years will somehow prepare you for marriage or parenthood. Besides, you shouldn't feel a need to adapt to changing dating/marriage patterns in society. In case you haven't noticed, divorce rates are increasing. It'd probably be better to do the opposite of what they do.

 

Have you two lived together previously? That's the only thing that makes me wary if you haven't. A lot of dynamics change when you start spending *that* much time together.

[Thestral]

Sounds like you two have a good foundation (stable careers, education completed) for everything. What are you scared of? Age is a number at this point, it's not like dating for a few more years will somehow prepare you for marriage or parenthood. Besides, you shouldn't feel a need to adapt to changing dating/marriage patterns in society. In case you haven't noticed, divorce rates are increasing. It'd probably be better to do the opposite of what they do.

 

Have you two lived together previously? That's the only thing that makes me wary if you haven't. A lot of dynamics change when you start spending *that* much time together.

 

Hi goblinshark Thanks for your reply!

 

I'm not really afraid of anything, I'm just slightly affected by the comments that people have made about our age (I know I shouldn't care what others think, but when people are making these comments consistently it's only human nature to have them play on your mind!)

 

Yes we have lived together for a while. When we both first moved out of our family homes, we both lived with roommates until mine moved out and I lived on my own. Then we went and lived abroad for 12 months together. Then when we returned from overseas we began living with each other permanently in Australia

[goblinshark]

Hi goblinshark Thanks for your reply!

 

I'm not really afraid of anything, I'm just slightly affected by the comments that people have made about our age (I know I shouldn't care what others think, but when people are making these comments consistently it's only human nature to have them play on your mind!)

 

Yes we have lived together for a while. When we both first moved out of our family homes, we both lived with roommates until mine moved out and I lived on my own. Then we went and lived abroad for 12 months together. Then when we returned from overseas we began living with each other permanently in Australia

 

Then I'm sure you'll do great. Don't let anyone tell you differently just because you aren't old enough. You're not 16, you're 24, and perfectly capable of making your own decisions.

 

You have to realize that others may be slightly jealous. It sounds like you and your fiance have something really special. Don't let them discourage you.

[SimplyMeee]

It's not about how young you both are, but how mature and ready you are for this next stage in your life together.

 

And you both seem very ready to me.

 

So if the only concern you have is other people's opinions then all I can say is to trust yourself and do what YOU think is right.

 

Best wishes to you both!

 

AMEN to this comment... whatever you do, don't live your life on what others THINK and feel... how do the 2 of you FEEL... do you have peace. I have learned , from my mothers mistakes in life, to NEVER go along with what others wanted, but to DO what I desired within my own image removed ...and his. Maturity is huge in these things. Are you responsible.. do you have the same life goals, vision for your future? Sounds financially you have thought about this.

 

Is it really such a great trend that everyone is getting married later & later... couldn't it be that too many have NO idea what true commitment is today, because of so much casual relationships over & over & over again, that THIS becomes their norm.

 

Sometimes I wonder. But I am a bit Old fashioned in these respects. Search your hearts & go with peace... image removed

[Eaudesource]

Some people are too immature to marry at 35 while others more than ready at 21. Don't focus so much on the numbers but rather on how you feel, and by the sound of it you feel ready to be married.

[deepsea]

My husband and I got married when we were both 25. It's probably considered a bit young, nowadays (average age is 30, where I live). I think it's a good age, as long as you are both mature and responsible, and, most importantly, your directions align.