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Could use some guidance please.


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I feel like I am at the last of my rope. I feel disconnected from everyone. I am turning 40 next year and I feel stuck in a dead end job in property management as my career. I have no relationships because I have a hard time accepting the fact I have walls up when it comes to being intimate. I go through my day from beginning to end miserable. I have no spirituality/religion. I joined NA over 90 days ago and I am healthier than ever, but with this clarity I have seen I have wasted my adult life and I am super insecure. I wanna just die. I used to hate people like myself and often thought if they were that miserable than just go do it. I really didn't want this to happen to me, I made bad choices and feel overwhelmed. HELP!

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My mom is in a similar boat and bless her heart she's 58. She's a property manager too.


There's still lots of time left to live a great life!


You just need a new job and new friends!


Think long about a career that would be satisfying for you and go after it with a vengeance.

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Guidance eh? I can give you plenty as well as others here, trouble is we don't your entire story and what we say may not satisfy whatever answer you are looking for or confuse you. My first thought is midlife crisis? and I'm sure you can find plenty of experts on the topic. As for not being satisfied, most of us aren't and we either bleat about it or take small significant steps towards a goal, no matter how unattainable.


Start stepping. Find something that pleases you, gives you satisfaction and the journey, the start towards it if you will, may be all you need. I wish you luck and it will be okay.

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I honestly believe age is irrelevant, a state of mind, a way of living and it can be changed. Your best years can be ahead of you at 40/50/60 whenever, so you're not happy with the past 40 years? Then make the next 20 amazing, 20 years is a hell of a long time! Obviously that's easier said than done, if we could all change just like that these forums would be pretty empty, but it's worth trying.


Write down what you want to do with your life, and then break that down in to simple daily task you can do to work towards it. For example want to change career, find out what qualifications you need to do whatever it is you want, set aside 30 minutes a day to work towards that, whether it's studying or training etc. Every tiny step will take you towards your goal.


I've really been struggling with the direction my life has taken, or more accurately the direction I have taken my life in. So I'm trying to change, one small step at a time. I've always been sceptical of self help but I've found Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to be a great help, and although I've always been atheist/agnostic (and that wont change) I've found a lot of really helpful teachings in the philosophies of Buddhism, I say philosophies because I honestly don't consider it to be a religion in the sense that other religions are, for example it doesn't deal with if there is a god or not, there are more important things to focus on, like being happy. It's really great stuff and interestingly the core principle of CBT, "Change the way you feel by changing the way you think" is pretty much identical to Buddhist principles such as "The mind is the source of happiness and unhappiness" and "Happiness can only be found within, do not seek it without".


Any way, hope it works out.

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