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A list of do's and don'ts for healing.


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I made this list a couple of nights ago. Most are things that I knew already, but need to remind myself when I'm feeling sad/anxious/weak. A lot of them are things that I had to learn the hard way.


Do not:

- do not check his Facebook, Twitter, Google+ - anything. don’t do it.

- do not text him

- do not call him

- do not check up on him

- do not read things that used to make you happy (that he said or you said about the relationship/each other)

- do not wonder how he’s feeling about you - if he were feeling enough, he’d say so - he hasn't contacted you - if he really wanted to, he would

- do not spend too much time on the computer

- do not listen to "our songs"

- do not let yourself wallow for too long - it's okay for a little while, but know when to stop for today

- don’t be afraid to love what was once ours because it’s still yours (don’t avoid your favourite bands because you know he likes them too - it’s a lot worse when you hear it on accident, but expose yourself for pleasure, not for torture)

- don’t bury thoughts of doubt

- don’t read into things

- don’t read about breakups and feel like you’re better than that - it’s real for you too.

- don’t beat yourself up for your weaknesses

- don’t feed yourself positive reinforcement when you’re sad - you can feel it, but don’t feed it - getting back together is something that you want, but not something that’s promised to you - know the difference



- take care of yourself

- exercise

- buy nice food and cook it

- look through tasty recipes

- spend time outside

- talk with friends

- eat chocolate

- make tea

- write good lists

- read through your list of things that makes you happy

- download/listen to new music

- stretch

- pray

- take a good shower

- acknowledge that you’re progressing - do not check to see how much - those writings are for the past - for getting feelings out not reliving them

- acknowledge that this happened for a reason and you are going to grow and change and be a better person from it

- acknowledge that this is time to be selfish (not at anyone else’s expense, but because you are still awesome)

- define yourself by things that make you you

- be proud of your strengths

- do work on your weaknesses - but don’t make goals for him or to spite him

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  • 3 months later...

yep! very simple rule that worked for me: don't look back (where you will find only pain and unanswered questions etc, those are just wasted times, thoughts, energy, your time, your energy, your life!) look after yourself instead (take care, love yourself and seek for improvement in every aspect of your life, because that will bring you power, self respect and ultimately you will enjoy living again, more than you ever did) what really helped me in my healing it was, that at a point I started to see all my misery as a second chance, I was telling myself if I ever get up from this, for sure I will be stronger than I ever was and it worked, I feel stronger, happier and brighter than ever, so keep up with the good work everyone!

Oh one more thing about working out! I just tried "insanity" its really insanely hard, but its getting me in shape so I love it!!!

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