F63 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Well, I've already made up my mind on what I'm going to do, and I NEVER second-guess myself, but on Wednesday, I'm going to be approaching a girl who's been in one of my classes for a month that I've NEVER talked to, and try and get her number. For obvious reasons, I think this might go bad. If some random guy in one of your classes said something along the lines of "hey, I hope this doesn't sound weird or creepy, but I've seen you in class, and I think you're really cute, and you seem like you're nice and have a cool personality, so I'd like to get to know you better." Would that be really weird? She SEEMS like she's on the shy/sensitive side, but you never know. I mean, for all I know, she has a boyfriend. She's in my class (college), so it does have the potential to get awkward. I think I'm kinda average-looking. I've posted photos here before, but I'm not photogenic at all (plus since then, I've lost a lot of weight). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Don't say anything about it being creepy or weird--keep the rest. Don't stress it, maybe it will work and maybe it won't. Who cares? Give it a shot and good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Cut that super long intro speech and replace it with something totally natural and suited to the class - in other words: Go in with a simple greeting of hello and a big smile, and then perhaps ask some questions related to whatever it is you are studying in that class. Doing this won't come accross as some dude trying it on or off-putting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F63 Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 Well, I thought I should mention the creepy or weird part so that I acknowledge that I may sound creepy, and if so, I don't intend it to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F63 Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 Cut that super long intro speech and replace it with something totally natural and suited to the class - in other words: Go in with a simple greeting of hello and a big smile, and then perhaps ask some questions related to whatever it is you are studying in that class. Doing this won't come accross as some dude trying it on or off-putting. Well, we never do anything in class. Literally, we don't do anything. But I really want to make my intentions clear. I wouldn't mind being her friend, but I'm not trying to be her friend and realistically, when I approach her, she'll probably know that. I'd rather be direct. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Well, I thought I should mention the creepy or weird part so that I acknowledge that I may sound creepy, and if so, I don't intend it to be. I second camus154 - DON'T mention creepy or weird - that alone is already off-putting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Well, we never do anything in class. Literally, we don't do anything. But I really want to make my intentions clear. I wouldn't mind being her friend, but I'm not trying to be her friend and realistically, when I approach her, she'll probably know that. I'd rather be direct. No problem, Have it your way. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F63 Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 I second camus154 - DON'T mention creepy or weird - that alone is already off-putting. Well, I mean, what if she thinks that it sounds creepy? I don't want her to think I'm some weirdo and she needs to be afraid or anything like that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F63 Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 But, I probably should mention that she is not the average girl. She doesn't get approached all the time, she's not outgoing, she's really quiet, shy, and nice. So, while I obviously don't want to sound weird, I think, as long as I'm "sincere" and make my intentions known, I shouldn't have a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Dude, the only thing that will determine whether you come off as creepy or not is whether she's attracted to you. It's not in your control anyway. Don't waste the chance explaining it away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F63 Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 I hope she is, because, while I'd NEVER show it on the exterior, I actually like a lot of the stuff I'm guessing she likes (based on how she acts/portrays herself), like poetry, "deep" music, etc., and I think if we got to know each other, it could turn out well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I don't want her to think I'm some weirdo and she needs to be afraid or anything like that... If you two have been in the same class for a whole month, then you can be sure she's already noticed you (and the rest of the class mates) and made her own assessment by now. It's usually pretty easy to figure people out and get a vibe if they are sincere (or for that matter, creepy), when they share a class for a whole month. She'll either like you, or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natasha24 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 Dude, the only thing that will determine whether you come off as creepy or not is whether she's attracted to you. It's not in your control anyway. Don't waste the chance explaining it away. Exactly. If I'm attracted to a guy, and he comes up to me and says "Hey, you're cute, let's get to know each other", I'd give him my number. If I'm NOT attracted to a guy, and he comes up to me and says "Hey, you're cute, let's get to know each other", I'd be creeped out. Don't say anything about her seeming "nice" and wanting to "get to know her better". The truth is, you think she's hot. She'll know that's the only reason you're talking to her. (Why else would you be talking to a stranger? You don't know anything about her personality) Just be casual, say hello, mention something related to the class or school. When you say something like "I don't want to sound creepy, but..", then you automatically sound creepy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F63 Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 If you two have been in the same class for a whole month, then you can be sure she's already noticed you (and the rest of the class mates) and made her own assessment by now. It's usually pretty easy to figure people out and get a vibe if they are sincere (or for that matter, creepy), when they share a class for a whole month. She'll either like you, or not. Well, it's communications class, so teacher has us do "show-and-tells" (LOL). I don't remember what she brought (should've remembered, would've been convo material...), but one of the things I said made me seem like a completely self-absorbed douchebag, when really I'm not, so I think she might have a negative prejudice about me. EDIT: And I can't just say "hey, you're cute"...that would probably affirm that I AM, in, fact, a douchebag. And how does that logic work? If you're not attracted to him, it automatically sounds creepy? What, is he a mind-reader? You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. I'm not scared of rejection, I just wouldn't prefer it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F63 Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 @Natasha There are certain girls you can just tell how they are by the way they project themselves, that's why I'd say "you SEEM like you have a cool personality". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natasha24 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 @Natasha There are certain girls you can just tell how they are by the way they project themselves, that's why I'd say "you SEEM like you have a cool personality". That still means nothing. I don't mean to be rude - I've approached guys because of their looks before. There's nothing wrong with that. But if a guy comes up to me and says "You seem really nice! I'd like to get to know you", I know it really means "You're hot, I'd like to see you again". That's perfectly fine and I doubt she would be offended at all. Just be honest. I don't suggest saying anything like "You SEEM nice" and "You look like you have a cool personality". Those are just empty/fake compliments to me. I think your best bet is just to say hi and something relevant to the class or the professor or whatever's going on in the course. Don't mention her personality, don't mention being creepy. Just "Hey. What do you plan on bringing for the next [show and tell]? I was thinking of [some random joke here]." And take it from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted September 24, 2012 Share Posted September 24, 2012 I don't suggest saying anything like "You SEEM nice" and "You look like you have a cool personality". Those are just empty/fake compliments to me. I think your best bet is just to say hi and something relevant to the class or the professor or whatever's going on in the course. Don't mention her personality, don't mention being creepy. Just "Hey. What do you plan on bringing for the next [show and tell]? And take it from there. ^ thank you, thank you! lol. Good to see someone else thinks the same way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F63 Posted September 24, 2012 Author Share Posted September 24, 2012 I don't want to be too indirect. From my limited experience, that leads to the friendzone. I want to be successful, obviously, and say the right things, but I still want to be direct. Honestly, I'm not really interested in small talk at this point or "building a rapport", I wanna make my intentions clear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy94 Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 one never knows what they're getting into until they put aside all fear and jump in. worst comes to worst, she ignores you right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F63 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 one never knows what they're getting into until they put aside all fear and jump in. worst comes to worst, she ignores you right?Yeah, I'm not scared to be rejected, i can only see the positives. If she blows me off, I can know to move on to the next girl and not waste my time with her. Whether she blows me off or not, though, at least I can say I tried. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy94 Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Go for it then! you seem like a great guy, and if she rejects you, it's her loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natasha24 Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 I don't want to be too indirect. From my limited experience, that leads to the friendzone. I want to be successful, obviously, and say the right things, but I still want to be direct. Honestly, I'm not really interested in small talk at this point or "building a rapport", I wanna make my intentions clear. But without small talk or building a rapport, she's still a stranger. Why would you want to date a stranger, without knowing anything about them? At this point, small talk is necessary to get to know each other. No girl is going to give you her number just because you say hello. It will only lead to the friendzone if she's not attracted to you, and she has probably already decided whether or not she's attracted to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F63 Posted September 25, 2012 Author Share Posted September 25, 2012 But without small talk or building a rapport, she's still a stranger. Why would you want to date a stranger, without knowing anything about them? At this point, small talk is necessary to get to know each other. No girl is going to give you her number just because you say hello. It will only lead to the friendzone if she's not attracted to you, and she has probably already decided whether or not she's attracted to you. Well, I do already know some things about her from her body language, how she carries herself, and how she talks. I know that she's nice, sensitive, and I'm not 100% sure, but she doesn't seem like an idiot. And I'd go on a date to get to know her. Isn't that basically what first dates are for? Makes things a whole lot less awkward, since you have things to talk about, in my opinion. And you're probably right, she's probably already decided, so why BS around with small talk that realistically won't accomplish anything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy94 Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F63 Posted September 29, 2012 Author Share Posted September 29, 2012 Well, I kinda wussed out. I was planning on doing it, but I got really nervous. However, when I saw her in class on Monday, when I was planning on doing it, something about her was different. I dunno if it was her hair, her makeup, or what she was wearing, but something lessened my attraction to her by a lot. I dunno what it was, but that played a part in why I didn't approach her. I just really didn't want to because I suddenly (somehow) lost tremendous amount of attraction to her over just a weekend. However, there is a girl that I have class with on Mondays that I sit next to that is extremely nice and cute. But, she's too pretty to NOT have a boyfriend, and, I may be wrong, but I think I saw her eyeing up another guy in the class, so I don't want to make things awkward. But, I still will continue to small talk her, as she does have two other really hot friends in the class that I've talked to a bit (though not as much). I'm really attracted to her, and hopefully, as we talk more, I can see if the feeling may be mutual. That's really the only class I talk in besides the other class with the girl in the OP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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