Desperately want to get back with my ex

[pingu11]

Hi all

 

I broke up with my ex around 3 weeks ago. We were together for 16 months.

 

She is the love of my life and my soul mate. I ended things primarily due to stress. I have been mortified ever since. I tried for 2 weeks to get her back and she seemingly wasn't interested. I don't know why I did it, but I slept with my previous girlfriend! I have since stopped things with her now.

 

Me and the ex met up at the weekend for a chat. We both love each other so much and she knows I slept with the other girl. She said she is happy to be friends for 2 weeks or so, to give her time to think. She's unsure if she can trust me again, because I hurt her so badly.

 

The last 3 weeks have been the worst in my life. I've been a total mess!

 

We are talking again now though in a calm a rational way.

 

I've told her I want to try again - she is still thinking!

 

So - my question to you lovely people is.........do you think she'll take me back?

[ToF]

Well, it's certainly possible that she'll take you back. But be prepared in case she decides not to try again.

 

My concern is that your thoughts and feelings seem to be all over the map. You (1) broke up "primarily due to stress" -- what do you mean by that? Then, you say you (2) immediately regretted the decision to break up, but then you still (3) slept with your other ex-girlfriend. That sequence of events took place in less than three weeks, and they do not point to someone who is ready to re-enter a relationship and re-commit to someone. I get the feeling that if you get back together now, without taking the time to sort out the "why"s and the "how"s of your breakup, you will end up having the same problems all over again.

 

Be smart about this, okay? Don't just rush back into things (if she does indeed take you back) just because you're desperate.

[Mariana345]

Well, I should say that if it was me I wouldn't even talk to you, which can be actually good for you since she still want to be friends despite the hurt she is feeling.

 

I don't know if she would take you back, but you have to rebuilt the trust for that to happen, and that just work out with actions, not words. But in the meantime you should respect her space. Remember that you hurt her deeply (put yourself in her shoes).

 

I have to ask though if you sleeping with this girl was the reason you broke up? or was just a collateral damage after the actual break up?

[pingu11]

Thank you both for your replies.

 

I think I slept with the other girl out of anger/trying to move on. I'm in my 40's but can act very immaturely at times!

[markie6]

Do you think you deserve another chance ?

[FreeFallFeelin]

If she's your "soulmate" you probably would have seen her as a source of comfort in your time of stress, and you certainly wouldn't have slept with the previous ex right after dumping your "soul mate". Apologies are little consolation for hurtful actions.

[Ms Darcy]

Thank you both for your replies.

 

I think I slept with the other girl out of anger/trying to move on. I'm in my 40's but can act very immaturely at times!

 

I thought you were 20 from your first post. Honestly, I would not, but who knows what is in your ex's head.

[ToF]

Thank you both for your replies.

 

I think I slept with the other girl out of anger/trying to move on. I'm in my 40's but can act very immaturely at times!

 

In what other ways do you act immaturely? Honestly, if I were her, I would see your actions as a sign that you're not at all ready for the kind of commitment that an adult relationship requires.

[pingu11]

We're talking again now and text each other a lot in the day. She even phoned me last night and most evenings we play online games!

 

She says she need space and that she wants to give it a couple of weeks to see if she can trust me again. We're seeing each other at the weekend.

 

I love her so much and miss her so badly. Fingers crossed eh?