Some advice to girls on dating sites

[Deejmonster]

I think its important to include a variety of pics. Anytime I only see face pics I immediately assume that there is something wrong that they are trying to hide. I also have had someone who arrived to a date and looked about 40 pounds heavier than what they looked like online. I don't understand why people do this. We are going to find out when we meet you. Normally when I come into situations like this I tend to ask for a last name and do some research via facebook. A lot of people don't privatize themselves and you can easily pull up their profile and do some recon about who you are meeting. Knowledge is power. Correct me if I am wrong...

[annie24]

This has happened to me recently. I was sort of angry when i saw her, and i was pretty quiet throughout the whole date. All her pics was thin and sexy, in person she was pretty big. I felt tricked and manipulated, and i just counted the time until it was appropriate to say' 'goodbye, nice meeting you'. I had friends tell me i should have just left, because she lied to my face. If you want to avoid weird situations like this, then put up pics of your body. My bestfriend is a bit thick, and shes attracting very attractive men who love that shape.

 

I think you did the right thing. At least stay for one coffee or drink. be polite. then say thanks, take care. I think to do as your friends suggested would be pretty rude. Your way is classier.

 

I heard about a story (who knows if it is true or not, could be!!) where a woman (about 30) agreed to meet a guy who was a bit out of her age range (45). but she liked his photo, so ok. she got to the restaurant, and he wasn't there. finally this old man (75!) approached her and said that he was the guy, but he knew she wouldn't want to meet him with his photo, so he used a photo of his son!! The woman stayed for a drink, then left. she said she would have left sooner but was raised to respect her elders!

[Thorshammer]

On facebook you can use friendship finder on your phone, it will find their facebook based on their number (I cant do this on my pc for some reason when i search their phone number). I have dodged a lot of wasted time that way.

 

I personally dont think its rude to ask for another pic. I get asked that all the time. I do notice that people who are more attractive tend to ask for more pics, while the person who isnt that attractive in person doesnt.

[annie24]

I read once that men lie about income and height, and women lie about age and weight. whenever i meet a guy online, most of the time, they are 2 inches shorter than what their profile states. I don't think they are so much lying as they are 'wishful thinking' lol. guys - i think you should expect a woman is a bit chunkier than her photos. and if she isn't, yay!

[Deejmonster]

I read once that men lie about income and height, and women lie about age and weight. whenever i meet a guy online, most of the time, they are 2 inches shorter than what their profile states. I don't think they are so much lying as they are 'wishful thinking' lol. guys - i think you should expect a woman is a bit chunkier than her photos. and if she isn't, yay!

 

Haha I dont understand why?! I have no lies on my profile. I also leave on financial stuff.. I dont want it to send the wrong message. I dont understand why people do this... we are going to find out!

[Thorshammer]

I read once that men lie about income and height, and women lie about age and weight. whenever i meet a guy online, most of the time, they are 2 inches shorter than what their profile states. I don't think they are so much lying as they are 'wishful thinking' lol. guys - i think you should expect a woman is a bit chunkier than her photos. and if she isn't, yay!

 

I was actually told by my ex that she claimed i lied about my height, that i added 2 or 3 inches (i think she was just defensive since i found out she was still married and lied about it). She must have taken a hit of crack, because i am exactly the height i posted, she just doesnt understand rulers.

 

Now, i have met women who were taller than their height posted. I can tell the difference between 5'4'' and 5'9'' lol. I dont think they lied, i just think they werent heighted recently.

[Thorshammer]

When i talk to someone online, i have on my profile and i say on the phone, that i like small petite women, and i dont budge. No one has been turned off or stopped talking to me except for those that knew they didnt fit this criteria. i am chatting with two women now, and they are both really thin and have full body pics.

[annie24]

I was actually told by my ex that she claimed i lied about my height, that i added 2 or 3 inches (i think she was just defensive since i found out she was still married and lied about it). She must have taken a hit of crack, because i am exactly the height i posted, she just doesnt understand rulers.

 

Now, i have met women who were taller than their height posted. I can tell the difference between 5'4'' and 5'9'' lol. I dont think they lied, i just think they werent heighted recently.

 

hmm.... i'm suspicious now, lol!!!

[Sweetkisses22]

Most of the things on your list can be said for men as well. 85% of the guys on pof are shirtless trying to show off their muscles. Theres always guys who only take pics of the side of their face instead the frontal portion. Its like theyre covering what they look like basically. No woman wants to see just the side of your face. And then the rest of their pics they're always covering something on their face. Theres never just a normal portrait shot of themselves. Then there are the guys who only have body pics or only have facial pics. I could go on..basically you guys are not innocent either.

 

Ps...

 

Im one of those girls who takes pics in the mirror. Dont hate. Not all pics in the mirror are decieving. It just depends how its angled. The pics i take are from my waste up and not angled. So you can see my natural figure without it being obscured. I also have normal candid body pics as well to go by. So its not all women who take mirror pics who are liers. The ones usually who do a top angle looking up to the camera only showing boots and top of head are typically the ones you have to watch out for.

[Sweetkisses22]

Your right about th height thing. Almost every guy ive met online or even friends lie about their height. My ex bf whom i met online had his profile saying he was 6'3 and he is really 6'1-6'2ish. I didnt mind considering ik 5'2 and he toppled over me either way haha. Tall men are sexy.

[Sirenia]

What I can't understand about these dating sites is.. why is income even listed on there? Does it really matter? Shouldn't a job description be enough? And people can put anything they want.. Whereas people say if you lie about your height or weight it'll be obvious once you meet them in real life but what about income? Would you demand proof of someone's income (if they stated it as being very high)? I just can't even believe people search for such a ridiculous criteria.

 

and to all the women who search for high incomes, there's no guarantee he'll actually share it with you!

[Deejmonster]

What I can't understand about these dating sites is.. why is income even listed on there? Does it really matter? Shouldn't a job description be enough? And people can put anything they want.. Whereas people say if you lie about your height or weight it'll be obvious once you meet them in real life but what about income? Would you demand proof of someone's income (if they stated it as being very high)? I just can't even believe people search for such a ridiculous criteria.

 

and to all the women who search for high incomes, there's no guarantee he'll actually share it with you!

 

I agree with this. I think that this sort of information needs to be left out of profiles. It can send the wrong message to others... and it might promote "gold diggers". Then again, just becuase you dont make a ton of money doesnt make you any less of a person. Anytime I see this and someone actually puts up their salary range it makes me wonder what their trying to say with it.

[Thorshammer]

hmm.... i'm suspicious now, lol!!!

 

Of what??????

[annie24]

If you are also underestimating your height! Did you get yoursd checked at the doctor's office without shoes?

[laura40]

I don't know if this is related to the topic or not as I've just had a quick browse but there are loads of picky or way too fussy people on dating sites. I've deleted all my profiles so I'm only going off who I used to chat to a while back alongside a couple of my friend's experiences.

I found some guys were always looking for the next best woman. They'd chat to women and meet them, then just reject them for some silly reason and then get straight back on the dating sites looking for someone new.... it's as if they didn't want to delete their profile incase someone 100% perfect came along.

I know this isn't the same for all men so I'm not stereotyping at all (and of course I know women do this too!)

Actually I sort of know a guy who is exactly like that, I know him through work. He is signed up to most of the free dating sites & will find women, date them for a while whilst always keeping his profile active looking out for the next best woman, sigh!

 

I also don't understand why people lie about their height? Why why why do it? It's not like the other person won't notice. I did go on a date a while back and the guy said he was 6foot and he was about 5'8 IRL.

[Thorshammer]

If you are also underestimating your height! Did you get yoursd checked at the doctor's office without shoes?

 

Yeah, and i dont lie about height. My cousins are the same height as me also. I have dated taller women, it never bothered me that i would have to lie, i already explained why she said it in my first post. I actually have a height preference for women too, i do find short women attractive.

[hotnspicychikn]

OK......men that are 40 and looking for women between 18 and 35. Really???!!! As I browse I am amazed by how many guys have something similar to that. This is a big turn off for me. I am 41 and when I was on a dating site I was 40 and my age range for guys was 35 to 45. I mean c'mon....

[Sweetkisses22]

OK......men that are 40 and looking for women between 18 and 35. Really???!!! As I browse I am amazed by how many guys have something similar to that. This is a big turn off for me. I am 41 and when I was on a dating site I was 40 and my age range for guys was 35 to 45. I mean c'mon....

 

This! Hahahaha

 

I cant understand it either...sorry but i already have a daddy.

[Blue Spiral]

OK......men that are 40 and looking for women between 18 and 35. Really???!!!

 

It may shock you to learn that men tend to prefer women that are attractive. And since younger women tend to be more attractive...!

 

(full disclosure: six years ago, when I first logged onto a flirting-oriented social networking site and went window-shopping for women, the age range I put in was 18-45. Twenty years from now, I'm sure I'll still be using that same age-range. I'll have less of a chance, but there are some areas where you just can't compromise.)

[Fudgie]

Guys use that age range because they are usually open to women of most ages. I doubt they will reject a good sounding woman who is within a year of their age. They just want to show that they aren't picky as long as the woman is their age or a bit younger.

[Justpin]

Its simple, as women get older the chances of baggage increases almost exponentially.

 

This baggage might be children or a string of exes which make them bitter.

 

 

 

While on the sexual front, a lot of things have normalised for younger women when I was a teenager, blow jobs simply did not happen, nor anal.

 

But this is considered quite normal thesedays.

[Thorshammer]

OK......men that are 40 and looking for women between 18 and 35. Really???!!! As I browse I am amazed by how many guys have something similar to that. This is a big turn off for me. I am 41 and when I was on a dating site I was 40 and my age range for guys was 35 to 45. I mean c'mon....

 

I have seen early 20s women looking for older 40s men. I myself try to get with women 5 years younger than me.

[annie24]

I don't think 5 or 10 years is unreasonable. More than 20? Hm. There could be a huge difference in life stages. Or it could work. My friend married a man 20 years older and they are very compatible and happy together. He also looks young for his age.

 

18-35 is the default on match if I am not mistaken. Some people are too lazy to change it?

[Natasha24]

I also don't understand why people lie about their height? Why why why do it? It's not like the other person won't notice. I did go on a date a while back and the guy said he was 6foot and he was about 5'8 IRL.

 

This drives me CRAZY!! I think guys do it because they hope if they say they are taller, the girl will agree to meet him, and once she meets him, she'll be impressed with his personality so she won't care about his height? I don't know.

I'm only 5'4", so height really isn't a big deal to me. But I couldn't stand meeting guys off dating sites who lied about their height. It made me think "If he's willing to lie about something so ridiculous like height, what else is he going to lie about?"

 

Oddly enough I have a very low profile job, I have my own catering company. Hours are long, work is boring. People from all walks of life look down on you. A lot of people think that because you're working in such a low job that some how I am stupid or something.

 

Its a very ugly trait some people have. I think it stems from insecurity of others, though of course what do I know?

 

I've had this problem too. My dating profile said I went to university and have a Masters degree (which is true). Then when guys find out I work in a minimum wage/manual labour job, they look down on me. I always get weird comments about how I'm young/fit/pretty but I work in a job designed for a man, and it's like they are belittling me for it. I really hate that. I do my job because I love it, not because the pay is great or because it requires a certain level of education.

[hotnspicychikn]

I never had any touble with men contacting me and being interested even when I was not in their age range but it definitely makes it less likely that I will talk to them. I was married to a man 9 years younger so I honestly have no issues with a certain age gap. Yes some women prefer older men as well. Everyone is entitled to their preference. I guess I just prefer someone near my age range and with a similar amount of life experience and someone who prefers the same.