She Called

[mariner310]

So my ex called me twice back to back the other day. I didn't answer because I just feel like hearing her voice would set me back from the current position I'm in. She text me and said "I just wanted to see how you were doing" and then again saying "sorry for bothering you." I replied later on that day saying I was sorry I couldn't back to her because I was working but I got no response. I'm feeling a little confused, I don't know weather to call her or just leave it alone like I've been doing? I knew she was going to reach out at some point, I just wasn't ready to talk to her yet.

 

I don't want her to think I'm being prideful or anything or that I'm giving her the cold shoulder either but how could I get that point accross? I'm finally starting to gain some clarity and I just think that getting back into contact with her would make it harder for me to move on and I would just be going backwards. I want her to realize that with me not around will make her gain some perspective on things. I feel it's the best thing to do. Tell me what you guys think. Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any replies.

 

For all those people out there that are going through heartache and struggle, you're not alone. Everything happens for a reason and life is too short to live in misery. Take up new hobbies, improve yourself, reconnect with friends, find god, wake up & live.

[ToF]

Honestly, I think she was looking for attention. She wanted to see if you'd respond to her. It was a crappy game for her to play...I'm sorry.

[Loveandlost]

This is the problem with the NC game, she now believes she put the ball into your court. If you dont make any effort she will assume you dont wish to communicate at all anymore.

 

Its up to you, if you are considering allowing her back in your life dont play games and see where it goes.

 

if you dont want her in your life dont contact.

[markie6]

+1 to that TOF People should never worry about appearing to give the cold shoulder , it's only cold because there is a knife sticking into it

[leonardo5]

If you consider there is a chance to come back and start again then call her back.

If you think it’s totally over don’t.

Only you know the answer.

I stayed in similar situation, it was completely over and it was hard; but I’m still alive and got another gf about 1 1/2 year later.

Good luck

[MagicForest]

When dumpers call, I don't think it's necessarily because they want attention. I've done this with my ex in the past, and it was because I was genuinely wanting to see how he was doing and because I cared. If you don't want to remain in contact and don't want any friendly check-ins either (however well intentioned they may be), just tell her. If she truly respects you and cares for you, she will understand and comply.

[mariner310]

When dumpers call, I don't think it's necessarily because they want attention. I've done this with my ex in the past, and it was because I was genuinely wanting to see how he was doing and because I cared. If you don't want to remain in contact and don't want any friendly check-ins either (however well intentioned they may be), just tell her. If she truly respects you and cares for you, she will understand and comply.

 

I understand and I comepletely agree with you. I know she was genuinely wanting to see how things were going with me, I just hope that she's not upset. I wanted to text her right now and just let her know how I feel but I'm not sure if that's such a good idea. I still care for her and I do want to see how she's doing but I'm honestly afraid of being rejected. I'm in a lot of pain right now just thinking about everything.

[PH88]

I understand and I comepletely agree with you. I know she was genuinely wanting to see how things were going with me, I just hope that she's not upset. I wanted to text her right now and just let her know how I feel but I'm not sure if that's such a good idea. I still care for her and I do want to see how she's doing but I'm honestly afraid of being rejected. I'm in a lot of pain right now just thinking about everything.

 

The feelings you two share are still powerful, but you have to realize that is over, and the fact she contacted you without replying indicates nothing. From what I can see you are not fully healed to contact her, so I would advise against doing it. You are still hurt and talking to your ex hurt like you are is not going to fix anything, especially if she rejects you.

 

Just relax man, you got a life NOT centered around her. Keep yourself busy and if she keeps calling and/or texting ignore it unless she provides ample evidence she wants to get together. And if that happens by then hopefully you are better healed, because if you are in the state you are in now and try to get back with her the emotions are going to blind your logic. Focus on yourself, nothing less such as your ex.

[More Joyous]

I'm in a lot of pain right now just thinking about everything.

 

Your not the only one buddy who is in a lot of pain. Wish you all the best in healing

[markie6]

Mariner... re read your other threads and let us know if anything has really changed since BU ? Sorry for your pain, but that itself , means you're not ready imo