I feel so dumb and pathetic :(

[idkxxx]

I feel so stupid, I've only joined here for a few days and this is already my third post

 

I'm just lost. I go from being okay to being miserable. I miss him so much. Today would have been our anniversary. It hurts so much to know that he's over me, that he doesn't care that I'm not around and that he hasn't bothered contacting me. It's only been a few days since I started NC but still. It's been a month since we broke up and I feel pathetic that I'm still this upset.

 

I don't know how to move on.

[markie6]

Keep yourself busy... hobbies , friends or anything to take your mind off the pain. Now a month of being dragged around after the rs has ended is no bigee, most of us here have done the same thing. It's important to focus on you now. No more staring at your old emails, fakebook , sms etc. It's perfectly normal to feel downhearted at this time, but don't beat yourself up about it too much.

 

Get active, get out for a good walk, visit friends and families ( ask for no informtation about them if you have mutual friends) ..find a hobby to give you something else to focus on... all these things can make it all a little easier. NC gives you the best chance to heal , to process all your thoughts , all the reasons why this particular RS failed , so you can apply the lesson learned to the next 1

 

keep your head up ... and don't let somebody else make you feel worthless. You will get through this, plus don't worry about how many threads you start , post here often, write your whole story out until you become sick of reading it, read others stories and the advice they were given etc

[stuka80]

A month old breakup is no time at all. I dont mean to discourage you, just showing you the reality. Me personally i didnt fully get over my ex whom i was in love with til probably close to a year after the breakup and i went complete NC absolutely no contact with her except for an incident about a month after the break. I went a bit extreme, threw away everything that reminded me of her and told people i didnt want to hear about her. Only then and again, about a year later was i truly free emotionally. Im not saying it will take you as long as it took me to get over your ex, but at least give yourself some more time. Best of luck, i know how you feel.

[Keyman]

idk...

 

Give yourself a break. What you are feeling is pretty normal. And since most of us on this site came here because of a break up, we've all been through it. No doubt you have had some amazing advice so far, so just keep coming back and we'll be here for you.

 

Now, you are going through a breakup that is only a month old. So, unfortunately, you are still early in the recovery phase. You do have to believe that it will get easier as it goes along and the more you spend here the easier it should be. The good ole cliche, time will heal is actually pretty true, but healing is different for everyone and we all get over things at different speeds.

 

For many of us, helping others through their issues actually helped ourselves to recover. So just in there and be part of the community, you might be surprised.

 

You are feeling depressed because he has not contacted you on your anniversary. This does not mean he is over you or that he doesn't care. This may mean that he believes it better to not contact you for his own healing. Unfortunately, and depending on how long the relationship was, you might swing back and forth for a while. Again, know this is normal. Breakup hurts, we cry, we get depressed, we ramble on about our ex until we are ready to move on.

 

And moving on will happen in its own time, when you are ready to. You are still mourning the relationship, and that is fine. But once you click out of it and start to feel the sun on your skin again, you will start to move on naturally. Until that begins, go easy on yourself and keep talking to us...

[idkxxx]

Thanks both of you!

 

Yeah, I put a lot of pressure on myself to be moved on already. I just see him and he seems fine and happy and doesn't seem to care and then I'm a mess half the time. I guess I should just let it happen when it happens. He was my first love, I don't know if that makes any difference.

 

Thanks heaps!

[markie6]

First cut is usualy the deepest and because you have no other frame of reference ( practice ) you will find it a little harder. I still thought of my first love, years later.... they are often the hardest to get over but as is often the case, never likely to last. There are usualy 3 you find it hardest to get over.... the first , the best and the most recent.... when you are young... they are all happening at the same time. When you look back at it years from now , you might even notice , it wasn't really love at all.

Thanks both of you!

 

Yeah, I put a lot of pressure on myself to be moved on already. I just see him and he seems fine and happy and doesn't seem to care and then I'm a mess half the time. I guess I should just let it happen when it happens. He was my first love, I don't know if that makes any difference.

 

Thanks heaps!

[idkxxx]

I hope so. Thanks so much!