I've lost all purpose and drive for anything.

[simply]

I feel like I've hit a wall. I feel like I can't see purpose in anything. Everything I do feels like a chore. I've lost all purpose and belief in anything. I sometimes wonder what it is that keeps me going.

 

I was having financial troubles for several years due to debt from poor money management. It basically prevented me from going to school, so no formal education. It forced me to work mickey mouse jobs to barely get me through life. It also prevented me from fixing my teeth which grew to be much worse as the years went on. I was even too broke to afford my G license test, so that expired.

I figured these were obviously the reasons I was depressed and afraid of social interactions(which I still am). So fast forward a few months later and I'm working a job that pays 5k a month, I finally got my braces, payed down my debt, got my license and my truck back on the road.

Despite the these "accomplishments", I still feel completely miserable. I'm moving in the right direction for once, but I don't feel happy at all. I feel just as depressed and anti social as I did when things were at their worst.

 

I have no education and no set skill, other than wasting time. I want to be great at something, but I don't know what that something is and even if I did, I have no drive to do it. Everything I do, even if beneficial, still feels like a chore. I feel like no matter what I do, or how far I go, I'll never be happy. Not to say that I will stop pushing forward, but I don't know how much longer I can hold out. I feel like this is all just nonsense.

 

Don't really know what I'm asking for, just trying to make sense of what I'm feeling.

[Lawrencium123]

I'm not religious but in Buddhism they teach that the source of all misery is desire. By wanting things, you create the opportunity to not get them, which leads to disappointment. Now this doesn't mean stop trying, it means you have to learn to be content with what you have even if you have nothing. And once you stop being ruled by desire you free your mind to actually do positive things and no matter what, you will be happy. Maybe have a look around here link removed

 

You may also find cognitive behavioural therapy helpful link removed

[blueidealist24]

I'm glad you finally achieved some things like getting a well-paying job and your license back. I think you might still feel bad since you had to go through a lot of hardship and now you're tired. I just got a decent job but I spent nearly five months unemployed before that, so I still don't feel that great even though I like the job. I feel tired from the job SEARCH itself and depressed, like feeling that it shouldn't have been THAT hard. I think in time as things keep going quite well for you the feelings will go away. I've had periods like that before and the bad feelings did eventually go away. They're starting to leave me now too, as this new job goes on, but they haven't completely left me yet.

[Janeiac]

Simply, it's possible that you got accustomed to feeling crappy and now it's a habit. Take some time to get adjusted, and to build a rainy-day fund and you may find that the security you will have will manifest in feeling relaxed and good.

 

You may also want to look into taking some classes; you may even be able to get financial aid. You could go to school part time and graduate in, say, 5-6 years, or don't go and be in the same spot you are 5-6 years from now.