Anyone else moped this weekend over ex/BU?

[gtnovru]

Anyone else here moped this weeked over ex/BU?

 

I'm so tired of feeling this way. Tired of thinking about the past 24/7, tired of wishing I could turn back time, tired of thinking about how awful he was to me... and how if only I could do everything over again, tired of hurting from him not wanting to be with anymore, tired of still loving him, tired of having sex dreams about him, tired of wishing he still loved me, tired of the gut wrenching thoughts that he will soon have someone else, if not already...

 

All these thoughts... made me mope in bed almost all weekend, trying to sleep through it all. I hate this. I hate him for doing this to me.

 

Did anyone else mope too? I've yet to get CRAZY BUSY with my life... if I worked hard to fill every second of every day with something... will that help a lot?

[zyz30]

I've been right there with you all weekend. My ex was out having the time of her life this weekend with all her new friends and a whole bunch of guys she's become friends with ever since we broke up. I sat in bed all weekend hoping and praying that she didn't do anything that would hurt me if I knew about it. I guess she figured out the grass really is greener.

 

I've tried to keep myself busy, but no matter what I do, the thought of her is always in my head.

[TheNewGuy]

Staying busy 24/7 doesn't help me. Sure I'm accomplishing things, but she's always on my mind. I guess that's the real point to staying busy in the first place. Just to move forward in life and maybe that will lead to something better. It sure won't stop the thoughts though.

[C_Unknown2005]

Im crazy busy with my life currently and having down days are nice. Just let these feelings hit you... Once you get it out of your system plan a trip next weekend! For now, just go some where to be social a coffee shop, a mall, hell even a grocery store.

 

C

[Loveandlost]

I was this way friday and saturday.. Started reading threads about people still suffering years later and made the mental decision to force myself to stop. Yes i will fall back and have to stop myself again but eventually those grieving periods will get shorter and shorter. Allow yourself to feel but know when to stop

[Limiya]

I haven't been moping around in bed all weekend, even though i want to.

I've been to a party in the park, been out Salsa dancing till 3am.

The only time i allowed myself to mope was this morning for a couple of hours after an awful nightmare about him.

Of course i miss him. I've spent every spare minute i can with friends or family, to help take my mind from things.

 

It's hard but it helps me.

I do want to mope though, but it hurts more.

Limiya

[gtnovru]

See, for me, I've had TOO many of these down days and not enough busy days. I've had probably any unhealthy amount of down days. So I'm done. Time to get awesome again.

 

I agree with going somewhere to be social... like I did some reading this weekend, but alone at home - I should've gone to a coffee shop or bookstore to read, instead of being a hermit.

[eggsandcheese]

I've been moping all weekend. I had to be the one to break up and that was over a month ago. I love him, I just don't think it will work out. So anyway, I'm watching way too much TV, eating not-so-great-for-me foods, and spending a lot of time on the computer reading these threads. It will get better. I hope

[C_Unknown2005]

Another thing is sometimes to detach from ENA, I find this to be helpful sometimes when your using the forums as a crutch and keeping you in limbo with things just from my experience.

 

C

[T99]

Saturday I tried toplay football (I used to help run the team but that has been lost in all of this). Ex was on mind throughout and when I managed to score and got mobbed by my teammates loads of emotion came out and I had tears in my eyes, it was horrendous.

Completely moped today, thought it about time I had one day of not doing anything except maybe some walks and staying at home. Has just meant I have obsessed all day with memories of our time together, won't spend a day with nothing planned again.

[Loveandlost]

Allow yourself to feel but do something positive after. Dont let depression win

[gtnovru]

Yep, I've been letting depression win for sure. It's awful.

 

I hate my ex for doing this to me. So to "get back" at him PLUS for myself of course (I know for myself is more important)...

 

We need to rebuild a good life for ourselves, instead of moping in the misery they handed us.

[sb12]

I went an angry cycle this weekend. I was doing so well, but it might have been triggered by the roommate bringing over a friend so all of them (the ex, the roommate, the friend) were around all the time, so I've been seeking refuge in my room to fight feeling overwhelmed. I don't even really know where the anger came from, especially since I got to finally hang out with a new person in this new city that I'm in, but I was just in quite a foul mood all weekend.

[gtnovru]

I went an angry cycle this weekend. I was doing so well, but it might have been triggered by the roommate bringing over a friend so all of them (the ex, the roommate, the friend) were around all the time, so I've been seeking refuge in my room to fight feeling overwhelmed. I don't even really know where the anger came from, especially since I got to finally hang out with a new person in this new city that I'm in, but I was just in quite a foul mood all weekend.

 

You live with your ex??

[SoLost12]

Me too, had alot of things planned this weekend- just stayed in bed instead. cancelled everything. over sleeping- nightmares, eating randomly, nothing that feels good. Half marathon watching episodes of television while having obssesive thoughts about moments we had together / fantasies of him coming back & apologizing- wanting me back. I hate to admit it, but the evil kind where his relationship with her comes to a horrible end and he really regrets what he's done. Or at realizes what he did. Cant get him out of my head. Hate it. Want to rise above not wishing him well thing- but really not there yet. Want the brain to burnout on these thoughts already!!! ARGH.

[gtnovru]

Wish there was hypnosis to block out all the good memories of them!

[sb12]

You live with your ex??

 

Unfortunately. I've been looking for a new apartment but it's hard to move out when you don't have the funds!

[gtnovru]

Unfortunately. I've been looking for a new apartment but it's hard to move out when you don't have the funds!

 

Oh bless your heart! I can't imagine having to see my ex like that : (

[freadrik]

I think everyone here should know one thing: Life is to precious to waste one SINGLE day worrying about the past. Use STOP thought process to prevent obsessing (where you shout STOP either aloud or in your head to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts). Get up out of bed and go do something you used to do together alone. No matter how painful. Fight through it and you will have a memory of doing that thing without them. Its no different than the therapy an obsessive compulsive may use to overcome irrational fears. If and obsessive compulsive person continually touches a dirty doorknob and nothing bad happens, eventually the object no longer has that control over them.

 

Also, you can make a punishment for yourself, that actually is good for you.

1.) First have a plan for an activity that follows this routine. I like to play chess so I get online and login to yahoo games to play.

2.) Allow yourself a few minutes to obsess, then use the STOP technique.

3.) If the thought tries to return, do a physical exercise (I do pushups or jump rope.). Then do the STOP again.

4.) Praise yourself for being strong, it works better is you do it aloud. I say, "My life is precious. God loves me despite my failures. I won't waste his gift of life one more second. I am strong through God."

5.) Enjoy the activity you preplanned. And mix it up so it doesnt get boring.

 

There is no way to go back in time, fix anything, or change how another human being feels. Accept that. And accept that you CAN change how you feel. Worry about yourself for a change.

[gtnovru]

Great advice Freadrik...

 

I know it's not good to dwell and ruminate...

 

But sometimes the pain, loneliness and missing them is so overwhelming.

[lorelaijones]

Great advice in here.

I've been feeling the same this weekend.

The good thing is, it will pass. It's just a phase. Everytime I cry, I feel like Im getting it off my system.

At least I hope.

[freadrik]

Yes. Crying is a good thing. I had one of those sobbing cries a week ago and i really felt better in the morning. All part of healing. Gotta stay focused on ourselves and forget the ex and what they might be doing. They obviously dont care what we are doing!

[freadrik]

I know, gtnovru! The pain is excruciating! Don't let it consume you. You are a good person, and good things await you in the future. You are gonna be an awesome catch for someone.

 

For me I have tried to concentrate on why it didn't work, not why I wish it would have worked had I been different or done differet things. I did what I did and that's that. If I was wrong, I accept it and am resolved to change, to be cognizant of that about myself. I alone can change, I can't change anyone else. I can only learn from my own failings and become a better man for the lady who is out there searching for me. There is someone out there right now searching for you. You will meet them. Be confident in yourself. Love yourself and take the time to do the things that make you whole. No one else can do that!

[Keykey]

Im in a total wreck everyday, the thought of him NEVER go away. I dont wish it to go away either. Im thinking of all the mistakes Ive done and why our relationship doesnt work. I wish I hadnt done thing that changed his feeling for me. I need to resolve my issue. There is a devil inside me that I have to fight to let it out from my soul!!

[tness]

I´m sad almost everytime I´m alone. And Im alone most of my time.