Suspicious email

[WizardofOz]

So my girlfriend was at my place this weekend and I let her use my computer off and on throughout the 2 days. I went to use it earlier today - she was still at my place, just not in the room - and her facebook message page was open with a message to one of her good friends, and in the message I saw part that read "and I have some boy stories for you that I want to get your advice on! Let's chat later on". Shortly after reading the message, I casually brought up hypothetical cheating scenarios, and how would she'd react and what would she do about our relationship. Naturally she got a bit worried and asked if I had something to tell her, and I said no I just wanted to joke around and see what she'd say. After that she told me she'd never cheat on me in anyway and has absolutely no interest in anyone else. I know that she loves me, she tells me all the time, and we've seen each other a ton after she sent that message.

 

So what is boggling my mind is what kind of boy stories would she need advice on? Is she talking to her girlfriend/getting advice about me, another friend, or did something happen that she isn't sharing with me? I completely trust her, but this is REALLY bugging me. I want to believe she is referring to stories about me, but I find it weird for her to say "I have boy stories for you" if she was referring to me.

 

FYI: she went out to bars with a few friends twice a few days before she sent this message, but both of those nights she came over to my place afterwards and wasn't acting weird at all.

 

Thoughts?

[MizzGee]

I don't think she's cheating. It sounds like she's talking about you and looking for advice. Maybe something minor happened that is bugging her.. Awkward to stumble upon, but I don't think you should worry.

[Blue92]

You'd be surprised how many things us women find to talk about men. This isn't anything serious, don't worry.

[DN]

I think you should ask her what she meant.

 

BTW, as I said recently on another thread, it is because of this:

You'd be surprised how many things us women find to talk about men.

that many men will not confide anything to their wives and girlfriends and refuse to open up to them.

[pinkelephant]

You'd be surprised how many things us women find to talk about men. This isn't anything serious, don't worry.

 

Yea, the way she worded it, I really dont' think it's anything worth worrying about. And you really shouldn't be reading anything btw.

[nutbrownhare]

You don't really know what she was referring to without asking her - nobody on here is going to have a clue.

 

However, regarding her 'boy stories she wants advice on', asking her how she'd react to cheating, and then treating it as a joke - is sure as hell going to add to her list! I hope this isn't your normal way of communicating, but if it is I can understand why she'd be having some problems working out what you mean, and why she might want to discuss things with someone else.

 

Tell her you inadvertently saw the message, and that you've been a bit concerned ever since. There's nothing like being straightforward!

[DN]

You don't really know what she was referring to without asking her - nobody on here is going to have a clue.

 

However, regarding her 'boy stories she wants advice on', asking her how she'd react to cheating, and then treating it as a joke - is sure as hell going to add to her list! I hope this isn't your normal way of communicating, but if it is I can understand why she'd be having some problems working out what you mean, and why she might want to discuss things with someone else.

 

Tell her you inadvertently saw the message, and that you've been a bit concerned ever since. There's nothing like being straightforward!

Agreed, better this than some ploy that doesn't really get you what you want to know.

[WizardofOz]

Yea, the way she worded it, I really dont' think it's anything worth worrying about. And you really shouldn't be reading anything btw.

 

But if you're a girl, wouldn't you say "I need to talk to you about (insert boyfriend name here)" rather than "I have boy stories I need advice on"?

[WizardofOz]

You'd be surprised how many things us women find to talk about men. This isn't anything serious, don't worry.

 

Agreed. But the fact that she asked for advice regarding these stories leads me to believe it's something suspicious...

[nutbrownhare]

But if you're a girl, wouldn't you say "I need to talk to you about (insert boyfriend name here)" rather than "I have boy stories I need advice on"?

Not necessarily. I AM a girl, by the way.

[Blue92]

I say just ask her what it meant because "boy story" is such vague wording and could mean anything.

[HeartGoesOn]

I think the bottom line is, do you trust her?

[greywolf]

You completely trust her, and yet this is bugging you? I think you need to rethink that statement. And I don't think what she said was suspicious.

[WizardofOz]

You completely trust her, and yet this is bugging you? I think you need to rethink that statement. And I don't think what she said was suspicious.

 

I do trust her, I just can't get this out of my head. And what would you say she meant by "boy stories" and needing advice?

[MizzGee]

I don't think her using the phrase "boy stories" instead of your name is suspicious. My friends and I use the word boy as a shortened form of boyfriend. "How are you and your boy doing?" "What's the boy up to?"

[greywolf]

I do trust her, I just can't get this out of my head. And what would you say she meant by "boy stories" and needing advice?

 

Maybe she meant you. Maybe she meant some weird guy at the bar that tried to hit on her. It could mean anything. It could also mean she's cheating on you. Who knows. Maybe you should ask her since you trust her.

[LoveHurts89]

Maybe she wants advice on how to tell you she loves you for the first time, or maybe she wants advice on an outfit for a special occasion she is planning, or maybe she wants advice on how to give you a better BJ!

 

I can tell you one thing though, you'll have just knocked her trust in you without a doubt with how you approached it!

[pinkelephant]

But if you're a girl, wouldn't you say "I need to talk to you about (insert boyfriend name here)" rather than "I have boy stories I need advice on"?

 

no. i am a girl. she's in her early mid twenties, yes? it's kind of how we talk. i don't see ANYTHING wrong with this at ALL. In fact, I am seriously wondering why YOU don't question the fact that this made you think about cheating.

[giubilante]

But if you're a girl, wouldn't you say "I need to talk to you about (insert boyfriend name here)" rather than "I have boy stories I need advice on"?

 

Not necessarily.... some girls would talk this way, and even if your gf doesn't usually talk this, she may to this friend.

 

What I would be really worried about now is how you responded to it - if she wasn't worried before, she likely will be now. If my bf asked me about 'hypothetical' cheating situation, I would be worried!!

 

Tell her what you saw, and see what she has to say. But, DO be straightforward at this point - there has been enough mistrust in this relationship already.

[annie24]

i think even in the most loving relationship, there are still things that the people do that get on their partner's nerves. it could be anything really. could be she doesn't know how to tell you she doesn't want to spend the weekend with your parents or wants to figure out how to make you more romantic. or like the others said, she wants advice on how to give a bj or other thing that is a positive for your relationship. or maybe a guy at a bar or a coworker was hitting on her and she needs to figure out how to turn him down? something that she doesn't need to go to you for advice because it would make you feel uncomfortable and jealous. without any other issues/red flags/whatever, i would not worry about this.

[alertstatusred]

I don't think you have anything to worry about.

[WizardofOz]

i think even in the most loving relationship, there are still things that the people do that get on their partner's nerves. it could be anything really. could be she doesn't know how to tell you she doesn't want to spend the weekend with your parents or wants to figure out how to make you more romantic. or like the others said, she wants advice on how to give a bj or other thing that is a positive for your relationship. or maybe a guy at a bar or a coworker was hitting on her and she needs to figure out how to turn him down? something that she doesn't need to go to you for advice because it would make you feel uncomfortable and jealous. without any other issues/red flags/whatever, i would not worry about this.

 

There are no other red flags and things are going great between us. I've seen her a ton since she sent this message and never once did I suspect anything was different. It's still been bugging me most of today, but I'm going to let it go - will just going to assume it was either something to do with me, or something minor that she doesn't figure I need to know about.