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I haven't posted in awhile, and i kind of need a little extra support and i thought maybe i could lend my own perspective to other's out there struggling.


First and foremost, it does get better. So for those of you who are really at rock bottom, know that i've been there- and not only have i been there, but i built my own little home on rock bottom and barely did anything to help myself up. I think a part of us gets attached to the sadness that comes with the break up because it still keeps us attached to our exes. It's scary to be sad over someone day in and day out, but during this mindset it's even scarier to think of not having them in our lives at all, and completely accepting that they're gone. I wish i could say i'm doing SO much better, but i still have off days, i still have moments where i feel like i'm just getting by, i still miss him a lot- but i'm not overwhelmingly sad, and to be out of that pit means more to me than being insanely happy right now, because i know it's a process. And for anyone feeling down or stuck, remind yourself that it really, truly is a process and time is your only friend at this point. You won't wake up tomorrow, or a month from now, or so on and feel perfectly fine, and that is OKAY! It took me a year to get the balls to go NC after the break up. I stayed in his life, gave him his cake and let him eat it too. A month into NC, which is the longest we've ever gone, i was making up this hope in my mind and i broke NC. I regret it but at the same time, it helped me because he didn't want to speak to me, he still wanted me out of his life and that kind of depleted the excess amount of hope i had. I wouldn't recommend breaking NC though, remember this- if you aren't hearing from them, if they are coming to YOU- it's because they genuinely don't want to hear from you or talk to you. That's it.


I still want to bring more positivity and happiness to my life. A lot more actually. I can tell i'm still affected by the break up and i still feel completely alone at times. For me, the major emotion i feel now is bitterness. I don't think about him as much, i don't obsess over if he's coming back, but i still feel bitter that he could put me through this. He gives off such a sense of arrogance that really angers me. For one, he still has me blocked on his phone from calling which really, really angers me everytime i check and i get that stupid message telling me he's unavailable. I know i shouldn't even bother checking, i check a lot less now, and i know eventually i won't care to check at all but for now it really makes me mad. The way the blocking system is, i can't call through BUT i can text him. He can shut off the option to text, but he doesn't. Now, he knows that i can reach out to him (i did once) but i didn't make it a big deal. I was hurt, i talked to him about it briefly, then went back to NC- so what is the point in blocking me? It feels like he does it just so he always has the upperhand and i hate that, because when someone leaves you, blocks you, etc- essentially it's always going to be in THEIR hands. They hold all of the cards and get to make all of the moves. That makes me so furious to know that, in a sense, he kind of looks down on me by keeping my blocked.


I know i'm not healed yet, or even close, but i'm making steps. I still hope that one day he will miss me for real and we will have another chance, but i don't base my life off of that hope like i did before. I think we deserve another chance, but at this point, when i think of him and how much i did to fight for this relationship it makes me hate him. For now, if he ever came back, i would want him to work as hard as i did to make things better and prove it to me, because that's what i deserve. I don't think he will ever truly see what he did wrong or feel like he needs to fix anything though, i don't think he'll ever be mature enough to put his pride aside and work WITH me or fight for me.

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You aren't over him. I disagree about the blocking thing. The block just gets left on and forgotten about. You are reading too much into it. He is not looking down on you. He did the block a long time ago and you don't matter in his life. He wants the NC, just as you should. I don't see why you should be angry. It's his message to you that it is over. You can't predict the future and read people's minds so stop trying to read his. Just accept it and accept that you are not in his life or wanted.


You are making good steps. But you can't hold on to that hope. Trust me. It is artificial and delays your healing process. Even if secretly you want him back, the hope actually will push him further. You need to find happiness in yourself. Let him go. Then the future holds whatever it will for you. You will feel better and be a better person. In time, you won't even want him and find something better.


Good luck.

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There are several reasons for you to block someone.

I blocked my ex bf because I needed to get over him.

For what I know about your story, he was also in pain about this Break Up.

I think that he blocked you because he wants to get over you and he thinks it's best that you don't have any sort of contact.

Stop checking if he unblocked you, because if he does, it will make you wonder so many things, and we will also see that you tried to call him.

Otherwise, I think you're doing great with the healing thing. You should just be a little harder on yourself concerning these constant checking calls.

Giving up is the hardest.

I'm also trying and I guess only time can help you with this.

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