So complicated !! Long need help!!

[Abplm00]

Alright so where do I even start. I started dating my bestfriend when I was 18. I am now 23. We broke up a year and a half ago. He has been my bestfriend since I was about 15 years old. We have a 2 and a half year old daughter together. We broke up just after her first birthday. I left him because I was sick and tired of being the only one doing things around the house and with our daughter. He has never been very interactive with her at all. He would never feed, change or bath her. I suffered from post partum depression and our relationship was suffering because of it. Just nothing was working. I asked him to go to counseling and he wouldn't. I attended counseling by myself. After I left I never wanted to break up. I just really wanted to see if he'd fight for me and our daughter. Well he didn't. I found out the last month or so of our relationship he had been talking to one of our mutual friends via text message all the time. The day we broke up he went out with her for coffee. A week before this her boyfriend broke up with her. Anyway. After I left I begged him to just try for our family and you could tell he was hurt that I left. But he never once asked me to back. About two months later I found out he had been seeing one girl and then he was seeing our daughter every second weekend if he didn't ditch and make other plans. He wanted to introduce our daughter to his girlfriend and I told him I wanted to meet her first. I had been begging him to be with me since the day I left up until he had someone else. I never got to meet the girl anyway because she ended up moving away. I then ended up meeting someone. An old friend from grade school who came to town and we ended up seeing Eachother for a bit. It was never anything serious. I just went to visit twice where he lived. And I ended it because I couldn't stop thinking about my ex and I just couldn't get over him. So I continued to try and convince my ex there was a future. He asked me to go on vaction

Once around this time but I was being stubborn and didn't feel like he was doing it to work on things I thought the only reason he wanted to was to avoid having to go to court for custody and child support. Anyway. We broke up in April 2011 and this was around August. December we went to mediation to Talk about custody decided on an amount for child support. And he would have our daughter every second weekend and he could call whenever he wanted to pick her up. They then told him he was 7000 in arrears on child support and he wouldn't return to the mediation sessions. We did mediation because I couldn't afford a lawyer. I applied for a legal aid lawyer but got denied. Anyway. Later on in December we talked about working on things in the new year after Christmas. So I was really happy about that. Well January came and we would text n call and we were getting along really well til I found out on new years he had met someone and they started dating. We live in a small town so I've known her since high school she's 4 years younger than me but as senior high school kid I heard aloooot about her. She was very umm promiscuous you could say. And still is. Well even when he was with her I begged and begged for him back. Well since about may I've known she has been hanging out with her ex but I didn't want to tell him because I didn't want to instigate anything. Well recently he has found out and they have been broken up for about two weeks now. I still love him like crazy and just can't get over him. I have no interest in any other guy and just know it would never be the same with anyone else. I was positive I was going to marry him. Since about march I started to get back to the normal me. Lost the baby weight visiting with old friends and stuff. Before I was so depressed I wouldn't even leave the house. In February I got fired from my job because I was sad all the time and it was effecting my work. They gave me a pamphlet on suicide and depression, two weeks pay and sent me on my way. I finally decided I needed to take charge and be happy. So anyway. Now that his ex is out of the picture for good hopefully. I don't know what I should do. I miss my ex so much. I recently hired a lawyer. Like two weeks ago. And have started the process. Well lastnight our daughter had a sleep over at grandma's and I went for wine at my friends house and I texted me ex and asked him to give me a ride home. This is HUGE because he does not do things like this. Let alone text me back. So he gave me a ride home. And that was that. What I'm wondering is what should I do. Like do I tell him I miss him this much. Or do I just move on. Should I even suggest hanging out. Do I tell him I have a lawyer because if he finds out later it might ruin our chances of gettin back together if I'm not honest. He's the absolute love of my life and I want so bad for things to work but I'm so sick of being rejected. I just want him and our family. What do I do guys. Help me out.

 

-L